the kids shrill over
the music, tagging each
other with super-soakers,

whipping through a street
littered with empty hug bottles
and candy wrappers

i stumble upon police
tape lining a neighborhood
where blaring speakers

are piled like totems
above the bodies
sweaty from riding back-

beats a Dj unleashes
from his makeshift booth
among the row houses'

warped wooden porches
of scattered dominoes
and shuffled cards

clever. the first 2, or 3 I hope you don't edit. They pulled me i to a place, and minus police, I think I was there this morning.
These are senryu-like, envoking scenes and senses. Wonder what the final edits will bring in emotion.

">beats a Dj unleashes
>from his makeshift booth
>among the row houses'
>
>warped wooden porches
>of scattered dominoes
>and shuffled cards
>"

and that too.

welcomed...

whipping through a street
littered with empty hug bottles
and candy wrappers

i stumble upon police
tape lining a neighborhood
where blaring speakers

are piled like totems
above the bodies

especially the above lines... Peace~

---------------------------------------
Pinwheels and HulaHoops|the book
http://www.lulu.com/content/132318
http://msmind.blogspot.com|the life

La magie, est dans ses yeux.
le prodige est dans son âme.

Block Party (suggested title)

Small spelling question: Did you intentionally make houses a possessive?

Otherwise, thoroughly enjoyed

First off, thanks Delrica for checking the piece. This came out of a writing exercise that Derrick and I did at 24/7 on Saturday. We called out five words to each other and came up with a poem on the spot using those five words. Secondly, yes, I did intentionally make houses possessive because of the the "warped wooden porches" on those houses.

Again, thanks for checking. Hopefully, I'll have something new to post up soon. Pacers!!

First off, thanks Delrica for checking the piece. This came out of a writing exercise that Derrick and I did at 24/7 on Saturday. We called out five words to each other and came up with a poem on the spot using those five words. Secondly, yes, I did intentionally make houses possessive because of the the "warped wooden porches" on those houses.

Again, thanks for checking. Hopefully, I'll have something new to post up soon. Pacers!!

First off, thanks Delrica for checking the piece. This came out of a writing exercise that Derrick and I did at 24/7 on Saturday. We called out five words to each other and came up with a poem on the spot using those five words. Secondly, yes, I did intentionally make houses possessive because of the the "warped wooden porches" on those houses.

Again, thanks for checking. Hopefully, I'll have something new to post up soon. Pacers!!

>where blaring speakers
>
>are piled like totems
>above the bodies

yes

soul.

Carisia, Dawn, and Keith shrill
over the music, tagging each other
with super-soakers, whipping
through a street littered with empty
hug bottles and candy wrappers

that's dope!, Derrick says
when we stumble upon
police tape lining a neighborhood
where blaring speakers are piled
like totems above sweaty bodies

riding backbeats a Dj unleashes
from his makeshift booth
among the warped wooden
porches of shuffled cards
and scattered dominoes

i was in the eighth grade when
my boy Adrian and i crashed
Ashli's party and refused to leave
'til we were chased away by her
older brother and some classmates

we barely escaped the ice water
hurled at us from a cooler, shrieking
as loud as the kids at this block party
on a street tourists skip over, looking
for the city they've seen in postcards

when i read it
meaning to say sumthing,
but i was rushing off to class

so, im back
& when u have the final final copy
send it
b/c i feel sum definite things here