but was there reason to think she got singled out and treated differently? It wouldn't surprise me if that was the case, and that would definitely suck, but if that happens to everyone using non-inclusive language I think it's not necessarily unfair.

FWIW I think reporting people to HR for use of slightly inappropriate language is doing too much, but if that's the policy and they're not selective on when it's enforced, there's not really much else to say.