through a divorce. That’s about 15 guys who I keep in contact with. Not all my friends have a solid relationship and several have experienced a rough patch or two. With that said, I don’t anticipate that many of them divorcing. My dad is one of 6, my mom is one of 7. Only 2 aunt/uncles experienced divorce. I have at least a dozen cousins who’ve been married, very few divorced. It’s just not common in my family. I think I naively thought my marriage could be saved - even though I deserved better. I would never advocate for divorce, but my experience tells me that it absolutely can be the optimal decision with some couples.

Myself?? My ex had an epiphany at age 34 that she’s a lesbian. As you can probably assume, the relationship deteriorated very quickly. Anyway, that was a pretty major irreconcilable difference that we had no solution for. There were some heated arguments that ensued, but we mostly kept it very amicable and civil. I had to set my ego aside and do what was best for my kids. We actually went through a mediator and worked out the terms very quickly. While it pained me to have to split the kids 50/50 due to her deception, I accepted the fact that they need their mom in their life and fighting for anything more would be a waste of time and money.

There was a lot of pain in the process. I was with my ex for 10+ years. It’s hard to just move on - regardless if you know it’s what’s best. The pain I felt in breaking the news to my kids (just turned 7 & 4) is a moment I never want to relive.

Flash forward 3+ years later, I could not have envisioned how great things have worked out for us. We are friends and communicate often...mostly about our kids. She loves my fiancé (not like that!). I never stopped being family to hers. They still love me.

My fiancé? I count my blessings each day because the love and bond we share is special. As much as I loved my ex, the love I now feel for my fiancé is on a whole other level. It seems surreal. My kids adore her too.

Not sure where I’m going with this, but that relationships are extremely tough and no one should feel trapped just to keep up appearances. If you divorce on amicable terms and remain civil, then there’s no reason why you need to sever all ties.