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>I was single and so were they


Single people interacting who are attracted to each other is different than partnered people interacting where at least one person is NOT attracted, no?

I guess I'm just still not even seeing what would be in it for your girl to fall so aggressively for this dude, lol. Especially if she's not attracted to him and has assured you she's still committed to your relationship and he's married. She literally just started the job too.

I totally get insecurities solidifying after recent rockiness in your relationship, but then you also explained that she's been feeling cooped up and depressed and lost a family member recently... Aren't THOSE issues probably more related to your recent relationship rockiness than this trifling dude at her job?? Like he's a fly but the other stuff is mold, know what I mean?

And I mean, you (understandably) went hardcore threat-detection turf-protection mode, but perhaps what could help your relationship most during this time is actually some intentional and sustained nurturing? I think Mori spoke to this elsewhere in the post.

Not to reference my own work sis experiences again but... with my work bro friendships, in almost all cases the work bro was the one who was partnered. Whereas in half the cases I was partnered and the other half I was single. I NEVER EVER had a problem with a work bro's SO when I was the single work sis, talk less of when partnered. And not even my craziest ex was ever jealous of any work bro.

BUT. I'm also not the shit where I eat type. So perhaps that's why I so strongly reject most posters in here projecting (what appear to be typically) male motives onto your girl. I guess I could just read what you described so many other ways.

I dunno. Glad you two came to an understanding I guess. But if she swears she's not the shit where she eats type either, I'm inclined to give her benefit of the doubt based on what you've shared here. I still think your girl's not really being given a fair shake in this post but... *shrug*