it happens right?

but i wasnt expecting the reaction
"are u serious?"
"I am fucking depressed right now"
"this is some fucking bullshit"


it wasnt funny but i covered my mouth
to muffle the laugh cuz
i wanted to bust out laughin when she
said it.... it was so deadpan

then when she left she called me
and laid into me again

then she shot me a "sorry for being mean" text
this mornin



i know yall niggas got stories like this

lets share some laughs

you have to do a search on your name for a bdr haha. I don't have a short timer story.

hooked up with a chick I used to work with. was bored and called her. I told her I wasn't feeling well, but she was game anyway. I had no energy. I just stayed on my back the whole time. she did everything. next day, she told me I was boring. I laffed.

She was inexperienced but she was Asian so I rocked with it, plus she had big tits and put me onto Portishead.

She had that good, good that was vice grip and wet.

I never lasted more than 5 minutes. We laughed about it but inside I was extremely angry with myself. One time a busted 3 times in a 30 minute window.

I could usually go for 30 to 45 minutes but with her it was like American Pie.

>She was inexperienced

CHECK

>plus she had big tits (very - ed.)

>She had that good, good that was vice grip and wet.

CHECK

>I never lasted more than 5 minutes.

CHECK

>We laughed about it but
>inside I was extremely angry with myself.

CHECK

All that. But we diverge here, rounds 2 & 3 were normal for me. Well, normal for round 1 anyways lol.

Often times the girl wouldn't even notice and I'd be back in no time for the real deal.


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

Movies I need y'all bastids to see so we can discuss:

Five Star - https://goo.gl/jBHbVv
Appropriate Behavior - http://goo.gl/isCzTM
Ma

maybe i could have but i
was just like...sorry lol

I think my problem with the Asian is I was so used to different positions... and she would only do one.

Tried to flip her over but she didn't know how to back that thang up...

and since she had no ass... it wasn't a good look.

Which might explain alot of japanese porn.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

Movies I need y'all bastids to see so we can discuss:

Five Star - https://goo.gl/jBHbVv
Appropriate Behavior - http://goo.gl/isCzTM
Ma

lmao i was hurt

Like sometimes you feel yourself about to blaow! and you gotta do something right?

So sometimes taking that 10-20 seconds to change positions can give you a bit of a reprieve and buy you some time....I swear my sometimes my dick is like John McClaine on the roof with a dirty wifebeater on yelling "go, it's a trap!"

Then other times you gotta get your taint clinch on like the GI Joe with eh kung-fu grip. But some days when you do that you push it way back in the chamber and then you going for like 20-30 minutes like "where the fuck is this shit?"

Nuts be on that Schwarzennegger like "GET TO THE CHOPPA!!!" but that mofo lost in the jungle. Next thing you know shorty done got 1-2 joints in and I'm still looking for that feelin'......
______________________________________________________________________________

cscpov.blogspot.com

"There's a fine line between persistence and foolishness..."
-unknown

"To Each His Reach"

The finest girl I ever smashed was at the beach... thick, long hair, half Swedish, half Rican or some weird shit. Just utterly amazing with a JLo ass.

we went at it for an hour...

but I never busted.

she was like "what do I gotta do?" but it just wasn't anywhere to be found. We flipped, rolled, etc... all types of positions but no busta bust.

I still get mad at that shit too cause I deserved that nut after pulling ole girl.

Most of the time my girl gets one after I stopped myself from doing it. Sometimes trying to get the nut don't even be worth it.

>I swear
>my sometimes my dick is like John McClaine on the roof with a
>dirty wifebeater on yelling "go, it's a trap!"

Warrior Poet indeed fam...

Pull it out, chill for a minute, give it a stroke and reset the mission. As long as she doesn't wear out, I'll get that nut eventually. I have faked nuts before but that was on like round 4 or 5 of the day.

.....but 98 percent of the time I gotta fuck like a wild wombat to get that joint out again.....
______________________________________________________________________________

cscpov.blogspot.com

"There's a fine line between persistence and foolishness..."
-unknown

"To Each His Reach"

hit her with the 'I'm.......sorry'

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

kiss her on the cheek, roll over and go to sleep

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

Movies I need y'all bastids to see so we can discuss:

Five Star - https://goo.gl/jBHbVv
Appropriate Behavior - http://goo.gl/isCzTM
Ma

If you wanted to impress that girl you would have seen it coming, held on or stopped or whatever, and continued.

"Suprise nuts" are teenager shit.

the harder you try, the quicker it falls

i would only roast someone i'm regularly having sex with
i would talk mad shit in my head if it's the first time
but be more delicate in conversations with him about it
every woman is thinking some variation of that even if she never says it aloud
feels like a waste of perfectly good

...or wait a few mins. Sometimes just put that jawn back in at 3/4 full and see if it fills back up. This is where going raw really pays off tho. With condoms, you minus well just forget it for a few hours.

300 seconds of aggressive pounding should be sufficient in some circumstances.

Poster was right that kegels help.

http://images.fineartamerica.com/images-medium-large/two-old-gas-pumps-2-tatyana-searcy.jpg

>http://images.fineartamerica.com/images-medium-large/two-old-gas-pumps-2-tatyana-searcy.jpg

RE: We knew you were a chump, and now we know exactly what kind.
You feel I'm a chump because I encouraged the OP instead of clowning him. Yeah, you're trolling.

You've got a standing invitation superhero. STALK, STALK, STALK ME SOME MORE. Only lames call people chumps.

Before you respond, wipe my nut off your chin.

What type of man worries speaks on another man's alleged dick game? You're a stalking lame and this is fun. Motherfucker I wasn't talking to you but you clearly want my attention. Once again, I'm flattered by your actions. It's real cute.

OP needs to do kegels, not jack off, and meditate.

>What type of man worries speaks on another man's alleged dick
>game?

Your aggressive idiocy continues to astound and entertain

>
>>What type of man worries speaks on another man's alleged
>dick
>>game?
>
>Your aggressive idiocy continues to astound and entertain

The only aggressive idiots are you and that funboy Charlie. No, I didn't do that but carry on.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qXwzLsz43Co

very dark times and the girl who was my girlfriend at the time kinda totally liked sex. once my shit stopped working shit went bad quick. people need love and sex and when one affects the other thats a wrap.

i was a fucking mess for a bit. just unfocused and frustrated about everything.


eh. sucked but im glad i went through it

Sex is just like verbal communication in the sense that the majority of it isn't done through physical means. If you're not all together emotionally and mentally, it's not going to happen for you. And we need to do a better job of not chastising people in situations like this.

Visual and physical stimulation sometimes just isn't enough when your mental is already out the door.

this was early in the game, a long time ago during my first years of college.

Bonnie was a friend who invited me over to hang out with her because she was afraid after hearing some "loud noises" outside of her apartment.

I ended up spending the night, to calm her worried mind.

This led to us boning for the first time.

I'm not really sure how long I lasted. That didn't really matter. What mattered is that she never did.

Somehow, on a separate occasion, I ended up back in her bed. Somehow this time she came before I did. And to my shock and silent horror, she immediately stopped the sex session, looked me dead in the eyeballs while she said "I guess we're even now," and promptly lay down and fell asleep.

Lesson. Learned.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

Movies I need y'all bastids to see so we can discuss:

Five Star - https://goo.gl/jBHbVv
Appropriate Behavior - http://goo.gl/isCzTM
Ma

imo the first time or even the first couple times may have a feeling out process but unless it's a situation where it's like a quickie or something, sure why not? once i can make you bust once i can make you bust every time pretty much, as long as you are into it. sometimes, sure, she is just seeing you're hard as fuck and doing you a solid. those times don't count. those are exhibition games.

>imo the first time or even the first couple times may have a
>feeling out process but unless it's a situation where it's
>like a quickie or something, sure why not? once i can make you
>bust once i can make you bust every time pretty much, as long
>as you are into it. sometimes, sure, she is just seeing you're
>hard as fuck and doing you a solid. those times don't count.
>those are exhibition games.


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

Movies I need y'all bastids to see so we can discuss:

Five Star - https://goo.gl/jBHbVv
Appropriate Behavior - http://goo.gl/isCzTM
Ma

Sex is a two person pursuit... not one man and a sack of meat.

Girl I deal with now...zero idea how, but she can make me cum just from kissing on my ears and neck real tough. She doesn't get mad, and obviously she's done it enough times for it to happen like three damn times, but even she is shocked/amazed at it. Like, it can be ZERO contact on my dick and it happens, shit is crazy as hell.

At least I go way longer on the second round. But that shit be wild.

I got this jawn right now, 4'10" and slim with a HUGE ass booty. She is so sensual, she kisses like the top of my ear and it sends a laser through that whole side of my body. It's so intense I like to save it up. But it doesn't bring me to orgasm, I dunno, very different kind of feeling. She is down for whatever though, it's funny too because she is like the quietest and most unassuming person but one of the bigger freaks I have ever met.

yea it's just something super sensual about it. And it def ain't a right away thing to orgasm off it, it'll be after we already went at it for 30-40 minutes and I've been worked up, but it's still some shit I never imagined b

Something bout her drive you crazy? I.e looks, talk, etc.?

Them type of bitches have you questioning hella shit

We have always been back and forth, and I don't think either of us have truly wanted to be with the other person. Hell, we not really getting along as of today! But when we are on the same page......yeah.

.

No stunt, my dick-control be focused tho.
30/45+ minute sessions and be able to cum on cue.

On the humble, think it might be a residual effect
of my martial-arts training. <<That ish gives you an entirely
different type of control/focus over your body as a whole.

Be givin Jawns ninja-death-touch-DimMak-type strokes n shit.

O_O

My reload time is almost instant tho...

I'll tell chicks straight up, I might legit nut after 2 minutes but then I gotchu...

I guess I was like that until maybe my early 20s.

I can remember one time I had this bad lil milf, ufff, petite but with D cups and a roooooooooootund booty. She was very pretty, too, great hands. Usually the first time I smang I am a little uncomfortable but the first time was great. The next day I saw her again and after a long build up (massages, shower together, sticking it in and pulling it out, long BJ, etc) I was out in like 90 seconds. I remember she was like "I'm sorry." At first I thought she was clowning me but she seemed to genuinely feel bad. We got it in a few more times and then my work trip ended. I really wish I would have kept in contact with her, cool ass chick, didn't let a bad performance send me to the pine.

http://www.reactiongifs.us/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/amateur_hour_anchorman.gif

Hooked up with a girl after a night at an electronic music festival... we'd both been hitting the Mandy and pills pretty hard and were ready to go by the time we got to the tent... it must've been 90 minutes pounding than thing before I finally admitted I was never gonna finish...

Shorty and I used to work the phones together, and she would be on the bus talking CASH SHIT!!!

No worries....we played the game for a bit and then I got her over to the crib and I'm like "ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIIIIIIIIIGHT!!"

She tells me she's multiorgasmic....I'm like "multiorwhatmic?"

Anyway....we get into it and I'm putting forth an EXTREMELY average performance because I'm still relatively new to the game.

She gets hers.....locks her legs out like don't touch me, I'm sensitive....

I start talking slick in her ear....we go again.

She gets hers....locks her legs out....starts shaking and shit.

Meanwhile I'm sitting here in between running laps around the house and cupping these smurf colored balls I have....

We tried that like 2 more times....

After that 4th time...she literally was too sensitive to even shake her hand w/o shudders.

Then she went home.

"SHE GOT HERRZ....I AIN'T GET MIIIIINEZ....I'M LIKE FUCK!!!"

D

At least my man who was hitting it was telling us that. We was like Ninja please. I didn't believe it but had me giving her the eye when I was over at the crib.

Then I later heard it was a thing. It didn't matter, even if a girl thought she was having 30 a night and actually wasn't it still sounds like an adventure.


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

Movies I need y'all bastids to see so we can discuss:

Five Star - https://goo.gl/jBHbVv
Appropriate Behavior - http://goo.gl/isCzTM
Ma

Most women only want oral anyway, they dont get as much from sex (mostly)

When I want to Bust I want to BUST. Its my god-given right as the man of my house to plant one deeply when I FEEL like it.

I also love my woman and don't want to cheat her out of her orgasm.

Lick her until she screams while you getting turned on from her body and voice then bust uncontrollably and go to sleep knowing you wont hear her mouth about being unsatisfied.


End of mission with all happy parties.

Please don't believe this. Women like to cum from dick. Oral is great prep. But dick is necessary!

.

Nothing worse than being teased for a long ass time, brought to the brink and then being expected to lay down an extended stroke session.

But to me, the WORST worst is girls who literally think you explode when you want, and they claim it's ALLLL mind control. It's been times that I could think about Ghandi rotting in the Grand Canyon with two coyotes giving each other tattoos, and I'm still gon let it go.

>It's been times that I could think about Ghandi rotting in the
>Grand Canyon with two coyotes giving each other tattoos, and
>I'm still gon let it go.

My thing in *that* moment used to be the alphabet backwards. Unfortunately, I got to know it too well so I switched to difficult multiplications, like 37 times 48 and shit like that. Unfortunately, I'm great at math...

http://dc383.4shared.com/img/Z-HpX0Xc/s3/what_the.gif

___________________________________________________________


DJTB YOMM

I remember there was this girl I been smitten with all through middle and high school that the whole hood nicknamed Big Titty Toni. It was to the point that she answered to that shit.

Seeing as though early in life I was pretty much a Grade-A bamma, I had no chance with Double T-roy but I got cooler as the years went on and I hit 18 and FINALLY got her to my mom's basement but the shit didn't go as hoped.

I wasn't fapping then and I relied on my sporadic romps in the sack in high school to let the air out of my tires. We're in the basement, necking, kissing, making out, I'm finger popping, doing all I the first to second to third base shit I know how to do before I slides into home plate.

But the bra was my undoing, my niggas.

I never fooled with a girl, at that time, with titties as big as Toni's. We're talking a girl that was probably 110 pounds soaking wet and 50 of them pounds was titty and the rest was ass meat. She had a four hook bra. At that time in my titty unloosening game, I just unhooked two-hook jumpoffs. I never seent a 32F titty before in my life up until this point and so I had some issues.

In the midst of me unhooking her bra, I cut my finger in such a way that blood shot everywhere on her back, on her shirt, my jeans, the couch, etc. It was such a tragedy and she was all set to go home and leave me sitting in my mom's basement with my gun cocked, locked and loaded. I was about to be MC Smurf Balls out that jount but she got over it...took one of my Champion hoodies and said let's try.

So in all that excitement and rush and worry, my dick sensitivity must have kicked up a notch but there's no knowing this until you put the tip in.

So, as I'm about to enter Shangri-La, I noticed my legs and shit were shaky and my nuts felt like they were the Hoover Dam about to spill over but I was certain I was gonna rock the house. To this day, this is why I don't look at no jiggly titties or ass pieces whilst I'm in the mix of coitus.

I had my eyes closed at first then I looked down and seent them HOMINA HOMINAS Toni had all loose and shit and I cold busted off one of the meanest nuts of my life. I was out that jount drooling like Biz Markie, b. I was probably rockin' and shockin' for like 3-4 minutes tops.

Toni joned on me for a good two weeks and I think the whole hood knew I had the Happy Nuts and busted off a Hee-Hee jount all fast.

Next time we got it in, though, your boy redeemed himself.

_____________________________________________________
"You can win with certainty with the spirit of "one cut". "Musashi Miyamoto

Its almost always because of exceptional jammers

Lol

*like that*