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| Forum name | Freestyle Board |
| Topic subject | Untitled or Sleeping Jesus: A Cinquain Series |
| Topic URL | http://board.okayplayer.com/okp.php?az=show_topic&forum=7&topic_id=58397 |
58397, Untitled or Sleeping Jesus: A Cinquain Series
Posted by Amira Muse, Wed Jul-12-06 03:35 PM
We were
stopped at a red
light. You were driving me
home. It was quiet and I held
your hand,
tracing
the dark spot on
your palm. You claimed it was
dirt captured beneath your skin since
childhood.
I thought
it was a mark
of stigmata. Jesus
seeping his way through the
pinpoint
black hole
at the crux of
your hand. Years later I’d
watch you sleeping, your body spread
across
the sheets,
mumbling prayers
between smiles, the darkness
of your palm clenching into a
pale fist.
©A. Dixon 2205
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58411, kudos
Posted by Unique1ne, Thu Jul-13-06 12:02 PM
I really like this.
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58412, Hmmm...
Posted by NinAnin, Thu Jul-13-06 12:31 PM
...so did Jesus ever get into him?
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58413, A little bit yea...
Posted by Amira Muse, Thu Jul-13-06 12:44 PM
I'm unsure about the ending of this, but hopefully i got across the love/worship idea.
thank you for taking the time to read :)
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58414, It was very nice...
Posted by NinAnin, Thu Jul-13-06 12:56 PM
...visual. I appreciate your words. Thank you.
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58417, just noticed
Posted by Amira Muse, Thu Jul-13-06 01:02 PM
you sig. i love him! def ears has been on repeat for the last few weeks
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58681, .
Posted by blaksilence, Sun Jul-23-06 11:14 AM
>We were
>stopped at a red
>light. You were driving me
>home. It was quiet and I held
>your hand,
>
>
>tracing
>the dark spot on
>your palm. You claimed it was
>dirt captured beneath your skin since
>childhood.
>
>
>I thought
>it was a mark
>of stigmata. Jesus
>seeping his way through the
>pinpoint
>
>
>black hole
>at the crux of
>your hand. Years later I’d
>watch you sleeping, your body spread
>across
>
>
>the sheets,
>mumbling prayers
>between smiles, the darkness
>of your palm clenching into a
>pale fist.
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58721, Impressive....
Posted by KnowOne, Mon Jul-24-06 01:47 PM
Im feelin it. Your very talented.
Keep Flowin' Sis'...................
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58881, RE: Untitled or Sleeping Jesus: A Cinquain Series
Posted by ms mimi diva, Fri Jul-28-06 04:13 AM
black hole
at the crux of
your hand. Years later I’d
watch you sleeping, your body spread
across
Lines are so tight, but not a word wasted. Thank you for sharing this.
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58966, Damn! (jumpin' like florida from good times)
Posted by invisible ink, Sun Jul-30-06 11:15 AM
dare i say what i like?
I liked it all...whew chile...but these lines run deep for me:
tracing
the dark spot on
your palm. You claimed it was
dirt captured beneath your skin since
childhood.
I thought
it was a mark
of stigmata. Jesus
seeping his way through the
pinpoint
it's hard to get my wheels spinning ona sunday(lol)....u killed it ...beautiful work....miss k
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89653, RE: Untitled or Sleeping Jesus: A Cinquain Series
Posted by Babynoon, Sat Oct-01-11 12:20 PM
up
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