the party is being thrown by a friend who runs The Tantra Institute. I've attended his event before and it was truly a wonderful experience

i've been to many other adult play types of experiences through the years, as well.

ask me anything about play parties, if you're curious

d

"But rest assured, in my luxurious house built on the backs of people darker than me, I am sipping fine scotch and scoffing at how stupid you are." - bshelly

What do you think the m/f ratio is and average age of such an event?

https://www.gracejones.com/

>What do you think the m/f ratio is and average age of such an
>event?

At this event, because its more centered around authentic human connection, there will be more women than men. probably 60/40

at most "swing parties", where the goal is just to be fucking wildly and performatively while people watch, its almost always more men than women... 70/30

d


"But rest assured, in my luxurious house built on the backs of people darker than me, I am sipping fine scotch and scoffing at how stupid you are." - bshelly

have you ever attended one of these while partnered? If so, what were your boundaries?

>have you ever attended one of these while partnered? If so,
>what were your boundaries?

yeah with an ex. the only boundary i can remember us discussing is that we wanted to only enjoy play together. like not me going off alone w/someone or him going off alone..that we'd fully share any experience

d



"But rest assured, in my luxurious house built on the backs of people darker than me, I am sipping fine scotch and scoffing at how stupid you are." - bshelly

>yeah with an ex. the only boundary i can remember us
>discussing is that we wanted to only enjoy play together. like
>not me going off alone w/someone or him going off alone..that
>we'd fully share any experience

I've had that rule before. Didn't work out so well for me. How'd it work for you?

>I've had that rule before. Didn't work out so well for me.
>How'd it work for you?

my ex happened to be a lying manipulative cheater, which had nothing to do with the rule itself...the rule isn't the problem..its the person who's promising to follow it and their lack of ability to be honest with themselves and with their partner.

i do what i say i'm gonna do, and if i can't, i talk to the person about it...alot of folks don't know how to do that.

d


"But rest assured, in my luxurious house built on the backs of people darker than me, I am sipping fine scotch and scoffing at how stupid you are." - bshelly

once that party gets started and people get aroused..

nah yo, heard too many horror stories about people that go in with a plan and come out in a jam.

“mess around and het your feelings hurt” - Ray Parker Jr.

>once that party gets started and people get aroused..
>
>nah yo, heard too many horror stories about people that go in
>with a plan and come out in a jam.

that's a people problem and not a party problem.

getting aroused does not remove your ability to make the right choices. people can't just use that as an excuse. if somebody does that, then y'all got bigger problems than the party.

d



"But rest assured, in my luxurious house built on the backs of people darker than me, I am sipping fine scotch and scoffing at how stupid you are." - bshelly

Sometimes that means you're dealing w/a dirtbag
Sometimes it means y'all don't feel comfortable talking about what you REALLY want.
Sometimes it means you don't really know yourself as well as you think you do.

This is Varsity level shit. You gotta come prepared and act accordingly.

>ask me anything about play parties, if you're curious

In the right mood, with the right people, these parties are fun as fuck.

but married

nah.. I’m good

Have us riding home in the car silent af

That's how a lot of people do their 1st party, and frankly that's the way I would recommend.

>but married
>
>nah.. I’m good
>
>Have us riding home in the car silent af

depends on the type of marriage you have. if its one where you don't communicate well about sex and sexuality and your own desires, then yeah silent car ride home

but if its one where you both know the others' fantasies, and enjoy seeing them fulfilled, then its a chatty, excited, lets pull over the side of the rode and quickie again car ride home.

but like folks already said, alot of couples go to these parties and don't interact w/anyone sexually...its like live porn to them, and that's cool too

d

"But rest assured, in my luxurious house built on the backs of people darker than me, I am sipping fine scotch and scoffing at how stupid you are." - bshelly

>but married
>
>nah.. I’m good
>
>Have us riding home in the car silent af

on god.

"you want" is the most important part though

there's no pressure to do anything at all. if you want to just watch, you can do that. if you want to BE watched, and not physically interact w/anyone, you can do that too.

The point is, its a space of freedom & consent.

What I love about my friend's parties, is that we spend time discussing and practicing requests, consent, denials, negotiation etc in a closed "container" (meaning, by a certain time, no one else can come in, and once you leave, you can't re-enter) before any play occurs...he builds trust and mutual understanding/connection during a ceremony called a puja.

then once its "free play" time, it goes how it goes...but its very respectful of everyone present

he also has a caterer onsite, who makes fruit salads and other body-friendly small bites...there's also usually cacao to drink, and other soft drinks, but no alcohol.

d

"But rest assured, in my luxurious house built on the backs of people darker than me, I am sipping fine scotch and scoffing at how stupid you are." - bshelly

>What I love about my friend's parties, is that we spend time
>discussing and practicing requests, consent, denials,
>negotiation etc in a closed "container" (meaning, by a certain
>time, no one else can come in, and once you leave, you can't
>re-enter)

That right there, is GENIUS, and I'm shocked I never thought of it before. Totally stealing it.

>he also has a caterer onsite, who makes fruit salads and
>other body-friendly small bites...there's also usually cacao
>to drink, and other soft drinks, but no alcohol.

I've never understood this at some parties. No alcohol, no weed... I mean, they are lubricants (social) They can help.

>
>>What I love about my friend's parties, is that we spend time
>>discussing and practicing requests, consent, denials,
>>negotiation etc in a closed "container" (meaning, by a
>certain
>>time, no one else can come in, and once you leave, you can't
>>re-enter)
>
>That right there, is GENIUS, and I'm shocked I never thought
>of it before. Totally stealing it.

please do!


>I've never understood this at some parties. No alcohol, no
>weed... I mean, they are lubricants (social) They can help.
>

the point is to not need any kind of social lubricant/help..to learn to exist in your natural state..confident, free, powerful...or nervous, anxious...whatever you are, you are perfect in that state. and in time, you'll get comfortable and more relaxed as you CONNECT to other humans who respect you exactly as you are.

d

"But rest assured, in my luxurious house built on the backs of people darker than me, I am sipping fine scotch and scoffing at how stupid you are." - bshelly

have fun tho

We working on year 2 now, right? Pressure bust pipes, fam.

until its shit they want to do.

all a sudden people get real lax and defensive


This includes myself. I always see football games packed now and think about the pandemic. But I paid good money to watch my Steelers get their ass kicked.

We were masked up but most people weren’t.

I think we are at a point where we have to live our life and hope for the best.

I think this is where we at. I'm still wearing my mask. Haven't been to a movie theatre since the panny hit, and likely won't go back anytime soon, but after the shot I started going back to bars. (socially distanced of course) I'm largely working out at home and not at the gym.

Like you said, there's shit I'm willing to give up, and shit I ain't.

mrs be on my HEAD about being careful.. let it be some crowded shit see wanna see smh haha.

there are ways to mitigate & reduce covid risks w/events, which we've all learned by now

-guests are fully vaxxed and can wear masks if they choose to
-rapid testing
-not showing up sick
-keeping the guest list small

and yes, thanks i'll have alot of fun

d


"But rest assured, in my luxurious house built on the backs of people darker than me, I am sipping fine scotch and scoffing at how stupid you are." - bshelly

first you say above that you don't want to know

then that you're married and ya'll don't get down like that

now its asking about some rudimentary ass "mid pump"

clearly your ideas around sex and sexuality are still living in the "what base did you get to? kee kee" era so this might not be the post for you, my dude.

d

"But rest assured, in my luxurious house built on the backs of people darker than me, I am sipping fine scotch and scoffing at how stupid you are." - bshelly

I’m being serious

its something I know I wouldn’t do but I’m curious if there is some type if “contract” when it comes to pleasuring a person.

Do you have to finish what you start or can you move on if you aren’t feeling it and see something more interesting.

>I’m being serious

and that's why i asked. if you're serious, then yeah, ask away

>its something I know I wouldn’t do but I’m curious if
>there is some type if “contract” when it comes to
>pleasuring a person.

>Do you have to finish what you start or can you move on if you
>aren’t feeling it and see something more interesting.

this is addressed and practiced during the opening conversation. its definitely ok to decide that you no longer want to continue something or that you want the interaction to shift in some way. from what i remember, he encouraged us to say something along the lines of "can we try something different"..but i can't remember the exact phrasing

but yes this is extremely important. if at any time, your consent changes, its important to let the other person know. and they will be fine with it because that's a part of the sacred container that was agreed upon before the play party began

d


"But rest assured, in my luxurious house built on the backs of people darker than me, I am sipping fine scotch and scoffing at how stupid you are." - bshelly

Or are people going raw?

at least in my experience.

>Or are people going raw?

its whatever is agreed upon between those 2 (or more) people.

d


"But rest assured, in my luxurious house built on the backs of people darker than me, I am sipping fine scotch and scoffing at how stupid you are." - bshelly

"But rest assured, in my luxurious house built on the backs of people darker than me, I am sipping fine scotch and scoffing at how stupid you are." - bshelly

i haven't even been to any indoor concerts since they reopened venues

2019 fall was the last time I was at one and it was star trek themed and a bit too nerdy for my tastes lol


--------
<--------- my cousin
www.richardlouissaint.com
photobloggin' it:
http://blog.richardlouissaint.com

i am all about the nyc mandates for requiring vaccinations for being indoors with other people.

once you leave those borders it's up to whomever. wild to see movie theatres in long island not have any requirements in their spaces versus NYC movies
--------
<--------- my cousin
www.richardlouissaint.com
photobloggin' it:
http://blog.richardlouissaint.com

its indoors at an NYC hotel so that's the general requirement to even enter the building

he's also requiring a rapid test the day before.

--------
<--------- my cousin
www.richardlouissaint.com
photobloggin' it:
http://blog.richardlouissaint.com

"Chappelle is now a wealthy cishet Black man with little else to offer to his audiences, but low-hanging uninformed fruit. And cishets who claim LGBTQ+ have too thin a skin also lack the range to confront their own prejudices in a meaningful way."

If you wouldn't mind a detailed run down of the events for the inquiring minds, it'd be apperciated.

;-)

I'm curious none the less.

in a good way of course…


true story, we were in Cincinnati and my wife came back from the bathroom and said ole girl in the bathroom said “Brad is mad at me, like OMG, whatever Brad, just take me home and take it out on my crotch!”

"I don't speak to provoke. I speak because I think our time on Earth is short and each moment that we are not our truest selves, each moment we say what we do not mean because we imagine that is what somebody what's us to say, then we are wasting our time

originally it was supposed to be held in a hotel suite at the W in Times Square, but at the last minute, it got changed to this FABULOUS huge multilevel apartment in Brooklyn...that's where they had it the last time i went and there is waaay more room to spread out there..multiple rooms, tubs, showers, nooks and crannies...a perfect space for a party of this nature...plus there were only about 20 people in attenddance so there was plenty of room for everyone

on arrival, folks were getting checked in, some went to change into comfy and/or sexy clothing etc...there was music playing and snacks out in the open kitchen..fruits, cookies, cheese etc..people were mingling, greeting each other and chatting, touring the space etc

after about an hour, we were summoned to sit in a circle and do introductions. my friend, the host, introduced the event and explained that the point of the evening was to tap into your own desires and get comfortable with asking for and receiving them...and that desires can take any form...sexual or nonsexual ones and that everyone was 100%
at choice at all times.

then each person in the circle introduced themselves and stated what they had to offer this evening, and what they desired for the evening. those who were new mostly kept it G rated "i can offer hugs and listening, and i desire connection, intimacy, to be seen" etc...previous attendees were a bit more explicit about their desires or stated that they were down for anything...the point of this is it allows others to seek out folks who expressed desires that they're willing to fulfill..one guy said he wanted to feel breasts all over his body so multiple women sought him out to oblige him later on

there was one woman there who was visibly emotional as she had never been in such a welcoming and loving sexual space like this before and had never given herself permission to enjoy sex...when she shared her story, everyone was really supportive of her

there was also a lovely older indian dude there who is an expert at BDSM play (he's a dom) and he offered to hold space for a BDSM station in the back where anyone could either do a scene with him, or he could facilitate a couple in BDSM play (there were two couples there), and invited anyone to watch and be voyeurs..he had this really calm loving spirit and is a regular at these events. he never gets naked tho..he keeps his clothes on when he doms

the next part was the puja ceremony where the women made a circle facing out and the men made a circle around them facing in...that way each woman was in front of a man. the host led us through a series of exercises to get us comfortaable with asking for our desire, hearing and saying yes, or hearing and saying no, or negotiating a different interaction than the one requested...with each practice, we'd rotate to a different person..practice eye gazing, hugs, body gazing...then the final exercise was giving & receiving a massage with the person in front of you, which naturally led to the play part of the event, because by that point, may people had taken off their clothes

my final partner happened to be a woman (because i went to the restroom during the puja and when i came back, i just stood in a masculine spot to rebalance the numbers lol) but it worked out perfectly because i ended up giving her a sensual massage on her breasts etc..she was so gorgeous omg

then her and i ended up finding a semi-private spot to play...when i'm with a woman, it definitely brings out more of my masculine energy, especially with her being so incredibly feminine and curvy...i had a really amazing time with her and there were people coming by to watch us etc lol

at one point, i went upstairs to watch some BDSM play, i hung out in the hot tub with a few folks chatting and laughing, had a really nice cuddle session with someone who just wanted to be held...

it was just so freaking chill and dope and relaxed...then we did a circle again to close it out and folks talked about what they got out of the evening...

so yeah, that's the jist.

d

"I don't speak to provoke. I speak because I think our time on Earth is short and each moment that we are not our truest selves, each moment we say what we do not mean because we imagine that is what somebody what's us to say, then we are wasting our time

Did you dress? If so, what did you dress up as?

Did others dress up? If so, what was the best costume?

>Did you dress? If so, what did you dress up as?

i decided not to do a costume since I had such a small window to get ready between finishing work and getting to Brooklyn ontime from NJ..it was a Friday evening 630pm event..so I just brought a cute/sexy robe to wear.

>Did others dress up? If so, what was the best costume?

a few folks dressed up..one lady was Cruella, a couple showed up as Mario & Luigi, which was really cute..they were my favorite..the host wore a knight costume, i think (he was wearing a chainmail shirt)...there were angels and devils

so i guess i'll give it to Mario & Luigi for the win lol

d


"I don't speak to provoke. I speak because I think our time on Earth is short and each moment that we are not our truest selves, each moment we say what we do not mean because we imagine that is what somebody what's us to say, then we are wasting our time

People should be more sex positive. We put waaaay too much negative into something that should enhance life. Even when people get it regularly, it's like it's just something to do and not something to savor.

Your friend (the organizer) has a good format. I'd think major keys at these would be to keep a manageable crowd, let people feel free to roam but still have some structure and make the interactions increasingly intimate but comfortable...which he nails.

Glad you enjoyed yourself and thanks for sharing!

i like how the organizer introduced people to each other before the party began.
--------
<--------- my cousin
www.richardlouissaint.com
photobloggin' it:
http://blog.richardlouissaint.com