Inspired by the opening line of Bwood's Top Gun: Maverick review in PTP.

https://board.okayplayer.com/okp.php?az=show_topic&forum=6&topic_id=744415&mesg_id=744415&page=

"The first one is part of the holy trinity of cinematic Caucasity."

A lot of us overlooked it, but someone caught this gem, and got us wondering: WTF is the Holy Trinity Of Cinematic Caucasity?

Bwood hasn't replied yet, but we're not waiting around.

So far, Top Gun is firmly the head of the Trinity, the Superman to the Batman and Wonder Woman of the other two, with Rocky emerging as a favorite for the second.

Personally, I think Rocky II is the one in this Trinity, for obvious reasons.

The third is where we seem to be stuck, with some saying Godfather, and others saying Braveheart. I think both are subsets of a category unto themselves.

Braveheart, for example, really seems like the standard issue pregame before an Act Of Caucasity, i.e, Charlottesville, Jan 6, penning a manifesto, etc.

Not Holy Trinity material, IMO. So we're hashing that out.

But then I thought, why stop at the Holy Trinity? There's so much more Cinematic Caucasity worthy of discussion, including subcategories (see Braveheart) of Caucasity.

What sayest you?

Oh yeah: Maverick is sitting at 97% in Rotten Tomatoes, and 81% on Metacritic.

Braveheart for sure

I'm saying that not fully understanding this game, but i guess i'd interpret it as "white people shit" in the sense of things white people can get extra hyped over in a way that others don't. it just hits their white sensibilities or bloodstream differently.

Eddie Murphy kinda covered the whole Rocky thing.

the Godfather is just universal though. Plus you can't just put in 2 Italian things.

I think of Field of Dreams or The Natural as more in the lane COld Truth talking about.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

EVERYONE loves Godfather. It's seen as the greatest film of all time by a lot of people, and if not then solidly in the top 5.

depends on how we're defining the different subcategories. But I feel like Rocky and Top Gun are locked in (I get your point about Rocky II, but the original was so much more popular and more critically acclaimed.)

I feel like there's several contenders for the third spot depending on category and how we're defining this. Braveheart, Die Hard, Godfather, Goodfellas, Back to the Future, and Terminator would all be contenders IMO...

______________________________________________________________________________

"To Each His Reach"

but.....

Fuck aliens.

Your post below will make like 40% of this whole thread lol

______________________________________________________________________________

"To Each His Reach"

but.....

Fuck aliens.

Top Gun? Not hardly. Rocky II? eh. Getting there.

Neither of those even scratch the surface of cinematic caucasity. Top Gun is just a good old fashioned 80's "american fuck yeah!" action flick.

How you gonna have a trinity of cinematic caucasity without ONE film that embodies the true essences of cinematic caucasity: SAVIOR COMPLEX and MAXIMUM WHITE AGENCY.

So i nominate the following films, not for a trinity, but for a council of cinematic caucasity. If there was a Council of Elrond for white ass films, these guys would have a seat at the table:

1. Dangerous Minds (white saveya!)
2. It's a Wonderful Life (white cultural idealism)
3. Gone With The Wind (c'mon.)
4. Titanic (they even seperated the whites from the dirty whites in this one. plus Celine Dion)
5. Breakfast Club (white adolescent agency to the maxxx!)
6. Boondock Saints (white guys get guns and decide they're gonna set things straight. Sound familiar?)
7. Pretty Woman (white womenz agency! and fairy tale)
7a. The Blind Side (c'mon)
8. The Help (white saveya! now with 20% more guud whitefolk)
9. Avatar (black voiced blue guy says let's fight- naw that's a bad idea. Jakey Saveya says fight? - RRRAAAWWWRRRRRRR. And he gets the choicest blue booty in the trible. C'mon)
9a. The Last Samurai (same as above)
10. The 10 Commandments (c'mon! Still holds cinematic record for sheer tonnage of bronzer used. On every Easter. Standard bearer for erasure of minorities in their own culture)

Other categories-

Special Black Friend Award: Driving Miss Daisy
Special Black Friend Award (Magical Category): Legend of Bagger Vance
Special Black Friend Lifetime Achievement Award: Ghost


______________________________________________________________________________

"To Each His Reach"

but.....

Fuck aliens.

>Top Gun is just a good old fashioned 80's "american
>fuck yeah!" action flick.

If that's what TG embodies, than that basically makes it top shelf Caucasity, no?


>How you gonna have a trinity of cinematic caucasity without
>ONE film that embodies the true essences of cinematic
>caucasity: SAVIOR COMPLEX and MAXIMUM WHITE AGENCY.
>
>So i nominate the following films, not for a trinity, but for
>a council of cinematic caucasity. If there was a Council of
>Elrond for white ass films, these guys would have a seat at
>the table:

Damn you made a good ass list. I'll have to get back to you later on that.

>1. Dangerous Minds (white saveya!)
>2. It's a Wonderful Life (white cultural idealism)
>3. Gone With The Wind (c'mon.)
>4. Titanic (they even seperated the whites from
>the dirty whites in this one. plus Celine Dion)
>5. Breakfast Club (white adolescent agency to the maxxx!)
>6. Boondock Saints (white guys get guns and decide they're
>gonna set things straight. Sound familiar?)
>7. Pretty Woman (white womenz agency! and fairy tale)
> 7a. The Blind Side (c'mon)
>8. The Help (white saveya! now with 20% more guud whitefolk)
>9. Avatar (black voiced blue guy says let's fight- naw that's
>a bad idea. Jakey Saveya says fight? - RRRAAAWWWRRRRRRR. And
>he gets the choicest blue booty in the trible. C'mon)
> 9a. The Last Samurai (same as above)
>10. The 10 Commandments (c'mon! Still holds cinematic record
>for sheer tonnage of bronzer used. On every Easter. Standard
>bearer for erasure of minorities in their own culture)
>
>Other categories-
>
>Special Black Friend Award: Driving Miss Daisy
>Special Black Friend Award (Magical Category): Legend of
>Bagger Vance
>Special Black Friend Lifetime Achievement Award: Ghost

Ok, now we're talking. Yeah you kind of bodied this one. I'll have to put some time in to give a proper response.

came up with the original idea of a trilogy. But his inclusion of Top Gun seemed to infer the way that it was written that Cinematic Causasity was basically sub-par movies that white folks love. (Not that I'm calling Top Gun sub-par, but that seemed to be his entire original point.) But bwood didn't seem to be talking about the actual content from a perspective of "white savior" movies...

That being said, yeah - Breakfast Club fits the original category to a T. So does It's a Wonderful Life. Most of those other films belong in more of a sub-category around "whites doing great things despite the odds"...

>other films belong in more of a sub-category around "whites
>doing great things despite the odds"...

^^^^^^^^^^thats the whole idea of cinematic whiteness!^^^^^^^^^^^

Although I would have added "despite the odds and absurdity involved"
______________________________________________________________________________

"To Each His Reach"

but.....

Fuck aliens.

The three movies I stated are the ones I hear most from white people that make me shrug.

Breakfast Club comes close. Shit I may have to expand the canon to include it.

and funny

>Top Gun? Not hardly. Rocky II? eh. Getting there.
>
>Neither of those even scratch the surface of cinematic
>caucasity. Top Gun is just a good old fashioned 80's "american
>fuck yeah!" action flick.
>
>How you gonna have a trinity of cinematic caucasity without
>ONE film that embodies the true essences of cinematic
>caucasity: SAVIOR COMPLEX and MAXIMUM WHITE AGENCY.
>
>So i nominate the following films, not for a trinity, but for
>a council of cinematic caucasity. If there was a Council of
>Elrond for white ass films, these guys would have a seat at
>the table:
>
>1. Dangerous Minds (white saveya!)
>2. It's a Wonderful Life (white cultural idealism)
>3. Gone With The Wind (c'mon.)
>4. Titanic (they even seperated the whites from
>the dirty whites in this one. plus Celine Dion)
>5. Breakfast Club (white adolescent agency to the maxxx!)
>6. Boondock Saints (white guys get guns and decide they're
>gonna set things straight. Sound familiar?)
>7. Pretty Woman (white womenz agency! and fairy tale)
> 7a. The Blind Side (c'mon)
>8. The Help (white saveya! now with 20% more guud whitefolk)
>9. Avatar (black voiced blue guy says let's fight- naw that's
>a bad idea. Jakey Saveya says fight? - RRRAAAWWWRRRRRRR. And
>he gets the choicest blue booty in the trible. C'mon)
> 9a. The Last Samurai (same as above)
>10. The 10 Commandments (c'mon! Still holds cinematic record
>for sheer tonnage of bronzer used. On every Easter. Standard
>bearer for erasure of minorities in their own culture)
>
>Other categories-
>
>Special Black Friend Award: Driving Miss Daisy
>Special Black Friend Award (Magical Category): Legend of
>Bagger Vance
>Special Black Friend Lifetime Achievement Award: Ghost
>
>
>______________________________________________________________________________
>
>"To Each His Reach"
>
>but.....
>
>Fuck aliens.

(by the way, your list is great..by those parameters, no arguments----except: special black friend has to go to Shawshank no?)

i presume the parameters of the original post is: caucasity coming from a (historically) caucastic lane. so i'd illustrate the difference like this:

White Men Can't Jump - works by your parameters

Side Out (obscure, i know..a 90s movie about beach volleyball) - works under the original posts definition

granted Gone With the Wind and It's a Wonderful Life work under both definitions, but that's like saying "the beatles...or beethoven's 5th" as best album openers (c) High Fidelity (yet another subcategory of caucasity?)

than a white movie.

other than white people maybe getting behind Woody's initial hustle, and rant about how white men would rather win than look good, and black men would rather look good than win.

but even that falls apart because Woody's ulitimately such a loser in this movie.(Wes is kinda shiesty but far more self aware)

i dunno, i just don't see it as a movie that kinda big ups whiteness in the way that say Boondock Saints, or Rocky, or white teacher bravely rescues black school movies.

in spite of the whole "you know that 'goofy white guy' everyone from richard pryor to eddie murphy has been making fun of for the past 20 years....surprise! he's suddenly an incredible basketball player beating all black players in this movie!" thing? (also it's written by same guy that did Bull Durham?)

i'll say your point is also validated by woody still losing in the end

There are plenty of skilled, athletic white dudes that can hoop it up, who are just regular ass dudes. That's what Billy is.

The whole hook of the film is that he puts that goofy white guy caricature on as a mask, as part of his hustle.

The fact that cats like Eddie and Richard made fun of a caricature for so long doesn't really make a difference. They made fun of a caricature, and that caricature is a costume Billy puts on as a hustle.

but it's not at all a white movie IMO.

WMCJ is in my all-time Top 5. I love that movie to death. So maybe I've got some blinders on. But Billy Ho's whiteness is definitely central to the setup, but he's a fish out of water here, and despite the commentary within the film, doesn't really veer into the awe shux, look at me being all white around all these Black people! territory.

There's not much whiteness to be found outside of him. And rather than the preachy, smug, white savior flick this would normally be, he doesn't save anyone. He can't even save himself. He's a hustler who meets his match, and they have what is to me a fairly genuine dialogue between these two men of different colors and perspectives. It's two men struggling to make ends meet, both with strong women of color holding them down/keeping them accountable.

That element is what elevates it IMO. I don't really see this approaching Cinematic Caucasity territory.

>Top Gun? Not hardly. Rocky II? eh. Getting there.
>
>Neither of those even scratch the surface of cinematic
>caucasity. Top Gun is just a good old fashioned 80's "american
>fuck yeah!" action flick.
>
>How you gonna have a trinity of cinematic caucasity without
>ONE film that embodies the true essences of cinematic
>caucasity: SAVIOR COMPLEX and MAXIMUM WHITE AGENCY.
>
>So i nominate the following films, not for a trinity, but for
>a council of cinematic caucasity. If there was a Council of
>Elrond for white ass films, these guys would have a seat at
>the table:
>
>1. Dangerous Minds (white saveya!)
>2. It's a Wonderful Life (white cultural idealism)
>3. Gone With The Wind (c'mon.)
>4. Titanic (they even seperated the whites from
>the dirty whites in this one. plus Celine Dion)
>5. Breakfast Club (white adolescent agency to the maxxx!)
>6. Boondock Saints (white guys get guns and decide they're
>gonna set things straight. Sound familiar?)
>7. Pretty Woman (white womenz agency! and fairy tale)
> 7a. The Blind Side (c'mon)
>8. The Help (white saveya! now with 20% more guud whitefolk)
>9. Avatar (black voiced blue guy says let's fight- naw that's
>a bad idea. Jakey Saveya says fight? - RRRAAAWWWRRRRRRR. And
>he gets the choicest blue booty in the trible. C'mon)
> 9a. The Last Samurai (same as above)
>10. The 10 Commandments (c'mon! Still holds cinematic record
>for sheer tonnage of bronzer used. On every Easter. Standard
>bearer for erasure of minorities in their own culture)
>
>Other categories-
>
>Special Black Friend Award: Driving Miss Daisy
>Special Black Friend Award (Magical Category): Legend of
>Bagger Vance
>Special Black Friend Lifetime Achievement Award: Ghost
>
>
>______________________________________________________________________________
>
>"To Each His Reach"
>
>but.....
>
>Fuck aliens.

Like my white card came with an expiration date, or at least some kind of stamp that would never let me in the whitest parties


~~~~~~~~~
"This is the streets, and I am the trap." � Jay Bilas
http://www.popmatters.com/pm/archive/contributor/517
Hip Hop Handbook: http://tinyurl.com/ll4kzz

my favorite actors

dammmnnnn

Roadhouse too

Congratulations on hitting one of the pillars of cinematic Caucasity.

although ironically for most

in Movie Form.


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

Animal House + a grip of Chevy Chase movies

Old white guys in the lunch room quote these movies for days

...

The OG Point Break. An okay at best movie that white people lose their shit over.



And...


Grease. A movie I tried to watch 5 times and couldn't make it through cause it was TOO white.

Every white girl I've ever met loves this movie. I vividly remember being in college and had just finished having sex with this white girl and she wanted to watch this together. I fell asleep. She took it personally.

Grease is an interesting choice, though I hardly care about any musical

Is they at least top 10?

another film that plenty of Black folks like. Not that many of us could identify with some rich white kids borrowing a classic Ferrari from one of their parents as they skip school to break the law by hustling 5 star restaurants and causing a peaceful ruckus through downtown Chicago, but…..

Yeah, Ferris Bueller is pretty freaking WHITE.

https://64.media.tumblr.com/33a335e993d41d2417cad9fe6307203a/tumblr_oy13sjkwTN1teygvgo2_r1_500.gifv

>https://64.media.tumblr.com/33a335e993d41d2417cad9fe6307203a/tumblr_oy13sjkwTN1teygvgo2_r1_500.gifv
>

>

I’m gonna need you to get in the spirit of this thing

and the goddamn Lord of the Rings movies.

the 27 endings of Return of the King is probably the whitest (in terms of aesthetics/themes) shit I've ever seen on film.

I don't speak to provoke. I speak because I think our time is short and each moment that we are not our truest selves, and we say what we do not mean because we imagine that is what somebody wants us to say, is wasting our time on this Earth - C. Adichie

I rewatched the Tom Cruise movies recently and if that shit ain't a white man's fantasy I don't know what is.

It fits but just isn't iconic enough yet. White dudes don't need to go Jack Reacher when they already have Schwartzenegger movies, Rambo, Jason Bourne and James Bond.
______________________________________________________________________________

"To Each His Reach"

but.....

Fuck aliens.

It's at the top. People this Stallone ended the Cold War with that film. I mean the whole movie is peak caucasity with to montages.

Karate kid?
Ferris Bueller?
Back 2 the future?


Anyone ever see Rad?