He produced a lot of songs on my first project “When Morning Comes”. We worked together for a few years and started dating in 2002. I lived with him for 5 years. My life was music constantly. He would wake up make a beat and I would write and record. Sometimes he made three beats but every day he made at least one. It was the most exciting thing in the world to live with your Muse. But we were both so intensely into each other that it wasn’t healthy because we had no limits. We loved hard and there was no buffer. We were always on 10! When it was good it was great, when it was bad it was tragic. When we split finally we didn’t speak for 5 years. I reached out to him through email and he replied and we said our sorry’s through replies and then he died a few months later. I was devastated I didn’t speak to him in person but it was one of those relationships where when it ended we had to be apart because we were so intensely close. I didn’t go the the funeral. I couldn’t. My son was a few months old and I was dating his father who always told me I had never gotten over him. In retrospect I believe I never have had closure because I didn’t see him laid to rest. I used to document lots of the times we spent together. Riding to Plan 9, sitting and talking, working on music, etc. I have never loved that hard with anyone and never want to love that hard again. All the moments we shared just the two of us and now I’m left holding all those memories with no one to share them with. I always thought I’d have time to reflect on our past together later in life. It’s bittersweet.


... "A Beautiful Struggle"
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MELa
Musically.Entertaining.Lyrically.Alluring.