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Forum nameFreestyle Board
Topic subjectfragments
Topic URLhttp://board.okayplayer.com/okp.php?az=show_topic&forum=7&topic_id=62281
62281, fragments
Posted by WILDOUT, Sun Dec-03-06 11:27 AM
if you wait for me then ill come for you
although ive travelled far
i always hold a place for you in my heart..

it was the start of my memories
of my true love
in the deepest of a daze
i rushed into things headfirst
dead thirsty starving for love
afraid and unafraid of stealing your love
i was a fool and a tool of my own circumstance
now i see and i wait for my song to dance

theres something much deeper

and its your secret and mine

its in the design of this dimension its beyond all our eyes
i see something, no sees not the right word
i feel something, but i cant really quantify what ive heard
with my soul
and my spirit
twisting above the clouds
a dragon wrapped around the moon
and tears fell down
and the tide of the future moved according to her

i feel like ive always been yours

and in this earth there is love for one and all
we are like rose petals inside the fall
and our wishes are the wind taking us on our ride
these are only fragments of what i feel inside

and youve fed the earth
by giving me love
when my body returns to the womb
the life replaced in the tomb will be there because
this is my existance and we're only hear like this now
i wouldnt have this body stand by anyone else

my love
62282, My goodness...I love this peice
Posted by PepperRutledge, Sun Dec-03-06 11:43 AM
My fav part

>i feel like ive always been yours
>
>and in this earth there is love for one and all
>we are like rose petals inside the fall
>and our wishes are the wind taking us on our ride
>these are only fragments of what i feel inside
>
>and youve fed the earth
>by giving me love
>when my body returns to the womb
>the life replaced in the tomb will be there because
>this is my existance and we're only hear like this now
>i wouldnt have this body stand by anyone else
>
>my love

Love is such a powerful feeling and I love seeing the different ways people express it. I felt this one.
62432, RE: fragments
Posted by j alise, Fri Dec-08-06 10:26 PM
such a beautiful way to describe union. most people can't articulate a bond that is felt. our energy is shared, floats in the universe.. you painted a picture for me, thank you.
62458, ethereal and airy
Posted by ms mimi diva, Sat Dec-09-06 12:40 PM
Lovely work.

I sense a lot of passion here. Whimsical, but grounded by something,--very appropriate. I'd encourage you to play with the form. If a fragment were written, what would it look like on the page? I take that inspriation from your lines below-- I can just see this "song dancing".


where it hit me me:
was a fool and a tool of my own circumstance
now i see and i wait for my song to dance