U –n- I
By Improv!?

Sometimes I wonder
Why I haven’t given up
On us yet
As much mental angst we’re been through
We should have gone insane
Or broken down
But we’re standing strong
While wading through the bullshit
Now I see why your favorite article of clothing
Is Capri
You and I are the same image
In that cracked mirror we tried to hide
From the world
You and I are the same person
No longer making love to Marvin Gaye or Prince
But to R. Kelly who whispered in your multi-pierced ear
That you remind him of something
He just don’t know what
And you and I accept this as the true definition of Love
Love?
Have we even touched its skin?
Kissed its tears
Held it in our arms
Even once?
I doubt that I ever did
But I’m willing to with you…

We sat at a table of indecision and ate misunderstanding
Pointing fingers at each other
To make the food go down quicker
Our tablemates dished out second and thirds
Even after we said we are full
Lies and rumors
Jealousy and envy
When did we decide that our diet will consist of
Such unhealthy train of thoughts?
Was it after we shed that last tear
Which melted our innocence?
Was it during the serving of hot passion
That clouded our vision?
Or was it that every time we looked in the cracked mirror
Instead of seeing our beauty
We
Just
Saw the flaws
Within each jagged line…

I can never hate you
Hating you is like hating myself
When I hold you
I can understand
Why my rib was taken to create you
When I hear your voice
I can understand
Why the morning is never complete without a bird singing
Pardon my infatuation
But I’m in awe of
The way you can
Fit within the puzzle called us
Now if only we could get away from this table
Long enough to start living healthy…

But that mirror is blocking our way
And you’ve discovered your flaws again
I tried to tell you to look pass them
You couldn’t
You can’t
You won’t
So to hide your shame
You point out mine
And compare them
To the niggas who
Caused the mirror to crack in the first place
I’m confused by the abuse I’m taking
For some other nigga
Who pulled the trigger to their sex shooter
When all I wanted to do
Was to know you
But the closer I get to you
The more you draw away
You’re waiting to exhale
While I’m trying to inhale your essence
But you mask your natural scent
With the conception of the perfect man
Or rather
The lack of
I may not be the best man
But I’m striving to be
Not only for you
But for my unborn son so that he can see that
Yes men are able to say I’m sorry when they’re wrong,
It’s ok to rescue a damsel in distress,
And it’s not a sin to love just one woman
I’m trying to get right so we won’t get left
But what’s the use when I’m being beaten to death
With all your bad relationships
Baby,
Look at me
Look at me long and hard
I’m not that nigga that left you for Suzy
In you second trimester,
Fucked with three of your best friends,
And crashed your car after a wild night of partying
While you were mourning a love passing away
I’m not that nigga
Just like you’re not that female who
Used me as a stepping stone
To build up her self-esteem
Broke my heart and called five minutes later just to kick it
Or the one I made cry because
I
Just
Wasn’t
Ready
We are none of those people
And I’m tired of jumping through hoops
Just to prove you wrong…

I need for us to start all over from the letter Alpha
To our Omega
Let’s have a clean slate to write
Our journals on each other’s heart
Declarations on our backs
And emancipate all the demons
We allowed to enslave us
Let’s build back up our lives
On concrete instead of shifting sands
Understand that I love you because
You complete me
And I need you to breathe
Within this polluted world
All I ask and pray for
Is that you feel the same way too
So that we could put away the mirror
And only reflect
Ourselves
In each
other…

© 1999


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