If that's not your thing, well...

I didn't mind it so much, just wish that the story being told was better and made more than a lick of sense

This movie exists mainly for the benefit of Johnny Depp and Tim Burton, both of whom were serious Dark Shadows fans as kids

And it was their call, by the way, to "camp it up," as those here have noted

Except it's not really camped up so much as the humor's dry as a bone and the overall atmosphere is a bit dark (but not too much)

A majority of the jokes center around Depp's being the proverbial fish out of water in the year 1972. More than a few of the visual, "look at this weird thing from 1972!" gags fell flat for me but I and the audience laughed out loud more than a few times at Depp's delivery of insults. If you're a wrestling fan, just imagine William Regal as a vampire waking up in the year 1972 and you're almost there.

Practically everyone else, save Eva Green and Michelle Pfeiffer, were wasted to me. Chloe Grace-Moretz was just around to roll her eyes at Barnabas, because, you know, she SO can't be bothered to deal with him. Don't get me started on Jonny Lee Miller and Jackie Earle Haley, who both seemed to be there just to get a check. And I didn't care about the chick who was supposed to be Barnabas' love from back in his time as well as in '72. This is supposed to be the big story that keeps our investment in the movie, but it just didn't work for me. I was more interested in Depp acting fey (yet again) and walking around like an alien.

Listen, all that said, it's not a bad movie, it's one you could catch on cable (or Netflix) if you were bored one day and want to see Johnny Depp act a fool for about 2 hours.

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