13449579, so you said all that to say...never mind lol Posted by ThaTruth, Wed Dec-08-21 07:05 PM
>no problem but suddenly "hooked up"/"hung out with" is too >complicated to decipher lol > >Anyway. To answer your question yes, we had, but I think >context is key. > >When I met him, I was still fairly new to the area and ran >into him a lot bc he worked in my neighborhood. I was also >bartending occasionally for some promoters I'd met and it >turned out one of the spots where they hosted was a frequent >hangout for Nathan-guy and his friends. He'd just kinda look >out for me, tip well, invite me out afterwards, check in about >whether I needed a ride home, etc - and it was on a couple >occasions like that something happened. > >I soon quit bartending altogether and he eventually got a >better job downtown, so the vibe evolved more into him >occasionally checking in or inviting my friends and I out. By >the time he'd noticed my friend, we'd already spent much more >time in a homie vibe than the other vibe (which was never >really courtship/romantic/emotional anyway), and I was >transparent about when and how I knew him to my friend and put >in a good word about his personality. End of the day, I didn't >mind them for each other bc he was actually a decent guy and >upon further thought they had much more in common (eg. both >really into basketball/used to play, extraverted, liked being >out a lot) than he and I ever did. > >I also want to point out that I'd met my then bf at a small >get-together she'd hosted, but for that reason double-checked >(with him first then her) whether they had history or any >other reason not to explore things before agreeing to move >fwd. And during my relationship with that dude, one incident >involved his sibling's wedding which I attended - only to be >propositioned for sex by his very married blood-uncle and hit >on by a guy he'd known since elementary school (who I later >found out was the 10y boyfriend/fiance of a woman good friends >with one of my best friends) simply bc my bf wasn't by my side >every second of the night as a groomsman. > >So just goes to show that the "sloppy seconds" boundary can be >perceived or crossed in a multitude of ways (especially when >dating within a sub-community, like ethnic or religious). And >for me, one of the strongest safeguards against drama is not >necessarily declaring ownership over every single person one's >had chemistry with, but simply acknowledging its propensity to >happen in the first place and moving respectfully, always. >Especially nowadays, like with the deluge of married men >abusing matchmaking apps to cruise for ass, smh. Due >dilligence is basically a must bc you never know whose husband >or ex you could be unknowingly chatting with. > >The one caveat I'll concede to you tho is that Kelly would >have been around Issa and Nathan as a couple, whereas my >friend never knew Nathan-guy and I jointly like that. Any >husband, boyfriend, or fwb of one of my friends immediately >becomes asexual/familial to me as I get to know them too, so >tbf I could never ever be attracted to a guy I only knew >BECAUSE he'd been with my friend. So you raise a fair point. >
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