They had a wolf.... roller blading.... through the air.

They could have called this shit Where Wolf and put some cheesy Flash Gordon music to amp up the camp, and we may well be talking about how gloriously absurd this shit was.

But nope.

Instead, we got Eddie Redmayne playing the sort of role RDJ's Tropic Thunder character would play in one of the goofy ass in-movie trailers of a Tropic Thunder sequel.

Like, I could see that role being Tobias Fhunke's (from Arrested Development) big break. Some real self-serious "I'm an acTOR!" shit.

We got Ned Stark talking about how bees recognize royalty and some creepy ass incest.

I can't remember a movie that so badly shit the bed.

In fact, I think a movie about actual people shitting in actual beds would have been better. At least then you'd know better than to spend money on snacks.