For most of my life, I have been some what of an introvert, or should I say half-introvert, half-extrovert.

There are times where I communicate and converse with any and everyone about any and everything. But then there are times where I need to recharge, or I need to be silent and be alone with my thoughts, or just need time to myself to discover, explore,etc.

I have never had any problems with acquiring friends or networking. I was well known in high school and throughout, but I have never felt particularly close with anyone, or needing to be close to anyone. I'm the youngest on my mother side out of three children, and I was somewhat raised from a distance, having to figure out a lot of things on my own at a very early age.

My perception on life was, hey, as long as I eat well, keep healthy, stay athletic ( runner, swimmer and cycling for most of my life), maintain my humanness and humanity, and possess a great job I should be able to make it until the age of 70...So, even though ,in most of my intimate relationships, I was a good guy and a good boyfriend, I never really cared about the relationships being short term or long term. Next thing you know, life goes by, and I'm 40 something years old with no kids or marriage ( I did get married at the age of 18, but then immediately annulled).

I say all of this because up until this year life was great, but then I incurred a serious medical condition due to a traumatic fall. And now I found myself needing assistance of others, and being limited in certain physical situations. It's a very eye opening situation,and it made me come to the realization that no matter how stable you are, or how strong you are, that can all change in a blink of an eye.

It really is tough to trust people, because they may not be as humane as you or have the ability to be logical or reasonable. So many people are wrapped up in their beliefs and dogmas, that simple human communication and interaction gets disregarded.

Solitary animals don't survive as long as animals who are part of a community or pride. That pretty much goes for all organisms. I don't think females have this issue as much as males. And for men, I don't know if it is nature or nuture, or both.

End rant.

Felt.

The age thing especially.
I get legit jealous of some folks that have large pool of friends to call on.




"Get ready....for your blessing....."
"Bury me by my Grand-Grand and when you can come follow me"

Yeah. I thought had a good pool of friends. I helped others with no bias , but that's not always returned.

I can honestly say I got life all wrong in that department. The key is to build a GOOD family and protect your own. That is true survival, just like out in the wild.

we really have to go thru things before getting it.

speaking of, my ex is AMAZING professionally but, as a lover....God awful

>I say all of this because up until this year life was great,
>but then I incurred a serious medical condition due to a
>traumatic fall. And now I found myself needing assistance of
>others, and being limited in certain physical situations. It's
>a very eye opening situation,and it made me come to the
>realization that no matter how stable you are, or how strong
>you are, that can all change in a blink of an eye.
>

there but for the grace of....

hope it gets easier if not better.

I’ve always had a deep roster of friends and fam but I’m Charlotte? Not so much.

I know people... but I don’t KNOW people.

I think as we get older it’s much harder to make new friends who you can really count on. Also sucks that one of my cool friends passed away 2 years ago.

My wife and I have this problem when it comes to baby sitters or friendly gatherings. We don’t know anyone besides work friends or bar buddies. Thankfully my wife works with a ton of Black women at Charlotte Ballet and they all have kids sound the same age as ours so they should have a nice circle of friends if we stay here.

I just think once you get to 40 you aren’t going to start over with friendships... really have to have those in place by now or luck up and befriend a local who has a good circle in place.

he's the only child. both parents passed away from cancer in their late 50s. and he took a blood test that he's likely to get cancer in his 40s or 50s.

he's not from a big extended family. a cousin here and cousin there. rarely he visits any family member cuz he never grew up around them.

anyway, he reached out to me and another close friend, if something was to ever happen to him we would settle his affairs such as bank accounts, life insurance, house, cars, pets, etc. he actually bought a book from Barnes and Noble that said "I'm Dead, Now what?" and it categorize everything from who's the Power of Atty to cremation or burial.

my cousin and I are the same age. she's had 3 strokes, diabetes, and her blood pressure is always super high. she can barely be understood when she's talking. its so hard watching people deteriorate so early in life. not even 50 yet.

I've had 3 knee surgeries and remember how much extra work it put on my wife. the kids were smaller, so she was doing the most. kids could help now if something happened, but I hope they don't have that level of weight to bare anytime soon.

No health issues at this time thankfully but same age group, same deal on the introvert/extrovert thing, same deal on relationships

I have a tiny family which is basically now 2 seniors who I care for daily. There are good and bad days but as they age it really only goes in one direction and only gets harder. I live within walking distance but may have to give up my spot at some point.

Caring for them is also a daily reminder that I have no one to do the same for me when I get old or sick. I have a few really great friends who are basically family to me. One is disabled since his late 20s and his big family has been like my second family. I'm terrible about asking people for help though. I absolutely hate burdening others, when people help out I'm extra grateful but also really uncomfortable. Anything I can do myself I will, and im also not one to get into/stay in a relationship just out of fear of being alone.

Hang in there, man. Hope your medical condition improves

..bring it back, come rewind! © Busta Rhymes




*skatin' the rings of saturn*


..and miles to go before i sleep...