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Forum namePass The Popcorn
Topic subjectWay too much April; the turtles were hulks, not ninjas
Topic URLhttp://board.okayplayer.com/okp.php?az=show_topic&forum=6&topic_id=671422&mesg_id=683744
683744, Way too much April; the turtles were hulks, not ninjas
Posted by kevlar skully, Mon Aug-11-14 11:19 AM

I was bored every time the turtles/splinter weren't on the screen which is basically the first 20 minuets of the movie. This was basically an April O'neal movie with some mutant hulks thrown in for action purposes. No-one need that much April or for her to be so interwoven into the turtles backstory.


They didn't screw up the turtles personalities which is mostly a testament to how strong the characters have been developed since the 1980s. Mikey brought the funny lines & I loved when Donnie used his bo staff to flip a truck, that was badass.

But I just don't understand why the turtles were seemingly bullet proof all over or why they were so big that they could destroy an armored vehicle just by smashing into it with their massive shells.. They should have used the awesome turtles designs from the "Out of the shadows" video game. Those are "realistic" mutant turtles designs that would have worked great in this movie, while allowing our favorite ninjas to still be fucking ninjas. Huge waste they didn't use those designs, imo.

They barely ,if at all, did any ninja shit like being fucking covert. They were too big to try to hide, I guess. Beyond a scene in the beginning at the docks, I don't remember any other night/sneaking unseen scenes. The whole movie was so bright, it felt like the exact opposite from the glorious 90s turtles movie that still kicks shell today, imo


It sucks that these shitty filmmakers can cash in with nostalgia while never even pretending to respect the source material. I grew up on the turtles and have seen them enjoy many different iterations, some versions adding something new to the franchise that damn near becomes canon(like loving pizza or colored headbands) while some versions added things so bad they will probably never be mentioned in any turtles anything again(Venus De Milo, the girl turtle)

The best versions of the turtles in my opine are the ones that can manage to play what works of the original gritty comic book with the fun & overly silly stuff from the first cartoon. IMO, the current cartoon on Nick probably does the best job of balancing the drama with the fun stuff. The Cartoon from the 2000s did a great job too, especially culminating in the kick ass "Turtles Forever" animated movie that anyone who loves the turtles should definitely watch. When I got home, "Turtles Forever" washed the bad taste out of my mouth after this latest Hollywood nostalgia cash in turtles movie.

So thankfully, they can't "ruin our childhood" by making one shitty nostalgia cash-in turtles movie; the turtles are too great to be ruined by this movie, not when Nickelodeon is airing one of the best turtles anything, ever, in any medium with their turtles show.

The real shitty part, beside me paying $9.75 to see this crap, is that they are almost certainly aiming to make this a trilogy & I definitely don't want to see April & her teenage mutant hulk turtle pets anymore, much less for two more forgettable films