I, uh, make a FANTASTIC speaking engagement date. Uh...I have ambidextrous listening ability, I can focus for more than 10 minutes at a time on one thing, and I, uh, I like to go grab a beer afterward and talk EVEN MORE about what was said. I can also bench press 275 pounds 5 times. Even with a head cold I did that one time.

Plus its like 20 days after my birthday and YOU KNOW you owe me a birthday present. Don't even try to deny it, bitch.