I don't think quicksand is even possible in my life, but it freaks me out.

Poll question: what's your irrational fear?

Poll result (9 votes) Quicksand!! (1 votes) Vote Other (8 votes) Vote

A 2 hour plus YouTube hole got me scared to death of them.

Lots of rabbit holes

*Aaron Paul yelling meme*

falling down stairs period but escalators really make me nervous

Got all kinds of scrapes from it. I had to grab him before it just ate him up. Makes me jittery thinking about it.

I need to get back to that feeling

As in physical or starting a disagreeable discussion?

it's a multipart issue that includes

- flexible boundaries
- agency
- confidence
- locus of control

it's not physical confrontation that gets me, in a sense, I could take punches to the head and serve punches to the head until the cows come home

HOWEVER

verbal confrontation is where I just shut down. I close the piano and leave the bar.

What does it look like?

- Not always saying what I want. ex: "it ain't you, I need space to be alone."

- Not saying what I need. ex: "don't talk to me like that"

- Not saying how I feel. ex: "I don't want to do that"

- And then combining all three attributes and just shouldering way WAY too much stuff. MOST people will say "I'm having a hard time, I don't know how to handle this". Instead, I will just carry it all and look mad crazy like: https://i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/facebook/000/019/484/n08A8NO.jpg

friend: Yooooooooo. You aight bro?
Me: ughphYEAH. Just....life....stuff....ya know...

- "Protecting" people, that is, the act of thinking you are doing people favors by not speaking to share how I really feel - like say, your friend borrows something from you and they return it in worse condition, but you also know this friend lost a wife, job and parent in the past year, so rather than talk about the issue, you just let it go and think "If I brought it up, they wont be able to handle it"

- Not telling people to fuck the absolute off when it absolutely is necessary. I would rather suplex and body slam a person if it means being faced with having to use words to say "you need to absolutely fuck off"

- Not always stating who I am. There is a dynamic with certain profiles where I am identified and put in a box by them. And, rather than absolutely correct them on their bullshit, I just let it go.

Them: Thats the kind of shit someone like you, a TOTAL artsy fartsy person would think. Logic isn't your thing I see.

Me: Uh, ok.

fear of hurting someone else's feeling becomes more important than taking care of yourself. for some, that sacrifice is ok at times. folks tend to take advantage and then make you feel guilty if you say no or tell them to fuck off.

I've gotten better at, particularly with family. I could always be honest with them, but I would try to help in situations and would get worn out. taking too much tijme away from my own household.

like multiple people asking for time and money. nah cuz, I'm busy or just nope.

because, after understanding the subject and how people react to things, I've learned that the pendulum can be swung the other way and then work has to be done to reach an optimal mid point.

if at first you have soft boundaries but then you realize you don't want to be stepped on, taken advantage of, or hurt then you do the opposite.

the opposite would be rigid boundaries which pose a counterintuitive danger. Being overly vigilant and protective means missing out on connecting with people, being a risk for isolation, and alienating others. Vulnerability and sharing is how humans bond, if you can't do that then you're not going to go far.

It's a give and take balance that takes patience and work to develop if you were not raised in a home that allowed development of healthy boundaries

It has to be fluid. Situational even. Can’t always be all or nothing. And those connections are important in all aspects of life.

or people will continue to take advantage of our kindness

especially at work.

Constant battle of doing something to be nice and it now becoming your responsibility.

I try to set expectations early, especially around work stuff so they don’t come to crazy. Works most of the time.

reading your explanation i can definitely relate. i am not physically violent so i wouldnt ever snap on someone like that but i do think when i let it out im blunt and maybe combined with it not being expected it comes off more rough than it should be.

my latest example of just holding it in was with my coworker. shes been keeping the office unreasonably warm. i deal with it until i cant. i then turn on the ac and dont put it on too cold because um im not trying to make it uncomfortable for her. still sometimes she instantly puts on a blanket and starts fake coughing. one day i came back from lunch and the air was blowing hard. it got a bit cold but i figured if she set it lower then who am i to raise it up. when she left i checked it and it was down to 62. lowest i ever set it is on 67 and thats because the ac is not reliable and thats in eco mode. so i raised it up.

a few days later she sends me an email saying that we need to do something about the climate in the office. saying that i like to have the room too cold and thats shes offered me a fan. talking about she wants to come to an agreement before telling the boss. i wanted to snap. instead i decided to ignore it. since she working somewhere else i decided im going to actually mess with the AC for once.

i changed it to cool instead of eco and turned it to 71 instead of the supposed 70 she sets it to. still fuming inside because shes so inconsiderate with her office behavior but i dont say anything i just deal with it. i wanted to reply to the email and mention how distracting it is to hear her have private conversations on speakerphone or turn the volume to max when shes in a conference call instead of using headphones. or heck even playing music.

instead i didnt say a thing until she asked me if i saw the email. i then explained that the unit probably doesnt work well on eco and if its comfortable how it is now, 71 on cool, then im good with that. weve kept it on there since. i could go a degree or two lower but its reasonable as is. i didnt mention anything about her phone calls.

she said she didnt turn it to 62 that day. the day it was 62 i asked a different coworker and he said he didnt. not sure what happened there. in my head i think she did for snap. probably recorded herself trying to say that i keep it too cold. i remember overhearing her complain to someone on the phone a few weeks before when i had headphones on.

as a whole shes like 70% of why i dont like working here. the days she works from home (thats a whole other thing) im actually happy at work..until i have to do some of her work since shes "working" from home. still i think id rather do her work than have her come in lol

i gotta push myself to say something about the phone calls though. im pretty sure she does conference calls on speaker because she puts them on mute and is on the phone with ear buds on personal calls during. interested to hear her excuse though.

also being out in public somewhere and my johnson is sticking out of my fly and then people thinking I'm a flasher

came a looooong way with the pub speaking thg

Elevator falling (had some scares so not that irrational)

>Elevator falling (had some scares so not that irrational)

ANYTIME I'm in an elevator and stuff feels even kinda shaky, I'm horrified.

More than that, I hate any kind of bridge that moves and/or bounces a lot when I walk across it. Resorts in Mexico stay having jackass bridges like those. Hate em.

>I don't think quicksand is even possible in my life, but it
>freaks me out.

I be paying hella attention when folks give those instructions right before takeoff. I also look around me and think 'who else is listening right now? That's who I'm rolling with if anything goes sideways here'.

Of course, I've been lucky and nothing crazy has gone down with me on a plane. I haven't even dealt with any no-mask tomfoolery this year and I've flown a few times.

>>I don't think quicksand is even possible in my life, but it
>>freaks me out.
>
>I be paying hella attention when folks give those instructions
>right before takeoff. I also look around me and think 'who
>else is listening right now? That's who I'm rolling with if
>anything goes sideways here'.
>
>Of course, I've been lucky and nothing crazy has gone down
>with me on a plane. I haven't even dealt with any no-mask
>tomfoolery this year and I've flown a few times.

Worst way to die imo.

Actually, I’m not really afraid of falling in, since it’s so unlikely. I guess I’m afraid of CLIMBING in, since most of the people who died this way climbed in purposefully, which has to make it even worse to contemplate as you are asphyxiating (if you’re lucky), roasting (if you’re somewhat less lucky) or dying of thirst (if really unlucky).

>Worst way to die imo.
>
>Actually, I’m not really afraid of falling in, since it’s
>so unlikely. I guess I’m afraid of CLIMBING in, since most
>of the people who died this way climbed in purposefully, which
>has to make it even worse to contemplate as you are
>asphyxiating (if you’re lucky), roasting (if you’re
>somewhat less lucky) or dying of thirst (if really unlucky).

not sure why but they are the one animal that scares the shit out of me if they all said fuck it, lets attack.

cant run or out climb them little sum bitches

they'll fuck up your house and give you rabies.

with that said, I went to Amicalola Falls. there was a squirrel that actually ate out our hands. didn't try to run away or bite.

someone had somehow trained it to be cool with people.

The irrational part is thinking that some group of Mean Girl teens would be like “Eww, somebody STANK!”

I know very few have this same fear because over this pandemic period I’ve heard:
“This product is for people like me who don’t like to take baths that often.”
“I never wash my legs”
“Can we all agree that we all wear our underwear 10 times before washing them?”

Also, brown recluse spiders and flesh eating bacteria.

Nothing too serious, but driving through Wyoming I remember being surprised that I had a slight unsettled feeling looking at them. It's not like I am against wind power. I'm thinking maybe something about it seemed alien to me? Like what it would look like if aliens used giant machines to terraform our planet? Pret-tay, pret-tay stupid.

i know they can't do anything but if it's coming my way i dip like its a murder hornet

they look like the carry people away to their dragon lair.

they're so chill and steady with it

flying beetles are loud and clumsy and bumping into shit

There's no warning with sinkholes. You start falling and never stop.

I've flown so much I'm over it. Give me a train with wifi, weapons, and rations any day over a flight.

White terrorists are the worst.

i'm scared to hold them

They weird af with those funny shaped heads.

Imagine a 6 foot mantis

I’m so much bigger than a spider, but if I see one, I’m calling my husband to kill it. It’s like I refuse to see the obvious physical advantage my punk ass has over this thing that weighs less than a dime.

I need to see anything coming

I was in the the bay area in Cali. plane landed and it was already dark. the road to the hotel was long, twisty, and dark af. I thought it was just a poorly lit area.

woke up the next morning and realized I was driving next to water the whole time.

I use to be so scared of this when turning down guys advances on the street. Especially if the guy was really aggressive. I would think "oh no he is going to throw acid on me" i would panic and run away and hide.

> I would think "oh no he is going to throw acid on me" i would
>panic and run away and hide.

for a minute there were stories in the news of dickheads dropping shit from bridges into oncoming traffic like rocks and bricks. im lowkey kinda still shook about it.

speed limit 55, I’m doing 80 with the windows down if there’s water below.

- burning to death is my greatest fear.

not sure how all it happened, but I remember him panicking an running, which made it worse.

scariest shit ever, burning while alive.

there's to grab hold of because you're wet and nowhere to land softly.

none of this is really problem unless I'm showering with the wife. even if we're only showering, still having to move a lot makes the whole thing janky.

in my teenage years I had a fear of even doing it by accident, totally irrational but what made me have it was a story a church girl told me about how she did it without lubing and how much it hurt both her and the guy. probably also because of some horrible scare tactic teaching they gave us in middle school "family life" classes.

y'all remember when Tom Dubois on The Boondocks was scared of going to jail, out of fear of being raped? it wasn't THAT bad but I was shook for a while.

Every time I drive across a bridge over deep water, this is in the back of my mind.

Darned childhood imagination that never went away.

Like after I trim the tree or pick fruit from the garden. In my mind i'm like what if that tree or plant made a noise when you pruned it.