>how can someone find their own kind unattractive without
>biases?

Physical attraction doesn’t require a logical basis and lack of physical attraction doesn't require negative bias.

That isn’t to say people don’t have reasons, just that they don’t *have* to have a reason. I think it’s a hard concept for most people to wrap their heads around but I don’t really see where it’s a necessary factor.

It can be as simple as you either like what you see or you don’t, but your brain doesn’t necessarily need to connect a logical sequence of dots to arrive at that conclusion. It can just….be.

Another alternative to stereotype (which I argue is different from a general bias) is trauma.

I know a Mexican woman who was raped by a black man. She hates black men in general and always has some tirade about black men. She’s pretty much stereotyped all black men as potential rapists.

I know another Mexican woman who was molested by a Mexican man. She has no problems with Mexican men, never says a negative word about Mexican men, but can’t bring herself to be romantically or sexually intimate with a Mexican man because, through no fault of their own, past boyfriends have said or done things that triggered those unpleasant memories and does not date them as a result.

She doesn’t think all Mexican men are child molesters. She just can’t get past it emotionally or psychologically and frankly, she doesn’t owe it to Mexican men to ‘get over it’ or what have you. With her it’s not a stereotype or a bias but a situation where’s she recognizes a limitation within herself and eventually decided to simplify her romantic life.

And that’s my point: the choice is ultimately about the person making the choice, not their potential options. It’s also not always some cut and dry, this or that program that drives a choice.

Stereotypes is just one potential scenario here, but its hardly the only possibility. People are complex and layered in the things that make us tick and there can be countless nuances that lead to why we choose who we choose in potential mates.