aye man, feels are reals. I am starting to learn this one.

you could be on the ball, being a loving and present person, but if the FEELINGS of things is off, then there is a whole other battle at hand and that battle might be related to something you can do. Sometimes, that sort of stuff is on your partner's side of the fence. (for the other readers, no, I am not suggesting giving up and saying "thats yo shit!" - but, there is a line that can be crossed where things enter a potentially toxic area where you are overly responsible for your partner's happiness)


I'm a man and that may come with a different set of societal expectations, buuuut, I'm right here dealing with self esteem bullshit from childhood. My wife really really really wishes I could see me the way she sees me, but it's deep work. All the "you're so great!" statements just slide off.

You know what its like? It's like being colorblind and having no sense of smell and everyone around you says

"FUCK. you have got to smell these gotdamn roses. these red motherfuckers right here are the best goddamn smellinest ass red roses. take a whiff my dude."

you know you can't smell them, you know that they are red, so to appease everyone, you lean over take a whiff and say

"yeah, mmm, yeah, red smells good. uh huh."


goddamn, being a human is a slog.