>no problem but suddenly "hooked up"/"hung out with" is too
>complicated to decipher lol
>
>Anyway. To answer your question yes, we had, but I think
>context is key.
>
>When I met him, I was still fairly new to the area and ran
>into him a lot bc he worked in my neighborhood. I was also
>bartending occasionally for some promoters I'd met and it
>turned out one of the spots where they hosted was a frequent
>hangout for Nathan-guy and his friends. He'd just kinda look
>out for me, tip well, invite me out afterwards, check in about
>whether I needed a ride home, etc - and it was on a couple
>occasions like that something happened.
>
>I soon quit bartending altogether and he eventually got a
>better job downtown, so the vibe evolved more into him
>occasionally checking in or inviting my friends and I out. By
>the time he'd noticed my friend, we'd already spent much more
>time in a homie vibe than the other vibe (which was never
>really courtship/romantic/emotional anyway), and I was
>transparent about when and how I knew him to my friend and put
>in a good word about his personality. End of the day, I didn't
>mind them for each other bc he was actually a decent guy and
>upon further thought they had much more in common (eg. both
>really into basketball/used to play, extraverted, liked being
>out a lot) than he and I ever did.
>
>I also want to point out that I'd met my then bf at a small
>get-together she'd hosted, but for that reason double-checked
>(with him first then her) whether they had history or any
>other reason not to explore things before agreeing to move
>fwd. And during my relationship with that dude, one incident
>involved his sibling's wedding which I attended - only to be
>propositioned for sex by his very married blood-uncle and hit
>on by a guy he'd known since elementary school (who I later
>found out was the 10y boyfriend/fiance of a woman good friends
>with one of my best friends) simply bc my bf wasn't by my side
>every second of the night as a groomsman.
>
>So just goes to show that the "sloppy seconds" boundary can be
>perceived or crossed in a multitude of ways (especially when
>dating within a sub-community, like ethnic or religious). And
>for me, one of the strongest safeguards against drama is not
>necessarily declaring ownership over every single person one's
>had chemistry with, but simply acknowledging its propensity to
>happen in the first place and moving respectfully, always.
>Especially nowadays, like with the deluge of married men
>abusing matchmaking apps to cruise for ass, smh. Due
>dilligence is basically a must bc you never know whose husband
>or ex you could be unknowingly chatting with.
>
>The one caveat I'll concede to you tho is that Kelly would
>have been around Issa and Nathan as a couple, whereas my
>friend never knew Nathan-guy and I jointly like that. Any
>husband, boyfriend, or fwb of one of my friends immediately
>becomes asexual/familial to me as I get to know them too, so
>tbf I could never ever be attracted to a guy I only knew
>BECAUSE he'd been with my friend. So you raise a fair point.
>