First thing is for you to get/read this book called Radical Candor. It changed the way i manage people, as well as give and receive feedback from those that report to me, and people I report to. It will really give you a good framework on how to approach these kinds of conversations in the workplace..

cuz ultimately, she's right about one thing: communication.

You have to find a way to ask for what you need from her as a manager in a way that makes her want to give it to you.

You also need to find a way to communicate to your team in a way that inspires them to want to work together well.

2nd, There's this concept that you may find useful...its called "launching" a team...its an intentional process you go through, either formally or informally, where you set the parameters with your team around how you're going to communicate with each other, divide work tasks, measure success, and know when you're finished.

This may be a mechanism to work better with your colleagues even if your manager isn't setting clear direction.

Again, communicating this is tricky cuz you're not their boss and you don't want to come off like you know shit and they don't.

I hope this was a little bit helpful.

d