Reading the stories in the article (and some in the replies) all feels familiar to me, but not in a personal anecdotal way as much as a culture that I have often observed but never felt was my own.

Reflecting on my own life, I realize that (and these two things may be intertwined so it’s kinda like a “chicken or the egg” thing):

1) I am generally by default a pretty vulnerable person, so I’ve never really felt entrapped by the confining walls of stereotypical masculinity (also have consistently kept many women as friends). I think that having that vulnerability generally attracts others (and keeps you attracted to others) who are more genuine and open as far as what you talk about, how you communicate, etc.

and 2) so much of my life and its activities have been based on creative goals.

From music to more recent forays into other territories in the entertainment industry, I have generally encountered and found common ground with other men who find themselves on a similar journey...and the relationships (while definitely driven by what has been mentioned above as some “what can we do for each other”) require a bit more interpersonal connection...I think the trials and tribulations of building something (an album, a tour, a tv show, any kind of creative project really) are all essentially “formative experiences” and they subsequently def help you learn more about one another, rely on each other, and reinforce a tighter bond. You’re working towards an extremely challenging but also gratifying goal, TOGETHER.

I can imagine that there must be some of this for the “we all drink beer on Thursdays/we love watching this team” squad...but my gut (and limited personal experience) tells me that it just isn’t quite as deep. And like I said before, I don’t know if the process of going through this journey made me more vulnerable, or if being naturally vulnerable led me to seek out these experiences.

That said, I’ve had people drift and sometimes they return, sometimes they don’t. I have some friends I’ve kept up with for 25 years, some who I met in college, and even some post-college but I will say that it def feels a bit more challenging to create NEW tight bonds in my 30s than it did in more “formative experience” chapters of my life.