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Forum name | Freestyle Board |
Topic subject | Reflection |
Topic URL | http://board.okayplayer.com/okp.php?az=show_topic&forum=7&topic_id=60353 |
60353, Reflection Posted by Amai_1, Fri Sep-15-06 06:36 PM
I thought I saw my reflection in your aura
I could have sworn I saw glimpses Within the swirls of light Seeing myself in your purples On my feisty nights.
The moments of your blues I swore I was in your arms In the calm After the storm of our passion.
Then there were the days I could have sworn within your yellow haze I saw myself Standing hand-in-hand with you.
And in the vibrancy of your greens I remember seeing My laughter and sedation Within your own.
But now I realize I must have been mistaken…
I was not seeing myself within your hues It was my soul, My aura That I was seeing through.
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60366, cool colourful Posted by lunaeco, Sun Sep-17-06 07:30 AM
Great flow. Great read of colourful lively identifiable feelings. Loved this:
"Seeing myself in your purples On my feisty nights.
The moments of your blues I swore I was in your arms In the calm"
Great movement through your emotion, and the colors that represent around/inside/etc. Special read, thank you.
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60430, RE: cool colourful Posted by Amai_1, Mon Sep-18-06 11:33 PM
Thank you Lunaeco. I appreciate your comments :)
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60374, it was my soul, my aura i was seeing through Posted by mindful, Sun Sep-17-06 11:10 AM
beautiful...
fave lines:
Seeing myself in your purples On my feisty nights.
The moments of your blues I swore I was in your arms In the calm After the storm of our passion.
Then there were the days I could have sworn within your yellow haze I saw myself Standing hand-in-hand with you.
And in the vibrancy of your greens I remember seeing My laughter and sedation Within your own.
Peace~
--------------------------------------- Pinwheels and HulaHoops|the book http://www.lulu.com/content/132318 http://msmind.blogspot.com|the life
La magie, est dans ses yeux. le prodige est dans son âme.
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60431, RE: it was my soul, my aura i was seeing through Posted by Amai_1, Mon Sep-18-06 11:37 PM
Thank you mindful - the last stanza was important to me. I believe that one's soul is not on the inside, like some people think, but a halo surrounding your entire body. I think the soul and aura are one in the same. So basically, in the end I came to the conclusion that HE wasn't the one making me feel all those things, it was the colors of my soul/aura that I was actually seeing, and therefore, the colors/feelings were mine...
Hope that made sense lol
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60384, RE: Reflection Posted by B.WilkZ, Mon Sep-18-06 06:52 AM
This was a good read - I liked the imagery you had in it throughout, but that last little stanza stood out more then anything else to me.
Only thing was you used the words "swore" and "sworn" like 4 times. For such a short piece, maybe other synnoyms wouldnt have made that jump at me when I read thru it.... but I was diggin it mos def!
do it dirty - 1
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"Either I'm one of the strongest people left ... or y'all should stone me for even trying to steal breath" - Brother Ali
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- B.
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60432, RE: Reflection Posted by Amai_1, Mon Sep-18-06 11:42 PM
Thanks B. The last stanza was also very powerful for me. I used swore and sworn so much because it was kind of the focus and it helped bring it home in the last stanza - all throughout the poem I'm thinking these feelings/colors/emotions are FROM him, but at the end I conlude that they were my own. Kind of bittersweet... It shows that maybe he wasn't as into me as I thought, but at the same time, I realized I am in control of how I feel and what I experience. Like I have the power to bring upon my own happiness.
Thanks for taking the time to read it :)
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60484, RE: Reflection Posted by Nowachaoticthing, Thu Sep-21-06 01:33 PM
Beautiful poem. Effortlessly flowing and melodic.
The ending wraps it up nicely:
"I was not seeing myself within your hues It was my soul, My aura That I was seeing through."
Nicely done
"To be a poet is a condition, not a profession." - Robert Frost
My crappy blog: http://www.livejournal.com/users/eyes_of_mine/
Blind Eye Turning: My book http://www.lulu.com/content/187759
My other crappy blog: http://inevitabletruth.blogspot.com/
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60555, RE: Reflection Posted by Amai_1, Sat Sep-23-06 10:10 PM
Thank you...Coming from you, that really means a lot.
Thank you for taking the time to read it.
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60536, RE: Reflection Posted by ASIEM, Sat Sep-23-06 03:09 PM
escoteric and clear nice combination
"keep pennin till the earth birth's your rightful seed then nurture it wit more ink..." ASIEM "Kuun fiyah Kuun" Quran (Be and it is) " A writer takes his pen to write the words again that all in love is fair" Stevie Wonder
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60556, RE: Reflection Posted by Amai_1, Sat Sep-23-06 10:13 PM
Thank you, ASIEM. I like your perception of esoteric/clear.
Thanks for taking the time to respond.
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60558, effortless and easily beautiful Posted by ms mimi diva, Sun Sep-24-06 12:12 AM
I agree is a good description of this
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60596, RE: effortless and easily beautiful Posted by Amai_1, Mon Sep-25-06 05:15 PM
Thanks Ms.!
I appreciate the love.
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