And by sorry for shit, I mean they was wrong, everybody and they mama know they was wrong, but they just will not admit fault the nary. Oh and yes they blood. And you been making excuses for them for a while cause to this day you love the fuck out of them, but they crossed a line which should have never been crossed.

I know the TOKPR is to write them off blood or not. But I know how that shit goes. It just festers inside of you until you can find some way to forgive or until they die. And even in death that shit can haunt you. So I just want to forgive them, but it's like can you forgive someone if you don't tell them you forgive them. And if you go ahead and tell them there's like a 50% chance their reaction to it will make it even worse.


█▆▇▅▇█▇▆▄▁▃
Big PEMFin H & z's
"I ain't no entertainer, and ain't trying to be one. I am 1 thing, a musician." � Miles

"When the music stops he falls back in the abyss."

Forgiveness is for your own health and sanity. Even if you don't or won't ever associate with them again, you can still let go of the bitterness and anger you're holding towards them for your own sake.




Since 1976

>Forgiveness is for your own health and sanity. Even if you
>don't or won't ever associate with them again, you can still
>let go of the bitterness and anger you're holding towards them
>for your own sake.



__
I don't like the beat anymore because its just a loop. ALC didn't FLIP IT ENOUGH!

Flip it enough? Flip these. Flip off. Go flip some f*cking burgers.(c)Kno

Allied State of the National Electric Beat Treaty Organization (NEBTO)

>And by sorry for shit, I mean they was wrong, everybody and
>they mama know they was wrong, but they just will not admit
>fault the nary. Oh and yes they blood. And you been making
>excuses for them for a while cause to this day you love the
>fuck out of them, but they crossed a line which should have
>never been crossed.

There's too much backstory missing to really put forth a real opinion, but in general it's a situation where you need to establish within yourself what you're willing to accept. If that proverbial line was the proverbial last straw with after humping bails of hay for several years, that's one thing. If this is a one time foul on a nuclear level, it's another.

>I know the TOKPR is to write them off blood or not. But I
>know how that shit goes. It just festers inside of you until
>you can find some way to forgive or until they die. And even
>in death that shit can haunt you.

That's on you though. That's your personal choice to give such quarter, and it's your personal choice to shut that shit down. I sleep like a baby with zero regrets because I KNOW without a solitary shred of doubt that I didn't come to that conclusion lightly.

So I just want to forgive
>them, but it's like can you forgive someone if you don't tell
>them you forgive them. And if you go ahead and tell them
>there's like a 50% chance their reaction to it will make it
>even worse.

Their reaction is immaterial. If forgiveness is truly what is in your heart, you need to kill off all that residue and keep it moving. I'll write you off to the point where you're dead to me, but if I choose to forgive than that means I let everything go, even if I know you have no remorse. IMO, there's no other way to forgive and maintain your own sanity and integrity on the matter.

The mere thought of them makes me want to smash things. Which probably means I'm a long way from forgiveness. I just know I need to get there and am not sure how.

>If
>that proverbial line was the proverbial last straw with after
>humping bails of hay for several years, that's one thing. If
>this is a one time foul on a nuclear level, it's another.

More the former than the latter.

>>I know the TOKPR is to write them off blood or not. But I
>>know how that shit goes. It just festers inside of you until
>>you can find some way to forgive or until they die. And
>even
>>in death that shit can haunt you.
>
>That's on you though. That's your personal choice to give such
>quarter, and it's your personal choice to shut that shit down.
>I sleep like a baby with zero regrets because I KNOW without a
>solitary shred of doubt that I didn't come to that conclusion
>lightly.

I mean like you said it's me, and you have your experience. Thing is that everyone isn't going to experience the same. You should consider yourself lucky, because I know of folk that have written folk off or let them ass without resolving and in both cases it festered. That's why I'm asking. It worked for you but I'm not sure how one gets to that place.


>Their reaction is immaterial.

This is what I don't get. You say look I'm willing to forgive all this to make a little peace and their like forgive for what? Fuck you nigga!! Can't just pop em in they mouth and call it forgiveness can you?

> If forgiveness is truly what is
>in your heart, you need to kill off all that residue and keep
>it moving.

But how?

>I'll write you off to the point where you're dead
>to me, but if I choose to forgive than that means I let
>everything go, even if I know you have no remorse. IMO,
>there's no other way to forgive and maintain your own sanity
>and integrity on the matter.

But is it just you coming to that conclusion and ultimately writing them off anyway or do you actively let them know they are forgiven?


█▆▇▅▇█▇▆▄▁▃
Big PEMFin H & z's
"I ain't no entertainer, and ain't trying to be one. I am 1 thing, a musician." � Miles

"When the music stops he falls back in the abyss."

.
.
.
"Love your haters until they can love themselves and then love them further." ~ J. Case

Either way, the person you are talking about probably d/won't gaf, so whatever choice you make, you do it for your own peace of mind. Also, if someone you love dearly is like what you described, then perhaps it may be time to cut ties or severely limit interaction with said loved one and move on with your life. This is how I see it. #shrugs

In other words... if you can think of their wrongdoing a personal flaw instead of an action against you it can help you move on.

___________________________________________________________


DJTB YOMM

NO GOOD comes from being around these types of people. At least, don't put yourself in a position where they can affect your life.

Sorry, there's no cheat codes for this.

Especially when it's someone you can't cut ties with.

There's no road map...it just takes time.
I've found that people who do foul shit despite you telling them how it feels either don't care or can't help it. If it's blood and you can't cut ties...something has to change..business as usual is unhealthy.
Only you can decide that change...it cld be lowering/removing all expectations of that person or changing the level of contact you have...something.

But it takes time man...you can't rush it...and don't buy that bullshit people sell these days about having to have to forgive this minutE and feeling rage etc is weakness / lack of control..
Do you, take your time and be gentle with self

yep

i had to do this with my father (never admitted he was wrong)
took about 6 years
needed a lot of distance
and i'm happy with where we are now (distance i see him at family functions and converse)
he isn't
ah wells
lol
~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

Some times you enjoy peoples companies and friendship even though you know they ain't shit and can't be trusted.

If you know this and treat them accordingly doesn't mean you can't hang with them or enjoy their company, you just might not lend them money or let them watch your kids.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

Movies I need y'all bastids to see so we can discuss:

Five Star - https://goo.gl/jBHbVv
Appropriate Behavior - http://goo.gl/isCzTM
Ma

A professional might have different/better strategies than we can offer.

talk to someone about it... someone you can trust... your spouse or best friend... if you have nobody to talk to, you can journal your thoughts.

write a letter to the person... telling them how you feel. don't mail it to that person.

you can also visualize having a conversation with that person and having the outcome that you want.

realize that you can not control people or situations, only your reactions to them. accept that the person is not perfect. take it as a learning experience. be careful with how you deal with that person in the future.

i would recommend not have direct contact with the person until your emotions have simmered down.

and you just have to accept that you can't help them be better, that they don't wanna be better,
and there's no way to go into the past and clean up the messes they've made.

If you can really fully accept that, you'll find yourself able to actually look at them
with compassion AND you'll keep them in the space in your life allotted for people who ain't shit.
Meaning, you pretty much won't get hurt by them because they don't have the chance.

I could've said this much more eloquently, but I gotta go to work now, lol.

I do hope you sort your feelings out. Please don't let it eat you up like I did for a couple years.

if you don't care to forgive because they truly aren't shit then that's perfectly okay too.
I checked out of the forgiveness cult a while ago, been SO freeing.

irregardless (c) sugastix mama

the burden
{feastering}
can only be carried when you don't