so let me get all of this out.

At my high school...I was a bit of a weirdo. I didn't go to grade school with other students like most...I was 2 years younger so my social skills were stunted...I just didn't fit in.

There was a select few of my classmates who I could look back at and say were just genuine. Some BECAME cool when we got older and met in passing or at reunions....but very few of the Black students were accepting of the scrawny, scruffy black kid with the big mouth and the Urkel glasses.

Two of those people were Ike and JT.

Ike was consummate cool without being unassuming. Pretty boy enough during the "High Yellow" days that he could have been an asshole and caught no flack...but he just wasn't built like that. He had a good heart, and was always ready to greet you with a smile even if you weren't in his social circle.

JT was a b-girl, always sweet and unassuming. You could tell she had some sass to her, but she never used it. She was just cool as a fan.

JT and Ike went to prom together. They graduated and started their careers, then married not long after that. That's over 20 years of marriage.

Right around when Babylady was hitting Kindergarten, I sent her to a private school in the neighborhood while I tried to figure out the city's placement test. Imagine my surprise when I walked in and the 1st people I see I recognize is Ike and JT. Their children had been attending the school since it's founding, and we chopped it up and caught up a bit.

Other people from my school had children there, and they were cordial enough, and Ike and JT were in THEIR circle of friends, so I was always an outsider to a certain extent....but Ike and JT remained the same as they were in high school. Approachable, all around genuine....and just SEEING them made me proud because I knew they had found something in one another waaaaay before I was in a position to know what I wanted in life.

JT posted that Ike passed away yesterday, and it's just hitting me in the chest like a ton of bricks.

It's not like we were the best of friends.
It's not like we ever hung out.

How can I explain it....just SEEING them together made me proud. Proud of the way they were raised, proud of the way they were teaching THEIR children....hopeful that even in the midst of all the privilege and class stratification that ran rampant in my school....genuine people DID exist...and they could find love....and they could raise children....and through all of that....they could STILL be true to themselves and their core beliefs.

In my eyes, they were better people than I could ever be.

So here I am....dealing with a loss that shouldn't affect me like this but does....
Not wanting to share this on other social media outlets because this shit is about JT. She's lost her husband, her best friend, her co-parent...her EVERYTHING.

I'm not going to let my shit stand in the way of the love and support that she is going to need to make it thru to the other side of this.

And now you got me...typing this long, rambling post out so that I can say out loud how much they meant to me, how said I am to see him go, how we need more people like him and JT in this world....

Goddamn Ike.

Rest in Power, brother.

D

A nice thing you can do is share in a letter to the Mom and her kid(s) some of these feelings.

We had death in the family and the most thoughtful and greatest thing to receive were heartfelt letters expressing how people felt about the loved one. It was especially touching from people who weren't particularly close to the family and we didn't know they had that sort of impact.

We framed a couple of those letters.

Think about it. Great way to honor the memory.


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

wholeheartedly.

man. we just never know.
give folks their flowers while they're with us..

God bless :-)

She'd probably appreciate reading this.

In these days and times, seeing people like that gives you hope that we not lost as a culture and as a society.

hold your head.

loss is one of the toughest things man. no words.

I agree with the sentiment you should share this with the family,I’m sure they would appreciate it as much we did.

I was about a year and a half ahead myself and it can be a challenge.. genuine folk are extremely valuable in this life and world.. it's worth sharing with her the impact they had for you... if you're up for it.. it would acknowledge and validate something they probably never needed validated since it's just who they are but all the same deserves to be... life is all about the impact of and on others... heck you've impacted me previously DVS and you're sharing this takes that even deeper.. peace and respect man.

>heck you've
>impacted me previously DVS and you're sharing this takes that
>even deeper.. peace and respect man.

God Bless JT. Stay up.

..my condolences to you and their family.


*skatin' the rings of saturn*


..and miles to go before i sleep...

R.I.P. to him