but i did get to this part:

"But Grace's story re-zeroes that scale, and suddenly everything in my past that's already beyond fixing is +10 worse.

Jabby and fumbling and pushy and transactional? He convinced you to say yes even though you said no a bunch of times?

That's coercive, nonconsensual sex. You have a right to feel violated."

and here's where i'll say this author's take is bullshit. because, in this case, Grace didn't say no a bunch of times. she just tried to use body language which he either ignored or just didn't catch the cues. however, in Grace's own account she says when she finally told him "no" he stopped and said "how about we just chill, but with our clothes on" and they watched TV. it goes back to the op eds about not being a mind reader. sounds like if she would just said "no" from jump she'd have been in a cab and in her own bed well-before even she expected.