Okayplayer.com Boards - Printer friendly page, topic ID #12893727 -

Forum name

General Discussion

Topic subject

Quick Question and be honest:

Topic URL

http://board.okayplayer.com/okp.php?az=show_topic&forum=4&topic_id=12893727

12893727, Quick Question and be honest:
Posted by Damali, Wed Dec-31-69 07:00 PM

For whatever reason, Ive just introduced you to my mom; her name is Mary Mack. I tell you, this is my mom. You hear me call her mom. You see that she is ok with me calling her mom. What will you call her, right off the bat, without asking first?

d

Poll question: Quick Question and be honest:

Poll result (54 votes)
mom.	(3 votes)	Vote
Mary	(0 votes)	Vote
Ms. Mary	(0 votes)	Vote
Ms. Mack	(41 votes)	Vote
ma'am	(10 votes)	Vote

12893729, yellow
Posted by BigJazz, Wed Sep-09-15 11:23 AM

***
I'm tryna be better off, not better than...

12893730, if you introduced her as your mom, without a name
Posted by luminous, Wed Sep-09-15 11:25 AM

i would just call her ma'am. i would not know to call her Ms... or Mrs... so I would just go with ma'am.

12893914, yeah, how would we know to call her ms. mack?
Posted by kinetic94761180, Wed Sep-09-15 02:41 PM

(which is what would be my learned preference)

12893734, sir or maam. standard introductory greeting for any elder person
Posted by atruhead, Wed Sep-09-15 11:29 AM

12893738, teal...out of habit
Posted by Dstl1, Wed Sep-09-15 11:30 AM

.

12893740, ms mack unless u introd her as mary, or she asks me 2 call her mary
Posted by dba_BAD, Wed Sep-09-15 11:32 AM

n/m

12893741, In 15+ years, I've never addressed my M.I.L. by anything at all....
Posted by FLUIDJ, Wed Sep-09-15 11:32 AM

literally NEVER.

If she's not within earshot, or facing me, I just wait until she is before I speak to her.....

"Get ready..for your blessing..."

12893744, haha, wtf?
Posted by KiloMcG, Wed Sep-09-15 11:34 AM

12893765, it's never come up. she just spent a full 10-days with us too..thought I was
Posted by FLUIDJ, Wed Sep-09-15 11:46 AM

finally going to have to break the streak.....but I was steadfast and maintained lol...

"Get ready..for your blessing..."

12893745, I've always called my in-laws by their first names
Posted by Mack, Wed Sep-09-15 11:34 AM

They were Mr. and Mrs. before marriage and their first names after, but I've never called them mom and dad and don't think I ever will.

12893769, at this point, I don't even know how to approach it. she don't be talkin bout shit
Posted by FLUIDJ, Wed Sep-09-15 11:50 AM

about shit anyways...

"Get ready..for your blessing..."

12893755, that is so weird
Posted by legsdiamond, Wed Sep-09-15 11:40 AM

12893766, the first 5-years it was....but now...it's a lifestyle choice
Posted by FLUIDJ, Wed Sep-09-15 11:46 AM

"Get ready..for your blessing..."

12893775, haha
Posted by KiloMcG, Wed Sep-09-15 11:52 AM

12893777, my M.I.L and I don't speak at all. Ever.
Posted by ThaAnthology, Wed Sep-09-15 11:53 AM

I pass messages through the wife like "Thank her for watching the boy last week."

12893786, It ain't even no beef shit or nothing, We get along fine, I like her....
Posted by FLUIDJ, Wed Sep-09-15 11:56 AM

I actually probably have more casual convo with her than my wife does even....

"Get ready..for your blessing..."

12893779, lmao.. this is so weird.
Posted by legsdiamond, Wed Sep-09-15 11:53 AM

12893789, We gonna renew our vows on our 20th Anniversary, I'ma call her "Mom"
Posted by FLUIDJ, Wed Sep-09-15 11:58 AM

at the ceremony. She probably gonna be surprised and in tears.....gonna plan the whole joint around it... it's gonnna be sooo BOSS yo...

"Get ready..for your blessing..."

12893841, i can hear it now
Posted by legsdiamond, Wed Sep-09-15 12:40 PM

nigga, it took you 20 years to address me?

12893782, thinking about more though, I call her husband by his first name....
Posted by FLUIDJ, Wed Sep-09-15 11:54 AM

but they were married after my wife had moved away from home....
so that's how she addresses him, so I just followed that from her.

"Get ready..for your blessing..."

12893821, yup, i can see that. If you aren't around them alot its weird to call them
Posted by Cenario, Wed Sep-09-15 12:26 PM

mom.

12893900, same here, man. LOL.
Posted by Government Name, Wed Sep-09-15 02:19 PM

12893902, lol me either
Posted by Gangsta Mittens, Wed Sep-09-15 02:22 PM

12893742, yellow
Posted by Mack, Wed Sep-09-15 11:32 AM

but I may sing the Miss Mary Mack Mack Mack song out of habit.

12893758, lulz
Posted by luminous, Wed Sep-09-15 11:41 AM

12893743, I'd say Ms. Mack. If someone asked me who she was I'd say "Your Mom"
Posted by Buddy_Gilapagos, Wed Sep-09-15 11:33 AM

since that is who you told me she was.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

Movies I need y'all bastids to see so we can discuss:

Five Star - https://goo.gl/jBHbVv
Appropriate Behavior - http://goo.gl/isCzTM
Ma

12893752, RE: Quick Question and be honest:
Posted by Sarah_Bellum, Wed Sep-09-15 11:38 AM

If you and I are friends then I will call her Ms. Mary. If we know each other only professionally and/or you are not black I will call her Ms. Mack. Note; I am from the south.

____________________________________

DJTB YOMM

12893759, Is this about the Ice-T post?
Posted by -DJ R-Tistic-, Wed Sep-09-15 11:44 AM

From yesterday?

12893780, of course
Posted by KiloMcG, Wed Sep-09-15 11:53 AM

12893767, Follow up question: why would you not call her mom? i did.
Posted by Damali, Wed Sep-09-15 11:46 AM

clearly she's ok with being called that...

d

12893773, She didn't birth me
Posted by ThaAnthology, Wed Sep-09-15 11:51 AM

I don't call other people parents "Mom". Never did. Never will. Mrs Blank is good enough for me. Or if we are that familiar, I abbreviate Mrs. B. No further though.

I even know ladies that prefer I call them Mom. I say ok Mrs. B.

12893774, Oh, it IS about that?
Posted by John Forte, Wed Sep-09-15 11:52 AM

I would have gone with the "nigga" analogy.

12893823, lol
Posted by Cenario, Wed Sep-09-15 12:27 PM

12893853, the fact that you think the "nigga" analogy is the only one
Posted by dew drops, Wed Sep-09-15 12:49 PM

very much says something.

12893866, it says you are lying... cause he never said it was the only one
Posted by legsdiamond, Wed Sep-09-15 01:14 PM

12893895, lolololol
Posted by Dstl1, Wed Sep-09-15 02:16 PM

.

12893787, but people would call her your MOM
Posted by legsdiamond, Wed Sep-09-15 11:56 AM

so this shit is a fail...

12893791, ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Posted by -DJ R-Tistic-, Wed Sep-09-15 11:59 AM

EXACTLY what I came to say!!!!

I understand...he shouldn't have called her Ice T's "bottom bitch." But if Ice T calls her "wife," I wouldn't meet her and say "Hey wife," yet, I will refer to her as Ice-T's Wife.

So..........yeah. Complete logic fail LOL.

12893801,
Posted by MiracleRic, Wed Sep-09-15 12:06 PM

12893811, lmao, yup
Posted by micMajestic, Wed Sep-09-15 12:15 PM

>so this shit is a fail...
>
>
>
>

Let my love slide in and never slip out

12893828, http://tinyurl.com/mrwho7y
Posted by Cenario, Wed Sep-09-15 12:30 PM

http://tinyurl.com/mrwho7y

12893804, Never called anybody mom who wasn't my mom
Posted by chillinCHiEF, Wed Sep-09-15 12:08 PM

I don't think my mom would like that

12893822, she's not my mom, she is your mom
Posted by luminous, Wed Sep-09-15 12:27 PM

i would refer to her as Damali's mom when speaking about her... but i would not call her Damali's mom... as in "Excuse me, Damali's mom, can you pass me the salt please?"

12893833, um did somebody say 'Hey Ice T's bottom Bitch' to her
Posted by Cenario, Wed Sep-09-15 12:33 PM

bc that isn't the same as typing it on a message board that she 99% won't see.

This is such a logic fail.

12893838, my wife calls my mom "mom", I call her mom Ms. (first name)
Posted by atruhead, Wed Sep-09-15 12:36 PM

but from other replies this seems to be rooted in a Ice-T post I never clicked

12893904, She's not my mom
Posted by Gangsta Mittens, Wed Sep-09-15 02:23 PM

12894066, wait. what? why?
Posted by dba_BAD, Wed Sep-09-15 11:01 PM

n/m

12893768, Ma'am. I don't do the whole Mr/Ms/Mrs thing outside of professional settings
Posted by John Forte, Wed Sep-09-15 11:48 AM

Now that I'm a parent, I'm not sure what I want my kids' friends to call me.

12893776, THIS is a quandary for me too. My neighbor's kids are all of age where they
Posted by FLUIDJ, Wed Sep-09-15 11:52 AM

have the language skills to formally address my wife and I. I noticed that the one neighbor has been correcting her kids to address me as Mr. FLUIDJ...I like that. I prefer that children address nearby adults in a more formal fashion.

"Get ready..for your blessing..."

12893854, I'm the opposite.
Posted by tariqhu, Wed Sep-09-15 12:52 PM

I don't like kids calling me Mr. that's not a sign of respect to me. just call me by my name.

12893878, I learned in the army that titles go both ways
Posted by John Forte, Wed Sep-09-15 01:43 PM

Captain Smith doesn't call Sgt Jones "Jones", he calls him "Sgt Jones" because both men deserve the respect of their title. I carried with me when I got out. If I address you by a title, it means that our relationship is formal or professional, which means you should also call me by my title. I'd rather be on a first name basis with people.

12893922, exactly.
Posted by tariqhu, Wed Sep-09-15 02:55 PM

first name basis. I'll get my respect as an adult from a child, but not because of them calling Mr. SoAndSo.

12893794, They do this thing here where they say "Hi Jake's Dad". Awkward but works
Posted by Buddy_Gilapagos, Wed Sep-09-15 12:02 PM

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

Movies I need y'all bastids to see so we can discuss:

Five Star - https://goo.gl/jBHbVv
Appropriate Behavior - http://goo.gl/isCzTM
Ma

12893874, Yeah, I'm definitely [girl's name]'s dad
Posted by John Forte, Wed Sep-09-15 01:36 PM

12893797, My wife and all her friends call each other parents "mom" and "dad"
Posted by Buddy_Gilapagos, Wed Sep-09-15 12:04 PM

I could never get with that.

It took some adjustment to call my MiL Mom but I know she appreciates it. I always called my FiL "Mr. _____" out of respect.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

Movies I need y'all bastids to see so we can discuss:

Five Star - https://goo.gl/jBHbVv
Appropriate Behavior - http://goo.gl/isCzTM
Ma

12893805, This is about godcams post...two very different cases....
Posted by Seven, Wed Sep-09-15 12:10 PM

..Can't apply one to the other for many reasons...

12893825, Cyan. I'm southern raised
Posted by DVS, Wed Sep-09-15 12:28 PM

To clarify...

I will call you "ma'am" if I am responding to your question or anything where I already have your intention.

But if I"m trying to get your attention....I'll call you Mary

Mary: Did you call me?
Me: Yes Ma'am

D

12893835, How would she liked to be addressed as?
Posted by BabyYoda, Wed Sep-09-15 12:35 PM

I personally would call her Ms. Mack, but if she prefers to be addressed as mom or her first name, then I would oblige. I would feel uncomfortable calling someone mom unless we had a STRONG rapport.

12893837, if we homies, I would say mom jokingly
Posted by soken, Wed Sep-09-15 12:36 PM

in hopes that this meeting is followed by a home cooked meal.

12893848, none of the above....
Posted by sevencents, Wed Sep-09-15 12:45 PM

I would call her, Ms Mary Mack...mack mack...all dressed in black...black....black.
with silver buttons...buttons...buttons....all down her back....back...back.

12893851, from Ta-Nehisi Coates
Posted by dew drops, Wed Sep-09-15 12:47 PM

http://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2014/03/politics-and-the-african-american-human-language/284228/

"As I've explained before, the meaning of human language changes with context. That is why you may call your wife honey, but I probably should not. That is why Toby Keith referring to himself as "White Trash With Money" will never be the same as me accusing Toby of being "white trash with money." That is why Dan Savage proposing a column entitled "Hey Faggot!" will never be the same as me seeing Dan Savage on the street and yelling "Hey Faggot!" This is how humans use language, and it is wholly consistent with how black humans use language. The effort to punish this use, like all respectability politics, is an effort to punish black humanity, is racism. "

12893872, you are using this all types of wrong
Posted by legsdiamond, Wed Sep-09-15 01:30 PM

people will refer to Dan Savages piece as the "Hey Faggot" price and the only people who would be outraged are those who don't know he has a segment with that name.

Pretty sure people also refer to Toby Keith as the white trash name he gave himself. "You going to see TK? Hell yeah, white trash with money 8s my boy!"

so when someone says... who is that white girl with the fat ass? and someone says "that's Ice T's bottom bitch, CoCo"

it's not a big deal. My wife is from the south and she schooled me on the bottom dollar bitch way back when we first met. I thought it was throwing shade but she was like nah, the bottom dollar bitch is the #1.

the only people offended by that term are the people who have no idea it's something those women take pride in. They put in work to get that label.

12893855, if we close I'll call her moms or aunty
Posted by Regina Rose, Wed Sep-09-15 12:52 PM

12893870, YELLOW until SHE says, "..you can call me _____"
Posted by infin8, Wed Sep-09-15 01:28 PM

thass it.

12893871, I would call her Ms. Bottom Bitch
Posted by justin_scott, Wed Sep-09-15 01:29 PM

.

12893873, closes piano
Posted by legsdiamond, Wed Sep-09-15 01:31 PM

by yall

12893888, i'm surprised it took this long...
Posted by BigJazz, Wed Sep-09-15 02:05 PM

12893896, damn, Mash was right...some of yall cats are savages
Posted by Dstl1, Wed Sep-09-15 02:17 PM

.

12894031, lol
Posted by kinetic94761180, Wed Sep-09-15 08:55 PM

12894063, Cmon man...no need to go there
Posted by Seven, Wed Sep-09-15 10:31 PM

12893887, Lol @ the "and be honest"
Posted by Cenario, Wed Sep-09-15 02:03 PM

12893894, yo' mama
Posted by Atillah Moor, Wed Sep-09-15 02:10 PM

12893903, i'm so confused
Posted by Government Name, Wed Sep-09-15 02:23 PM

12893911, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EsGNL9K5mUk
Posted by thegodcam, Wed Sep-09-15 02:31 PM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EsGNL9K5mUk

12894054, Damali's Mom is what I would call her
Posted by sosumi, Wed Sep-09-15 10:10 PM

until she corrected me

not married but much like dude above, I have avoided addressing friends'
parents by any names directly for like 15 plus years...