What makes marriage so hard now?

What about marriage in our era makes things so much more difficult?

I have dated two divorced men. Both were very nice and seemed like they were good partners, but they expected me to check in on them, and make sacrifices that were unnecessary in my opinion.

For example, Divorced guy 1 thought we should talk on the phone every night or at least text every day. That was not needed for me to stay connected. He also expressed a need for a "teammate". In his words, that entailed supporting him through a family member's health crisis. I had compassion but he really needed a therapist to vent to. I don't see that as my role in a relationship.

Divorced guy 2 resented his ex-wife's success. She really was the brains behind the operation. He tried to match her swag but he could never make enough money, get his life in order to move into a bigger house or level up. I realized he really depended on women to upgrade him. His ex-wife got exhausted and rolled out. This impacted our relationship because he felt insecure about not being at a certain stage in life by his age.

Most married people like partnership and put in work to sustain it. Most divorced people like the benefits of partnership but don't seem to match the efforts of the other partner.