*its tonygee. 17 year old, down south born and bred, "jive-turkey" sayin, poet with no technique, thinker, problem solver, and i'm black. Amerikkka's worst nitemare. Except i dont hide in closets.


Hangman

they felt like it was my time to rise
hovering like 5 feet above the dandelions
I'm the talk of the town
the center of attention
you cant go nowhere without hearing my mention
serving in my treeside detention
this is the white-woman-got-raped-not-really prevention
damn i shoulda listened
there is no such thing as a white woman consentin
to a black man
i swing i sway
i can see the river where i will lay
i...pray to god, i pray
the named a game for me
nowadays the games kids play
they said it was my time to rise
he said "tighten the rope
time to meet your hangman demise"

tonygee, this is good. I'd like to see something more personal, and also, check the wording a little. No need for "like":

"my time to rise
hovering five feet above the dandelions
i'm the talk of the town"

bless

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Pinwheels and HulaHoops|the book
http://www.lulu.com/content/132318
http://msmind.blogspot.com|the life

La magie, est dans ses yeux.
le prodige est dans son âme.

keep writin dabble wit sum verbaGE and mix up your rhyme scheme wit skillz poetic genious is da goal

"keep pennin till the earth birth's your rightful seed then nurture it wit more ink..."
ASIEM
"Kuun fiyah Kuun" Quran
(Be and it is)
" A writer takes his pen to write the words again that all in love is fair" Stevie Wonder