of course as an OKP tho 😜

you be making my day sometimes lol

did I do that right??
lol


"Get ready....for your blessing....."

:-)~

______________________________________________________________________________

cscpov.blogspot.com

"There's a fine line between persistence and foolishness..."
-unknown

"To Each His Reach"

I expect a white girl who grew up in the trap to only date black guys
just like I wouldnt be shocked if a dude who hates his mother never dates black women

even though trauma is involved in all lives, but it can just be rooted in environmental circumstance

http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/THISGONBGUD.gif

girls who grew up getting picked on or ignored by black boys their all their lives. I've never seen them date black man.

They are free to date who they want just the same way I am.

its a question that exposes stereotypes...

what now?

One could simply have no attraction to their own race without some deeper rationale behind it. They could simply have no attraction to general characteristics without adhering to stereotypes.

Even if there’s a stereotype attached, what’s really being really? One can exclude entire groups of people from their dating pool for any reason, up to and including stereotypes.

It’s an incredibly intimate decision and people will nitpick potential mates to ridiculous degrees I’ve seen women exclude men for eating Cap’n Crunch and men exclude women for having “too many furry accessories”, both of which are easily more ridiculous than some generic stereotype.

how can someone find their own kind unattractive without biases?

>how can someone find their own kind unattractive without
>biases?

Physical attraction doesn’t require a logical basis and lack of physical attraction doesn't require negative bias.

That isn’t to say people don’t have reasons, just that they don’t *have* to have a reason. I think it’s a hard concept for most people to wrap their heads around but I don’t really see where it’s a necessary factor.

It can be as simple as you either like what you see or you don’t, but your brain doesn’t necessarily need to connect a logical sequence of dots to arrive at that conclusion. It can just….be.

Another alternative to stereotype (which I argue is different from a general bias) is trauma.

I know a Mexican woman who was raped by a black man. She hates black men in general and always has some tirade about black men. She’s pretty much stereotyped all black men as potential rapists.

I know another Mexican woman who was molested by a Mexican man. She has no problems with Mexican men, never says a negative word about Mexican men, but can’t bring herself to be romantically or sexually intimate with a Mexican man because, through no fault of their own, past boyfriends have said or done things that triggered those unpleasant memories and does not date them as a result.

She doesn’t think all Mexican men are child molesters. She just can’t get past it emotionally or psychologically and frankly, she doesn’t owe it to Mexican men to ‘get over it’ or what have you. With her it’s not a stereotype or a bias but a situation where’s she recognizes a limitation within herself and eventually decided to simplify her romantic life.

And that’s my point: the choice is ultimately about the person making the choice, not their potential options. It’s also not always some cut and dry, this or that program that drives a choice.

Stereotypes is just one potential scenario here, but its hardly the only possibility. People are complex and layered in the things that make us tick and there can be countless nuances that lead to why we choose who we choose in potential mates.

>It can be as simple as you either like what you see or you
>don’t, but your brain doesn’t necessarily need to connect
>a logical sequence of dots to arrive at that conclusion. It
>can just….be.

I would wager that the majority of people out here cannot understand that some things are the way they are without any rhyme or reason behind it.

Be, as a state of being, exists but it's hard to wrap your head around it's simplicity because we're conditioned to believe that something exists for a reason and not simply that it exists, if you get what I'm saying.

because I can't wrap my mind around a person not having a reason

wait..

could this be anything like homosexuality 🤔

>because I can't wrap my mind around a person not having a
>reason

A person can simply like something because they do with no other reason other than that.


---------------------------

"Where was the peace when we were getting shot? Where's the peace when we were getting laid out?
Where is the peace when we are in the back of ambulances? Where is the peace then?
They don't want to call for peace then.

the real issue is "why"...
how did the rock get there...

If one says he/she will "only" date a particular people
you cant have me believe there isn't a reason...

it doesnt just happen.

it could be cultural, grew up around one particular race..

could be physical attraction

conditioning

childhood trauma

but no one exclusively dates outside their race jist cause it happened thay way.

thats impossible.

a better answer is "cause its none of our fucking business"

>the real issue is "why"...
>how did the rock get there...
>
>If one says he/she will "only" date a particular people
>you cant have me believe there isn't a reason...

the reason could just be that's who they're attracted to and that's it. No further explanation necessary. We tend to dissect things we don't agree with and sometimes it just may be as simple as that.


---------------------------

"Where was the peace when we were getting shot? Where's the peace when we were getting laid out?
Where is the peace when we are in the back of ambulances? Where is the peace then?
They don't want to call for peace then.

This is evident in the fact that people usually exclude this very viable option.

I used to have a thing for girls with shorter, chin-length hair. No real reason, I just did. Yet many would likely press the issue and insist that there was some underlying reason for that attraction.

This is far more about the need people have for an answer, ANY answer, than it is any real necessity for an underlying explanation.

Your already at the finish line with your reply, "I shouldn't matter"

It shouldn't require an explanation....

got it, lol

doesn't take away from the fact there's always a reason and most people give one...

>Your already at the finish line with your reply, "I shouldn't
>matter"

Don't think I said that.

>It shouldn't require an explanation...

Didn't say that either, far as I recall.

>doesn't take away from the fact there's always a reason

There isn't always a reason and there doesn't have to be a reason.

>most people give one...

That's a different discussion point and not one that I've argued.

This is exactly why Harriet said:
"I could have freed 1000 more if they knew
they were slaves."

This desire to just "be" without questioning
is why folks don't know they're slaves.

If it was a sincere attempt to find psychological and sociological explanations for why people have their personal preferences...then sure.

But often...this is more an exercise of desperately searching for a psychological explanation that coincides with a pre-conceived worldview and/or agenda. that is....the worldview comes first....then we look for something that fits with it.

Do you feel she's putting the carriage before
the horse? If not, this comment is outta place.

but dating EXCLUSIVELY out of your race is questionable as shit to me


like at some point a person decided "I'm not going to date one of my own"


nah

>but dating EXCLUSIVELY out of your race is questionable as
>shit to me

But in what way is it affecting you?


>like at some point a person decided "I'm not going to date one
>of my own"
>
>
>nah

Pretty sure there's more to it than that...

>>but dating EXCLUSIVELY out of your race is questionable as
>>shit to me
>
>But in what way is it affecting you?
>
>
does it have to affect you for you to have an opinion on it?

But being who I am, not a Hotep at all but someone who values Black culture, history, and family? It surely bothers me.

A girl I know from the Valley out here is very Pro-Black, but her younger brother from the Valley is polar opposite. Said he'll never date Black women, and that they're never attractive to him, and they're loud, ghetto, ignorant, etc. etc.

Bad thing is...she says he was talking to a Black girl at a party who was very cute, and nothing near ghetto...and his friends grabbed him, and said "ugh, why you talking to her? She looks raggedy" SOLELY because she's Black.

That shit affects US when it's idiots out there that act like this. Even if it's not the majority, that's a major issue to me. Especially because we know where that thinking comes from.

to Judiasm and found her new husband on Jdate. Which to me is so very different from being a sister or brother who met someone of another race they happened to fall for.

I put her in a box and was done.


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

People can date whoever they want. Whatever floats ones boat.

But, of course there will be those who will attack people who choose to date exogamously, especially Black people. I guess that comes with the territory.

Usually some sort of trauma or ulterior motive

When individuals actively avoid relationships with others whom they share ethnicity, I recognize two scenarios. They differ culturally from those in their ethnic community, or, they hate themselves/their people.
But I'm generalizing.

.

People have deeply underlying reasons for all sorts of things and dating is about as intimate and personal a choice as anyone can make. It could be as simple as not having a physical attraction with no real “logic” behind it or there could be some deeper psychological block as a result of some traumatic experience.

It’s really nobody’s business either way.

Aside from that? I just plain don’t care who other people choose to date or why, unless it’s someone I care about and at that point all I care about is whether or not it’s a healthy situation.

anyone who dated exclusively outside their race. i assumed Blacks and Asians were self hating, and that whites were exploiting. but like someone above said, if youre one race, and grew up around predominately _____ folks, i could see how someone would be exclusively attracted.
most of my anger stemmed from jealously and insecurity.
now? as fluidj said...

although i have met folks who fit the above narrative. its cringe worthy to watch

its not that they (jessica williams and phoebe robinson) exclusively date white dudes its that I have a creeping suspicion that they do not view black men in the greatest light

AND

they seem to lean on the idea that its sooooo incredibly difficult to find a brother who "Gets" where they are coming from.

um

if you are in NYC this is a major center of black intelligent weirdos. that aint no excuse.

I've tried to listen to them multiple times, I find it frustratingly difficult to do so because I find them to be self-serving opportunists (and their negro humor escapes me). The part I don't understand is that they seem to disparage white guys too, the one woman has new a pod titled "Sooo Many White Guys" the only person involved in the entire production who's not white, is her.

>I've tried to listen to them multiple times, I find it
>frustratingly difficult to do so because I find them to be
>self-serving opportunists (and their negro humor escapes me).
>The part I don't understand is that they seem to disparage
>white guys too, the one woman has new a pod titled "Sooo Many
>White Guys" the only person involved in the entire production
>who's not white, is her.
>


I still enjoy the podcast when they are not talking

but

I do cringe when Jessica and Phoebe talk about dating

You can be pro black and date other but for them its hard to be on their side if they are pro black in some ways but then play the whole "but we're different types of black people! we're not like the others! " angle

And I say this as someone who loved Williams on the Daily show. It feels like their level of 'wokeness' reminds me more of a black blogger trying to work their way up yelp review tiers.

Like, if you want to carve a niche out of the new world where you represent this form of blackness, by all means. But there's something that seems disingenuous about it all (your critique about Soo many white guys, etc).

As opposed to lets say the Read where you hear the pained strain of 'cism that we all deal with in their voices, on their show it feels like racism is a slight cold, lol.

.

one does not discover Blackness, even if they grew up around white folk, or are mixed. it is an almost imbedded part of their social and racial imaginary, I would say that it's almost more reflexive than those who grew up in predominately Black neighborhoods...

yet they are more likely to have an antagonistic relationship with it

Blackness is something they (some one like Jessica Williams) are going to wrestle with in ways that are no more valid or invalid then normalized Black (Crissle)

the "woke" aspect, in regards to understanding how blackness functions in society, or the cultural signifiers, or the historical context and genealogy of it def can be discovered, but it's something we all discover and continuously "discover" and push and pull to define within ourselves, families, love interest, and broader community(ies)

i think to say they discover it, inversely says in some way that they really aren't Black. I know that's not what you mean, but that sentiment breathes within the seems of that statement. that Blackness they share/express, woke Blackness in particular, is a garment they put on and take off.

I sure hope they don't, but i feel you

I'd add that one woman who does the buzzfeed joints and black hair thingihmuhjig to the list. she also married a white dude

but honestly give me them over Umar or Tariq any day

If this topic is a major talking point for their “brand” or what have you, they’re kind of wide open for critique of the underlying reason behind their choices.

I've always wondered why, but it feels like the Black "weirdos" or those who grow up and enjoy a completely different culture from most of us NEVER, ever ever ever ever end up with each other.

its like magnets... 2 black weirdos of the opposite sex in the same room is a fight waiting to happen.

i've discovered some pockets in DTLA and West Adams along Vermont/Jefferson where the Black Bohos, weirdos are fucking with each other, but they skew a whole decade younger than me

Black women my age who are into the shit I'm into, for real kinda bore me cause they are too much nerd and not enough wierdo, while the full blown weirdos fie pussy girls are young and i have no time or energy for it

it's what made me fall in love with NY so much, I felt it was hella normal to be Black (and a myriad a black) weirdos together.

In LA it's the Hollywood Blacks, the Valley Blacks, the hood Blacks, and the Upper Middle Class blacks and they all don't fuck with each other, lol

That and Jessica Williams IG feed and knowing their audience is like 100% white.



>its not that they (jessica williams and phoebe robinson)
>exclusively date white dudes its that I have a creeping
>suspicion that they do not view black men in the greatest
>light
>
>AND
>
>they seem to lean on the idea that its sooooo incredibly
>difficult to find a brother who "Gets" where they are coming
>from.
>
>um
>
>if you are in NYC this is a major center of black intelligent
>weirdos. that aint no excuse.


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

If a black woman (for example) doesn't date black men then cool. It's only when said black woman makes it a point to shit on black men whenever she gets a chance. Why the fuck does she care? She wouldn't date them anyway.

Same with black men that talk down about black women, or asian women that trash asian men, etc.



*and by "care" I mean that once I hear the negativity I no longer take the opinion of them seriously.

The "why" is kind of immaterial to me, no matter what it is. If there's an underlying malice attached, it would definitely color my perception of that person.

I don't have a single homeboy who's like this. I do have a few who seem to go for others more than Black women, but even with them, I just can't roll with them the same way as my other boys.

As for women...I don't know many, really any at all who are like this. But I do know one that told me she doesn't have a preference when it comes to dating, and that Black men usually never have the same interests as her, and they also don't approach her as much as (old) White guys and foreigners do.

If they are genuinely happy.. who cares?

If they aren't then it might be something they need to examine but otherwise... smile and skip wit cho white ass boyfriend/girlfriend down the yellow brick road

now they are happy to have their trophy/mate but when it comes to topics that involve race they are usually radical as hell or shitting on their people while giving the preferred race a pass.

why is it easy to predict a woman or man who dates exclusively outside their race? Its like there is a handbook of similar talking points.

For those of you who so called take issue with people who choose to date different ethnic groups, especially Black ones, you are full of shit!!!

You say that these people can't participate in discussions regarding "Black" love. You say that these people need to not say negative things regarding their experiences with Black darers. But, it is acceptable for you to say they are weak weirdos, self loathing, coons and bed wenches not worthy of respect, etc.

Plus.

It is ok for you to negatively judge them, mistreat them and tell them how they think as well as why they think it. You basically believe that it is ok with practicing a double standard.

I think that is absolute bullshit and should be unacceptable!

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

if you rocking a dashiki with NOI posts all in ya timeline, but your pictures only look like Coed Mandingo 23, there is a problem.

>
>**********
>"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then
>they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson
>
>"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

.

It is never about people who only exclusively
date outside their ethnic group.

It is about Black men and women who date non-Black exclusively or not because many people take issue with them doing it as opposed to everyone else who does it.

Nobody likes seeing a Black person with a non-Black person for ANY reason!

The post title literally is:

""what are your thoughts on ppl who date exclusively outside their race?"

We've had 'who have you dated/had sex with outside of the race" posts go fine, this is a different topic.


>It is never about people who only exclusively
>date outside their ethnic group.
>
>It is about Black men and women who date non-Black exclusively
>or not because many people take issue with them doing it as
>opposed to everyone else who does it.
>
>Nobody likes seeing a Black person with a non-Black person for
>ANY reason!
>
>
>
>

My response has nothing to do with me hit dogging. It had a lot to do with respect for the individual and their choices.

Next, these topics is always about how damaged and fucked up a Black person is who dates outside their race. The exclusivity tag is just an excuse to smite those who choose a different type of partner.

But, since you wanna bring my name into the mix..

I don't believe in being exclusive to no ethnic group! I do believe in being exclusive to individuals who are deemed worthy, whether the share my ethnicity or not.

but maybe the anger is warranted...

that didn't go that way:

http://board.okayplayer.com/okp.php?az=show_topic&forum=4&topic_id=13044274&mesg_id=13044274&listing_type=search

http://board.okayplayer.com/okp.php?az=show_topic&forum=4&topic_id=13027097&mesg_id=13027097&listing_type=search

Not going to say that posts don't pop where people throw shade, but ye doth protest to much.

But..

Miscegenation, regardless of intent, has never been popular especially when a Black person is involved. The sentiments expressed in this thread or any other thread is never just about those who exclusively engage in miscegenation. To me, that is a bullshit excuse!!!

As someone who has dated a variety of women most of my adult life, I can guarantee you that people who gave me and my lady friend the stink eye or who made some rude remark could give two shits about WHY we are in each other's company. What they SEE is what they don't like hence the stare, remark, etc.

The fact that someone has to like or love someone for specific reasons as opposed to others who do not have the same conditions placed upon them is very problematic!! That is my issue and will forever be an issue to me. It is bullshit!!

do you exclusively date outside your race?

Who is to say that a Black person who exclusively dates within his or her ethnic group knows shit about Black love?

There are many Black relationships that are toxic. But, you think they are qualified to talk about it just cuz their S.O. is Black?

Also, these people who are against interracial relationships have no problem speaking on interracial relationships, even though they never been in one themselves? Do you think these people will allow someone in an IR relationship to censor them? No!

You got niggas making psychological assessments on swirlers and shit, but of course, they are entitled to do so as opposed to the swirler doing the same with endogamous relationships.

My issue is the hypocrisy with these people. They stay on some bullshit!!

when they try and tell them what an IR feels like.

if you havent been in one, you cant speak on the challenges of an IR relationship.

i agree, love is love but there is definitely a thing called Black love and the shit feels good.

>when they try and tell them what an IR feels like.
>
>if you havent been in one, you cant speak on the challenges of
>an IR relationship.
>
>i agree, love is love but there is definitely a thing called
>Black love and the shit feels good.

I will say this..

IR relationships is not for everyone. May not even be for most people, but it does work for those who choose to make it work.

My sentiments are for those who mistreat people who are in these types of relationships.

As for Black love being real and feeling good, well, I sure it is for those who have experienced it.

But, I just don't see why someone in an IR relationship will care about any other relationship aside from their own?

This topic sucks for many reasons, but mainly because in this day and age, people still worrying about who people love, despite the fact that they aren't dealing with these people on a personal level, let alone a romantic level.

I commend anyone who is able to find someone willing to love them for them and put up with their bullshit, regardless of whether said person looks like them or not.

I can't accept people mistreating others based on who they like, love, fuck and suck, etc. I am about living one's life as they see fit so long as it is not breaking any laws nor infringing upon someone else's life.

my experience tends to be large social groups where some people are in IR's and some arent and the discussion pops up about relationships in general.

...or maybe the fellas are out or its bar talk and the discussiln pops up.

its just talking, i dont think anyone has ever told someone to stfu when giving their opinion but its moreso on the lines of "you wouldnt know because you havent experienced it"

people are free to give opinions whether right or wrong, it shouldnt stop someone from enjoying their mate unless they have some issues they havent addressed.

I'm from Western PA, toxic interracial relationship capital of the original 13 colonies. I have witnessed an amazing amount of ignorance disguised as "love" was used to justify some messy shit.

>my experience tends to be large social groups where some
>people are in IR's and some arent and the discussion pops up
>about relationships in general.
>
>...or maybe the fellas are out or its bar talk and the
>discussiln pops up.
>
>its just talking, i dont think anyone has ever told someone to
>stfu when giving their opinion but its moreso on the lines of
>"you wouldnt know because you havent experienced it"
>
>people are free to give opinions whether right or wrong, it
>shouldnt stop someone from enjoying their mate unless they
>have some issues they havent addressed.
>
>I'm from Western PA, toxic interracial relationship capital of
>the original 13 colonies. I have witnessed an amazing amount
>of ignorance disguised as "love" was used to justify some
>messy shit.

Of course a person is entitled to give an opinion regarding relationships, but my issue arises when said opinion affects how one treats another person based on the opinion or perception.

Another thing, toxic relationships exist across the board. There is no group that is immune to these types of relationships. But, what puzzles me is how people will assume IR relationships occur based on archaic stereotypes when in reality, they happen primarily the way an endogamous relationship happens.

Moral of the story is that people are people and they will deal with those who choose to deal with them. The reasons may vary from person to person, but I do not know one person who has ever got with someone based solely on skin color. Gotta get along with the person you are dealing with in order for shit to work.

Lastly, there are people who simply have specific preferences. With specific preferences, unfortunately, there will be people who will fall outside of that person's specific preference. That is life. But, that doesn't mean that the person outside one person's preference applies to the next person. We all meet someone's preference.

I just do not care for the double standard some people place on Black men and women who choose to be in IR relationships. I have not read one positive thing concerning these types of people which is problematic. But, of course, these same people have to live by certain rules and regulations regarding what can be discussed or not, how to love someone or not, etc. No person lives like that nor should they live like that.

>do you exclusively date outside your race?

>>do you exclusively date outside your race?

I do not believe in being exclusive to any race. I believe in being exclusive to an individual woman who may or may not be from my ethnic group. I am open to whoever so long as there is some chemistry, similar or complimentary interests, beliefs, etc.

You didn't understand the post.

I don't think you understand how this shit works being that I lived it for over 25+ years, so..try again..

is trolling ? If every discussion about IR relationships is taken the way you respond to this one, it does not leave any room to go below the surface.

add to that that POC always embraced me, whereas white people mocked me for not being white enough. plus white people who are or hold racist views always think i will somehow share their views, so I've never had any desire to date my own race. now, i would date a white woman, if one approached me, and there are definitely white women all the time that i think are beautiful, but im thirty six, and have only dated black women, with one exception of dating a puerto rican woman. also, I've had two black female roommates in my life. once at twenty one, and currently. both times have been great experiences where we were both like minded. im far more comfortable around black people than white people.

a reason....

Do you mean they were calling you a 'wigger' or something like that?

My social circle has been mostly black and the majority of my romantic relationships have been with black women. I'm around the same age as you. But the only time i experienced any blowback from white people was a LONG time ago. Like when I was 13/14 and I'd get the 'w' word. But I'm also in Toronto so I imagine this white blowback thing might be more common in rural areas or in southern states or something like that.

a lot of white people growing up listened to rap as a form of rebellion, or a way to piss off their parents. for me, it spoke of my surroundings. Straight Outta Compton was a perfect example. The dope man lived on my block, i played basketball with the dope man, i had seen police brutality, etc. My dad bought the album for me after it came out. my father also raised me in the library. when i was twelve, he had me read Malcolm Xs bio, which lead to me reading Assata, Angela, Soledad Brother, Marcus Garvey, Leonard Peltier, etc etc. Pomona High had a lot of violence, so my grandmother got me into a neighboring school that was mostly white. the few black kids there accepted me and were my best friends. the white kids called me names and gave me shit because i was far more aware than them, plus i was faaaaarrrr more real. it wasn't fake or forced, it was just my natural progression. i was able to better understand the complexity behind a lot of feelings black people had towards whites, but the white people i came across as a teenager didn't or wouldn't. i got snide comments like -- hes not white, hes a light skinned black dude--ALWAYS said to try and put me down. white kids couldn't stand the fact that i wasn't just like them. also, not to be a sob story, but my mother left me when i was ten --my parents broke up when i was three, and i lived with her until i was nine -- partly because she didn't approve of who i was becoming. i remember her having a real problem that my best friend was black, and that i had stayed at his house, stayed with him and his family in Watts, and he had stayed at our place. to this day, i have never spoken to her or seen her since.

I don't share that experience. Other than when i was 13/14....i can't even remember one instance wherein white people had a problem with my friends or partners/family.

One thing I find interesting....it was noted above that there's a possible phenomenon in which some black men who exclusively date white women often have relationship problems with their mothers. Obviously me and you are an extremely small sample size but it's notable that both of us had problematic relationships with our moms, primarily raised by our fathers....and we both date mostly black women.

Which brings me back to a prejudice that I'm aware of in myself. I've said this here before....but I have a general assumption that white women are more opportunistic and less loyal than black women in terms of relationships. Quicker to trade you in if you have fallen on ruff times. Less supportive if you lose a job and that type of stuff. I assume that my prejudice is based on anecdotal evidence....that it's probably not fair to white women. But nonetheless...I know i have that suspicion/prejudice. Seems likely that it comes from my mom and her troubles.

though those kind of white women do exist, but from my experience, every black woman I've been with has been extra loyal and more than willing to pick me up if i fell, and respect and loyalty is a big issue with me. with white women, my main and sometimes only concern is will she be like minded enough.

and they don't want to do the work to heal that, they are better off dating someone who they are less likely to project those issues on to.

For example, if you're a Black man who truly thinks that non-Black women have more value than Black women, they can have you, because you would be a terrible partner to a Black woman.

>In other words, if you're a Black man who truly thinks that
>non-Black women have more value than Black women, they can
>have you, because you would be a terrible partner to a Black
>woman.

as a Black woman. My general view applies to anyone.

.

my friend finally dated the mixed girl who always dated white dudes.

worst mistake of his life, he soent all day defending all things black because she was always going in on black people.

like what you like

i don't really know anyone who only dates outside of their race. I know some people who may date more women of color than white women, but they haven't totally ruled out white women and I know some brothas who date more white women than sistas, but do occasionally date black women.

I have never met anyone outside of my father's wife's son who has never had a white girlfriend, but I've never asked him why because for one, it's not that serious, and two, i'ont really fuck with him.

I married a Korean after exclusively dating women of color and 95% of them being Black women. Her record is all black men, but that's just two including me. One relationship lasted almost 7 years and we've been together 15.

People have their preferences for whatever reason. I remember being conflicted early in our relationship because I was really feeling her, but the fact that she wasn't Black dampened what kind of future I saw for ourselves. I didn't see her becoming my wife because I never envisioned having a non-Black wife, but I really dug her and so did my Black mom, Black grandma, and my Black sister. I got over the confliction and this past summer was our 10 year anniversary and we have 2 beautiful kids.

At the end of the day, everyone has to do what makes them happy, but I am still curious as to why some folks choose to not date anyone from their ethnic group, race, tribe, etc.


kev

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then i have no issue with it

but if it's because you aren't attracted to your own race then those are some deep psychological issues going on.

i honestly say this because I got a close friend who is from Nickerson and he married non-black women (has kids), and bruh, he is more down for us as Black/oppressed/marginalized folk than 99.9%.

literally all his work and commitment is to the health and liberation of Black folk

but ok

im talking about people who actively pursue partners outside their race and are against dating their own. Love is unpredictable and people end up marrying outside their race, and thats fine, but to actively *pursue* that isnt something i respect.

Cause that's what this thread is about

He actually dated only Black before

and this was just a reply to Brotha_Sun's statement not the whole thread

.

If you are black you date black
White date white

It's the ones that say nah, Imma date something else that are truly free.

:-)

i think exclusive interracial dating, especially a certain race, can also play into a stereotype.

personally idgaf, dated a lot of different races and skin tones.

how is your ho-tation these days? my cup runneth over, man, being totally single has been incredible.

Being single in your 30s or 40s is like hitting the jackpot.
Especially with online dating.
This man shortage is real out here for the ladies.
They are fighting for position to our benefit.
LOL

Ain't nothing revolutionary about that.
You're more a victim of a centuries-old plan than anything.
America's lab rat.

and absolutely terrifying

what you eat don't make me shit cuh

If you limit your dating pool along racial lines you're probably a bit racist.

Try dating people, not skins.

this helps me understand Cold Truth point about
"without any reason"

>Try dating people, not skins.

lol

http://57.media.tumblr.com/58ff22bc05f2aa76876945f96a127594/tumblr_mrflpwX0HQ1r33r0fo1_r1_500.gif

>>Try dating people, not skins.

what do you mean?

How is it not racist to make a decision based on race?

Now if you only ever meet people of your own race because of where you live, then obviously you'll end up with someone of your own race - but that doesn't involve making a conscious decision to exclude other races.

If you make the decision - you're racist.

Sorry, but that's what the word means.

you and I both know it's not that simple, especially as a white man.

>If you limit your dating pool along racial lines you're probably a bit racist.

smdh

oh, you dont date black dudes? dats racists

If you're YT and you're exclusively dating outside the YT pool, you're a racist... if you're black and resolve never to date another black person you're a racist.

Just because you reject your OWN race in favour of others doesn't make you any less of a racist than the ones that reject others in favour of their own. It's still drawing racial divides. It's still racism, however warped, internalised and unhealthy.

That isnt a "get out of jail free card".

And explain to me again white man, how blacks can be racist?

If you date everyone BUT a race, you're racist. If you date nobody but a race, but your racist. If you decide anything based on someone's race, you're a racist.

But you're right - racism exists at many levels and potencies. At the level of exerting power across society through racism then black people will likely never have the ability of white people to be racist... I completely agree. But of course we're all capable of being internally prejudiced against other races - and what is that called if it's not racism?

Have you got a separate word for that because one's probably needed if it can't be called racism.

WTF?! >If you date nobody but a race, but your racist. If you decide anything based on someone's race, you're a racist.

>But of course we're all capable of being internally prejudiced against other races - and what is that called if it's not racism?

Have you got a separate word for that because one's probably needed if it can't be called racism.

Type more than one sentence and put me straight.

I'm genuinely interested in a proper takedown of my opinion... I'm always interested in that tbh. What's the point of an opinion if it can't be changed?

your own which is understandable because you'll never know what it's like to be anything else but a white male.

your viewpoint is skewed on what racism is because you'll never be on the other side.

As a black man who you've labeled racist, it's not my job to change your mind. My job is to CONTINUE to EXCLUSIVELY date black women.

You just say that and poof, no further argument needed. Nevermind that it applies in about 10% of cases where people use it.

http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-race-affects-whether-people-write-you-back/

This is the closest to "proof" as you'll get. As you see in this chart:
http://cdn.okcimg.com/blog/race_affects/Reply-By-Race-Male.png

The only folks that appear to get replies from a broad swath of women are white men and pacific islanders.

It's easy to be on some "we are the world" shit when you haven't experienced the social ostracization that many non-white men have to deal with when it comes to dating outside of one's own ethnicity. THIS is the privilege that I referred to earlier.

and everyone wants to shame Black people for
fighting back in that war.
First they shut us out, because they didn't
want us messing up their "racial purity."
Now they wanna mix because their birth rates
are so low that they're disappearing.
Now I'm supposed to feel guilty for not mixing
with them? Man getallthewaythefuckouttahere.
If the earth doesn't want them here, neither
do I lol. Plus we all have every right to
care about the survival of our communities
and people. If Black people are racist,
that's AWESOME, because racism deals with
power, and it's about time we get some and
USE IT.

>and everyone wants to shame Black people for
>fighting back in that war.

I actually had white people in mind with my comment. People from all races choose to date exclusively within or without their race... they're all racist. Some of them are more harmfully racist than others, of course... but they're all being racist.

>First they shut us out, because they didn't
>want us messing up their "racial purity."
>Now they wanna mix because their birth rates
>are so low that they're disappearing.
>Now I'm supposed to feel guilty for not mixing
>with them? Man getallthewaythefuckouttahere.
>If the earth doesn't want them here, neither
>do I lol. Plus we all have every right to
>care about the survival of our communities
>and people. If Black people are racist,
>that's AWESOME, because racism deals with
>power, and it's about time we get some and
>USE IT.

THEM because THEY are all MONOLITH like you'd complain about THEM calling YOU, huh?

Racist.

>I actually had white people in mind with my comment. People
>from all races choose to date exclusively within or without
>their race... they're all racist. Some of them are more
>harmfully racist than others, of course... but they're all
>being racist.
>
>THEM because THEY are all MONOLITH like you'd complain about
>THEM calling YOU, huh?
>
>Racist.
>



That's fine. My "racism" isn't harming anyone.
The system uses racism to destroy us.
I use mine to defend myself against the system.
*shrugs*
Lol @ u trying to shame me when people are
literally out here systematically killing my
people dead based on our race.
If I'm racist then so be it.

Tbh, I assume if you make racist decisions you're perfectly fine with being a racist. It's far more healthy and laudable to be comfortable in and defend your own opinions than deny them.

And that's ok. Be proud about your choices - if you date along racial lines whether inclusive or exclusive of your own race, go for it... just don't try and deny it's not rooted in racism.

And although I find some elements of it frustrating I'm never going to try and argue that minority racism is in any way comparable in harm to white racism.

>And although I find some elements of it frustrating I'm never
>going to try and argue that minority racism is in any way
>comparable in harm to white racism.


The problem is that anyone finds it frustrating
that we would defend ourselves (well, I expect
white supremacists to find it frustrating).
Like I said,
all aspects of white racism are war. Everybody
wants to guilt trip Blacks into not fighting
back despite being killed and despite other races
fighting back against it.

https://cdn.meme.am/instances/500x/55840293.jpg

and probably brain washed

i can understand dating withing race for love of your culture though and just because it's easier.

..

those are my thoughts

whats the post about?

...

I'm black yall. And I'm black yall. and I'm blacker than black, cuz I'm black yall.

Seriously though, it's important to me to be a black man, with a black family.

I don't think dating outside of your race makes you less black. I don't think dating only outside of your race makes you less black, I think you might be a little touched in the noggin, but you're still black.

However, saying just fall in love with anyone rings hollow to me. I choose to date black women because I believe in building a strong, black nation. Part of that means choosing a spouse who has beautiful, African features, and a connection to black culture. Raising children so that they understand the importance, worth, and majesty of our culture.

That doesn't mean I hate other people, or I don't respect their cultures, or find them interesting or beautiful...

But I'm for black people, and I don't think I could truly be for black people in the way that I believe is important while having a white wife...or an asian wife...or in some instances a Latin wife.

Date who you want....but this shit is deeper to me than just...that person was fun, and sexy, so I'm with them. That shit is important...but there are other aspects of a relationship to take into consideration. Is this person ambitious? Do the compliment me? And in my opinion, do that line up with the life I want to live?

(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

But I do know Africans of all stripes. Some don't feel they need solidarity with any group, some with their tribe, some with their nation, some with all people of African descent.

Who's to say how I'd feel about anything is my last name was Olawumi or something.

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If you are an Inuit Eskimo living in Guam - what are you going to do, stop dating?

I don't care

huh

~ ~ ~
All meetings end in separation
All acquisition ends in dispersion
All life ends in death
- The Buddha

|\_/|
='_'=

Every hundred years, all new people

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