There's no right way to grieve as Brew and others have said.

Like you, I internalize more than I express. But if you can, try talking to someone about your feelings. If not your wife then a friend or a relative you trust. If talking about it still feels too much, you could try an audio or typed journal to work through your thoughts and feelings.

Also, there are support groups for people going through losing a loved one from cancer or other illnesses. You may want to tap into one of those. Even if you don't share anything, they're good ways to learn from others how to cope with grief.

Finally, spirituality, if you have a relationship with God, The Creator or whatever you connect with on a spiritual or philosophical level can give solace and guidance during grief. I don't know if you're religious, but even if you aren't there are many pastors, priests(esses), teachers who have written timely books on grief and loss. One of them may help you during this time.

I know the last thing you may want to do in a time like this is to open up and be vulnerable and lose control but ironically it is the best way to handle your justifiably strong and confusing emotions.