bro, i read eckhart tolle somewhere between 2010 and 2013.

i'm not new to this, i'm true to this. i've been on the mindful movement since the early aughts. my point is - coping mechanisms are just that - coping mechanisms. they don't deal with the root issues. you can't therapize your way out of poverty. self-help isn't going rectify race issues. there's even an argument to be made that turning inward is self-destructive as it allows all the external bullshit to continue, unchecked.

kendrick. with all his resources. all his money. all his depth. came to the same answer that i did - and he hasn't even really broached what comes next. theoretically - the hereafter is simply enforcing boundaries and flourishing.

theoretically. i made that choice - and *continue* to make that choice. because it's not something you simply decide and it's done. you have to continually work at it.

not all tended gardens flourish, tho.

that's why this album comes across as a gut punch for me. kdot - the light in the dark - said it's too dark; it's too heavy.

he has to protect his flame. and he told us to tend to our own.

and that's cool. i respect it. i made the same choice for my own sanity and health.

but that doesn't mean that i don't miss his warmth.