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Forum nameGeneral Discussion
Topic subjectI know it's Saturday
Topic URLhttp://board.okayplayer.com/okp.php?az=show_topic&forum=4&topic_id=13451581&mesg_id=13451853
13451853, I know it's Saturday
Posted by Krispee, Sat Jan-15-22 09:20 AM
But I couldn't sleep and I'm on my last day of working from home and I'm stressed out, I need to get this out so I can move forward with this dreadful day.

I was my mother's caretaker for over a year when she was ill. I lived with her and took care of her daily needs and with the help of my guy, we got her back to a relatively healthy state. She is now healthy enough to care for her own mother, who is now in the midst of Dementia. My mom shares the duties with her sisters and one of her brothers, each staying overnight with Grandma a couple days a week.

I was glad that I didn't have to be involved with that situation, because Grandma's dementia has made her quite mean and she can get verbally abusive and some rare times, physically abusive. My family is STRESSED OUT.

Yesterday, I get a call from my Mom. My Grandma's sister, who lives a few minutes from my Mom, was found by a neighbor wandering outside in the cold without shoes or a coat and has been talking to people who aren't there... early signs of dementia. Turns out the neighbor has been helping to care for her for quite some time and now it's gotten more serious that she went in and found my Great-Aunt's phonebook and started reaching out to any family she found listed. My mom was reaching out to me, asking me what should she do... UHHH WHY YOU ASKING ME?

I know why she's asking me... because she wants me to handle this situation. My Mom, my Aunts and Uncle do not want to take on this new burden of now caring for two people with dementia. They are all very self-centered and barely want to care for Grandma, so I know this Auntie situation is out of the question.

I barely have contact with my Great-Aunt. She has no children and she is widowed. We don't talk, we are not close and I haven't seen her since 2018, the last family reunion. I spent a couple summer weekends with her back when I was little girl, but that's it. WTF am I gonna do? There's so many things to figure out... who's her doctor, what meds is she on, has she been missing doses, how does she handle her finances, is she able to cook for herself, how does she get groceries, how involved is this neighbor, is she taking advantage of my Great-Aunt and her money, is she gonna be mean like Grandma, will she even let us into her house...

I told my Mom we will stop by and visit her today before I take her to Indiana for her shift at Grandma's house. Mom barely wants to do that.... I was talking to my guy, who helped me take care of my Mom and he straight up asked me, do you want to handle this or be like "fuck her", like your Mom and Aunts seem to feel? I don't wanna say fuck my Great-Aunt... but then again, I do. I don't feel the pull to step up and handle this like I did with my Mom, because... that's my Mother. My mom's situation was totally different and I am able to keep it all the way real and not hold my tongue with her, so I basically dragged her ass back to being healthy, whether she liked it or not.

I tossed and turned all night about this situation... I'm tired AF and I'm dreading to see what's going on in that house today.