Quotes Galore.....




"Look what ya did, ya little jerk!"

"Well how am I supposed to shave in France?
Grow a goatee"


"I took a shower washing every body part with actual soap; including all my major crevices; including in between my toes and in my belly button which I never did before but sort of enjoyed. I washed my hair with adult formula shampoo and used cream rinse for that just-washed shine. I can't seem to find my toothbrush, so I'll pick one up when I go out today. Other than that, I'm in good shape. "

"Is this toothbrush approved by the American Dental Association?"


"How could we do this? We forgot him.
We didn't forget him. We just miscounted.
What kind of a mother am I?
If it makes you feel any better, I forgot my reading glasses"

"Hi, I'm Mitch Murphy. I live across the street. You guys going out of town? We're going to Orlando, Florida. Well, actually, first we're going to Missouri to pick up my grandma. Did you know the McCallisters are going to France? Do you know if it's cold there? Do these vans get good gas mileage?"

"Why the hell did you take your shoes off?
Why the hell are you dressed like a chicken?"