Curious to hear different reactions to this piece.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kasey-rosehodge/dear-creepy-heterosexual-men-guarding-our-bathrooms_b_10105512.html

Dear Creepy Heterosexual Men Guarding Our Bathrooms

05/23/2016
Kasey Rose-Hodge

My entire life, I’ve been told to fear you in one way or another. I’ve been told to cover my body as to not distract you in school, to cover my body to help avoid unwanted advances or comments, to cover my body as to not tempt you to sexually assault me, to reject your unwanted advances politely as to not anger you. I’ve been taught to never walk alone at night, to hold my keys in my fist while walking in parking lots, to check the backseat of my car, to not drink too much because you might take advantage of me. I’ve been told what I should and shouldn’t do with my body as to not jeopardize my relationships with you.

I’ve been warned not to emasculate you, to let “boys be boys,” to protect your fragile ego and to not tread on your even more fragile masculinity. I’ve been taught to keep my emotions in check, to let you be the unit of measure for how much emotion is appropriate and to adjust my emotions accordingly. I’ve been taught that you’re allowed to categorize women into mothers/sisters/girlfriends/wives/daughters but any woman outside of your protected categories is fair game.

So to those of you who think you’re being helpful by “protecting” me and my fellow women, you’re like a shark sitting in the lifeguard chair. I wasn’t uncomfortable until you showed up at the pool and the only potential predator I see is you.

Your mothers, sisters, girlfriends, wives and daughters don’t need you to walk them to the bathroom for safety. Your fathers, brothers, friends and sons need to walk themselves away from their own double standards. Women are sexually harassed and sexually assaulted on school campuses, on the street, at their jobs, on the Internet, in their own homes, in ANY public place. And it has been excused or ignored for so long because of what you and I are taught from the first years of our interactions with each other: You, as a male, are not accountable for your own actions. It’s MY responsibility, as a female, to not “provoke” you. But then you get to knight-in-shining-armor your way through life for those in your protected categories and I am expected to applaud you. Why the outrage now over bathrooms? Why aren’t you outraged every single day?

If you’re telling me that there are high volumes of boys and men out there, in schools or in general, who are just waiting for a “loop-hole” to sexually assault girls and women, we have bigger problems on our hands than bathrooms. The first problem would be your apparent lack of knowledge of how often it happens OUTSIDE of bathrooms, with no “loop holes” needed. This isn’t about transgender bathroom access. This is about you not trusting the boys and men in your communities and/or fearing that they’re all secretly predators. Why do you have this fear? How many fathers have panicked when their daughters started dating because they “know how teenage boys can be because they used to be one”? How many times have girls been warned “boys are only after one thing”? A mother can bring her young son into the women’s restroom and that’s fine but a father bringing his young daughter into the men’s restroom is disturbing because men are assumed to be predators and “little girls” shouldn’t be exposed to that.

So instead of picking up your sword and heading to Target or the girls’ locker room to defend our “rights,” why don’t you start somewhere that could actually make a difference? Challenge your children’s schools to end sexist dress codes and dress codes that sexualize girls as young as age 5. Advocate for proper (or any) sex education classes in all public schools by a certain grade level. Focus more on teaching your sons not to rape vs teaching your daughters how to avoid being raped. Stop asking “How would you feel if that was your mother or sister?” It shouldn’t take the comparison to clue you in to what’s right or wrong. Question why you’re more worried about your daughter being around men than your son being around women in bathrooms and dressing rooms. Stop walking by Victoria’s Secret with no problem but covering your son’s eyes if a woman is breastfeeding in public. Stop treating your daughter’s body as some fortress you’re sworn to protect as if that’s all she’s got to offer the world.

Poll question: Dear Creepy Heterosexual Men Guarding Our Bathrooms(swipe)

Poll result (19 votes) On Point - M (11 votes) Vote Way Off Base - M (3 votes) Vote On Point - F (4 votes) Vote Way Off Base - F (0 votes) Vote On Point - T (M or F) (0 votes) Vote Way Off Base - T (M or F) (1 votes) Vote

and placed holds on the author's account

http://www.revelist.com/us-news/kasey-rose-hodge-lgbt-facebook/2473

they said it was an "error," which is probably bullshit.

but they 'mistakenly' put all those blocks on her account as well?

ya right


>they said it was an "error," which is probably bullshit.

From anyone, really, whether personal opinion or one shared by friends/loved ones

Is the issue with this type of view that it's really gynocentric?

As in, by lashing out at men, the author alienates transgender individuals who either now or previously identified as male?

Or is it off base in the sense that young boys are somewhat villified and young girls held (relatively) unaccountable, essentially the inverse of what has her so upset in the first place?

*flips it*

Point blank, dat shit read like a bunch of mascuphobia©

-Is there a faction of men that be on some screwball fuckery?.....Yes.
But dem ninjaz ain't the predominant default.

-Has her conditioning been conditioned?...Yes.
But in the spirit of endurance, she still owes it to herself
to shed that victim-fabric and grow comfortable in her own skin.
The resulting renewed sense-of-self will cultivate the confidence
needed to mitigate her mascuphobic disposition, a disposition doomed to
impair her ability to have honest interactions with men.

>-Is there a faction of men that be on some screwball
>fuckery?.....Yes.
>But dem ninjaz ain't the predominant default.
>

^^She seems to be saying that many violators (emphasizing men, though really her argument could apply to violators of any gender) are not held accountable for transgressions - in countless private and public settings - every single day. So the spontaneous focus on bathrooms is peculiar.** She doesn't feel apprehensive about cis- and trans- girls/women sharing bathrooms, but she does feel apprehensive about the fact that most vocal opponents of this practice seem to belong to the same group as those who most frequently violate, in general.

A little strawmannish, sure, but good points nonetheless. I read her logic as: if the 'bathroom equity' opponents think transgender persons warrant this much concern, then there should be colossal uproar and intervention against the countless transgressions committed by heterosexual males every day, all over the place.

**Especially if one considers that transgender individuals are, more frequently, the VICTIMS of sexual abuse/assault/violence as opposed to the perpetrators.


>-Has her conditioning been conditioned?...Yes.
>But in the spirit of endurance, she still owes it to herself
>to shed that victim-fabric

You know, I actually think a victim perspective is valid here? I mean, one side of this whole "Bathroom Debate" seeks to define and assign risk on behalf of a class of (presumed) victims. What's wrong with these (presumed) victims standing up and saying "Hey, I actually DON'T feel threatened by the group being villified. Like at all. Not even a little bit." Lol?


>grow comfortable in her own
>skin.
>The resulting renewed sense-of-self will cultivate the
>confidence
>needed to mitigate her mascuphobic disposition, a disposition
>doomed to impair her ability to have honest interactions with men.
>

^^Do you think these last comments you've made could serve as an example of what she describes here, though?:

"I’ve been taught to keep my emotions in check, to let you be the unit of measure for how much emotion is appropriate and to adjust my emotions accordingly."

The only video I've seen regarding this,
was the white woman standing in front
of Target with her little girl, cutting up
her Target card, saying she was moving
her business to Wal-mart due to the
new joined bathroom issue.

but I hadn't really been following it super closely myself to be honest.

Back in the 70's, if my moms, stepmoms, aunt, sisters, or any combination went to a public restroom, best believe my pops, stepfather, uncle, or someone kept watch. Not standing right next to the door like a guard, but keeping a watchful eye on it. When I got older, if one of my sisters or cousins had to use a public restroom my mother would send me with them to keep a lookout for pervs. It's only being made an issue because of the current round of hot-button issue nonsense.

Some men don't act in the broad generalisations given and a lot of women support the system. Not sure if the author touched on that and the piece could have benefitted from some stats, but I'm not mad at it. Folks will probably be too distracted by Bill Cosby or some other news story to pay it much mind though.

this piece made me think of all the okp dudes who used to go in on women and 5 years later they caping hard as shit to make up for past sins.

There was a thread about plus sized models and some dudes thought they were helping women and defending them when they were actually dogging the shit out of them.

it also comes across like women are too weak to defend themselves and need a man to step in and do their dirty work when dudes try and throw on that cape.

we all have opinions but a lot of times men need to stfu and let the women defend themselves instead of trying to "help" them or score a few points because they used to be on that good aged misogynoir

>

this piece made me think of all the okp dudes who used to go in on women and 5 years later they caping hard as shit to make up for past sins.

its always the ones who are super aggressive who got a shit load of bones in their closet.

its like those politicians who go hard on abortion, gays, etc... they always have 3 secret families, a gay lover and a side piece scandal that pops up.

i bet every dude standing guard at these bathrooms has at least 2 assault charges and a stalking charge in their file.

cant trust em

I'm sure I'm incorrect on this but I just picture old conservative white dudes or overzealous religious folks being the main force behind what the author is trying to address. I guess I'm saying I didn't get enough insight into who's the causing the problem.

with too much time on their hands.

transgender persons are victimized would have helped reinforce that the vast majority of these kids/adults are not predators, but are in fact preyed upon. From a policy perspective, there's more than enough evidence to support structured protections for this group.

Such stats would also draw attention to how abuse of transgendered kids/adults happens at shockingly high rates in settings which are supposed to be "safe" (eg. K-12, shelters, etc.) and by perpetrators who are supposed to be serving/protecting (eg. educational staff, prison staff, police, health professionals etc.)

For example:


http://www.ovc.gov/pubs/forge/sexual_numbers.html

The Numbers
Statistics documenting transgender people's experience of sexual violence indicate shockingly high levels of sexual abuse and assault. One in two transgender individuals are sexually abused or assaulted at some point in their lives. Some reports estimate that transgender survivors may experience rates of sexual assault up to 66 percent, often coupled with physical assaults or abuse. This indicates that the majority of transgender individuals are living with the aftermath of trauma and the fear of possible repeat victimization.

This section covers statistics related to the following topics:

Victims
Sexual violence has been found to be even higher in some subpopulations within the transgender community, including transgender youth, transgender people of color, individuals living with disabilities, homeless individuals, and those who are involved in the sex trade. For example, the 2011 Injustice at Every Turn: A Report of the National Transgender Discrimination Survey found that 12 percent of transgender youth report being sexually assaulted in K–12 settings by peers or educational staff; 13 percent of African-American transgender people surveyed were sexually assaulted in the workplace; and 22 percent of homeless transgender individuals were assaulted while staying in shelters.


Perpetrators
Sexual assaults can be perpetrated by any individual; however, it is particularly startling when professionals who are in "helping" roles abuse their power and sexually assault individuals they are supposed to be serving. Fifteen percent of transgender individuals report being sexually assaulted while in police custody or jail, which more than doubles (32 percent) for African-American transgender people. Five to nine percent of transgender survivors were sexually assaulted by police officers.4 Another 10 percent were assaulted by health care professionals.


Hate crimes
Sexual assault perpetrated against transgender individuals may be a component of an anti-transgender hate crime or may be linked to other demographic variables such as race. According to the National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs (NCAVP):

Acts of hate violence, such as harassment, stalking, vandalism, and physical and sexual assault, are often supported by more socially sanctioned expressions of transphobia, biphobia, and homophobia and are intended to send a message to LGBTQ communities. . . . Many LGBTQ people also face substantial bias because they belong to other traditionally marginalized groups along other axes of identity such as race, class, incarceration history, immigration status, or ability. . . . membership in more than one traditionally marginalized community can increase targeting for severe violence.

In the NCAVP 2009 report on hate violence, 50 percent of people who died in violent hate crimes against lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (LGBTQ) people were transgender women; the other half were male, many of whom were gender non-conforming. Sexual assault and/or genital mutilation before or after their murders was a frequent occurrence.

In 2009, 17 percent of all reported violent hate crimes against LGBTQ people were directed against those who identified themselves as transgender, with most (11 percent of all hate crimes) identifying as transgender women. The remainder identified as transgender men, genderqueer, gender questioning, or intersex.

Hate crimes are more prevalent against people of color. In 2009, 53 percent of LGBTQ hate crime victims were people of color Of the 22 anti-LGBTQ hate crime murders documented by NCAVP that year, 79 percent of the victims were people of color. As noted above, 50 percent (11 individuals) of the 2009 murders tracked were transgender women; of those, 9 were people of color (82 percent). Of the other 11 murders of gender non-conforming people, 5 (45 percent) were people of color.


Intimate partner violence
Many incidents of intimate partner violence include some form of sexual assault. According to the 2010 National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey, "bisexual women experienced significantly higher lifetime prevalence of rape and other sexual violence by an intimate partner when compared to heterosexual women" and "significantly higher lifetime prevalence of rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner when compared to lesbian and heterosexual women." Some studies indicate that between 20 and 35 percent of LGBTQ couples experience domestic violence. According to another, 50 percent of transgender people surveyed had been hit by a primary partner after coming out as transgender. LGBTQ youth report a 30 percent incidence of dating violence, compared to 9 percent for heterosexual students.

Only one in five LGBTQ victims of intimate partner violence or sexual assault get help from service providers.

:/

how the author conveniently ignores women that want to "guard" bathrooms as well.

And agreed on the generalizations. Because ya.. we know that young boys and girls tend to be brought up/socialized differently. However this point kind of falls apart when one considers that the same upbringing has also produced men that aren't, like, patriarchy-fueled marauders.

Still think it's useful to address healthy new approaches, though?



>Some men don't act in the broad generalisations given and a
>lot of women support the system. Not sure if the author
>touched on that and the piece could have benefitted from some
>stats

This is appalling and really overkill. No man needs to stand outside of any bathroom anywhere for any reason.

Though I wouldn't be surprised...

why not leave everything like it is... sheesh whats next will there be trans locker rooms at gyms....


this country ....wow....