On most weekends, on at least one out of Friday and Saturday, me, him and my daughter will camp out and go to sleep while watching movies.

At around 2 am, he starts screaming, "DADDY THERE'S A SPIDER ON YOUR BELLY!"

So I wake up, and slapped the shit out of my stomach, and started looking for the spider.

I look over, and he's hiding under a sheet, crying.

I'm thinking he's scared, so I tell him, it's ok papa, the spider's gone. Now his voice is cracking, so I'm thinking he's extra scared. I pull the sheet off of him to give him a hug... and he's fucking laughing.

Hysterically.

Then he says GOT YOU!!!! and points at me.

I'm still half asleep and didn't quite get it.

My daughter jumps up from the side of the bed, starts cracking up, me telling me that he pranked me.

I told her that I hated her, and that I was dropping her little brother off at the firestation the next day.

She shrugged and said, "eh. you win some, you lose some."

They both had exactly zero fucks to give about it, and it was hilarious to me.