...then he succeeded. But he didn't, because that's fucking dumb and a huge waste of money and a smudge on his resume.

Again, you can make a movie with contrived dialogue and still make it fun in that "bad" way. Again, I point to Planet Terror. But you can't make a movie that expensive with the intention of making the audiences hate it. Tarantino wasn't in interviews saying "Oh man, you won't believe how bad this movie is!" He thought he was making a modern-day incarnation of a specific genre. The trouble is, old examples of that genre succeeded, because they were still fun. His attempt failed miserably.