Just in case someone wants to talk about it.

Here's the terrific Variety review, for your pleasure.

http://variety.com/2013/film/reviews/film-review-grown-ups-2-1200561423/

The first scene in “Grown Ups 2” depicts a deer urinating directly onto Adam Sandler’s face. The penultimate scene (spoiler alert) depicts the very same deer apparently castrating Taylor Lautner. These bookends are not only the film’s highlights, they also represent the closest it comes to establishing any sort of narrative throughline. Among the slackest, laziest, least movie-like movies released by a major studio in the last decade, “Grown Ups 2” is perhaps the closest Hollywood has yet come to making “Ow! My Balls!” seem like a plausible future project. It is all but guaranteed a strong opening weekend.

A follow-up to 2010’s critically savaged yet massively lucrative “Grown Ups,” this sequel introduces a few changes. Most obviously, although Dennis Dugan is back in the director’s chair and stars Sandler, Kevin James, Chris Rock and David Spade all reprise their roles as high-school buddies turned over-the-hill dads, Rob Schneider is mysteriously missing. But more importantly, while “Grown Ups” made some often cringeworthy attempts to shoehorn maudlin life lessons and character arcs into all the crotch smashing, this sequel barely attempts to function as a piece of narrative filmmaking at all, almost immediately devolving into a hash of frantic, random incidents strung together with the slimmest sliver of coherence.

Like “Mrs. Dalloway” and “Ulysses,” “Grown Ups 2” unfolds entirely within the span of a single day; in this case, the last day of school in a small Massachusetts town. Like “Ulysses” — though unlike “Mrs. Dalloway” — it features plentiful flatulence, and James Joyce might well have appreciated the neologism “burpsnart,” which describes Kevin James’ character’s ability to burp, sneeze and fart simultaneously. Whether he would have appreciated seeing this trick repeated no less than five times is an enigma for the ages, though the sheer amount of pissing, vomiting, ear picking, crotch sniffing, man-on-dog tongue kissing and belly-button lint eating that the film contains would surely push anyone over the edge.

The cast is massive — in addition to a cross-section of Sandler’s former “Saturday Night Live” compatriots, Lautner, Shaquille O’Neal and Steve Austin are among the newcomers — and rather than attempt to construct intersecting plotlines that involve all these thesps, the script (by Sandler, Fred Wolf and Tim Herlihy) instead simply doles out a single task for each character to accomplish (ask the girl out, avoid the bully, bond with the long-lost son, etc.), the vast majority of which are forgotten as soon as they’re introduced.

As bad as it is at tying up loose ends, the film is even worse at laying groundwork. In one scene, the central foursome come across a giant tire, and with no attempt at explanation or reasonable comedic setup, Spade is simply thrust inside and sent rolling through town, because that’s what grown men do when they find a giant tire.

There are some mercies, however. Befitting Sandler’s personal reputation as a mensch, most of the actors seem to have had a good time onset. And while Sandler’s films usually feature wall-to-wall product placement, “Grown Ups 2’s” brand-whoring is constrained to a single — albeit seemingly endless — scene set prominently inside a K-Mart. The film also avoids some of the misanthropy and borderline racism that has emerged in so many recent Sandler projects, although a female bodybuilder comes in for some bizarrely elongated and repeated abuse, and never with more wit than the moment in which Maya Rudolph’s character randomly points at her and yells, “She’s got a penis.”

While the film is hardly distinguished by any of its craft elements, it’s never nearly as ugly as it is stupid.

Surpised Rob Scneider passed on this one, guess I will as well lol

No...rumor is he had a spat with Sandler and they were on the outs.

I can't stand the cast itself, especially Kevin James. He's almost as bad as schnieder. David Spade has a lifetime pass for Joe Dirt though, and Rock gets love for his stand up even if his movies suck all manner of dick.

I've largely hated Sandler movies since Big Daddy, with the exceptions being Funny People, Just Go With It, and, oddly enough, Grown Ups. It was formulaic bullshit through and through but managed to be pretty enjoyable to my wife and I. This one looks like some shit to watch on HBO.

No Rob Schnieder brought that shit up several degrees though.

I liked the first one, will pass on this one until it his TBS or TNT.....



You gon' live forever
Whether you want to or not
Some of us gon' end up holy
Some of us gon' end up hot.....

Sounds like a Zucker Brothers flick, and I would watch that.

Since this is an imperfect world, 'Ow, My Balls' would be a Sandler production starring Kevin James, as though that's not every he's in anyways.

the refference. I was actually pretty surprised that author refered to "Ow, My Balls!". It was a fictional reality tv show in movie "Idiocracy". Check it out if you haven't

Idiocracy came out a while ago. Its achieved a pretty good following like Office Space. Hollywood has no original ideas. Perfect.

Good catch.

Now I want some Extra Big Ass Fries.

----------------------------



O_E: "Acts like an asshole and posts with imperial disdain"




"I ORBITs the solar system, listenin..."

(C)Keith Murray, "

.

EVER.

This shit is easily in that "worst of the worst" class, and I wish I could say that was hyperbole.

There's nothing that even resembles a plot. That's not me being cute and snarky, there's literally no plot. A few things tie up in the end but there's no actual story line whatsoever. At all.

So many of the jokes and gags felt like part of a bit that was written before the writers got their coffee or whatever, got sidetracked, and forgot to finish. I lost count of all the jokes where the punchline was someone saying "whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?" in very exaggerated fashion. No, really. That's the truth.

What's hilarious about Rob Schnieder not doing this is the fact that this was so perfectly up his alley it makes you wonder if he felt he was perhaps one bludgeoning review away from even Sandler no longer being able to support his career. Rob had to have read that script and said "I've whored myself out to bullshit like this throughout the entire sad sack of shit known as my career, but THIS might actually be the death knell."

It's like the Chris Rock bit where mass murderers and child molesters and look at the guy who just hacked up his whole family like "You're sick!".

The worst part of this piece of shit movie is that I was stuck in a room full of imbeciles who guffawed through the entire mess. I'm talking loud, side splitting, popcorn spitting laughter. Uproarious. These people were yucking it up every 7 seconds.

Thank god I saw this shit in another state. I was stuck taking my cousins two kids due to what was perceived to be a promise months ago, and the movie + the concessions and lunch wound up burning about 60 bucks. S