They are both are really harmful tropes that lead to people searching for some conceptual ideal human that they've never met but are so SURE exist. If you ask people what is wifeable... half of them will say "Ill know it when I see it" like they themselves can't even imagine it or point to some celebrity without a fully formed personality. All that shit does not enable people to connect fully with a normal ass quality person. All I ever hear is that for one reason or another a girl is "good on paper" but never quite "right." That's because you're looking for the "wifeable" fantasy. A wifeable woman is a mythical creature like a unicorn. Only two on earth and one got left behind in Noah's flood.
Of the married people I know, most of them are compatible and in love but they are not special snowflakes with all these magical qualities. They are regular ass basic people who decided to throw their lot in together. Her ass sags something terrible, his balls are ripe 3 days a week. She ain't a great cook, he ain't that handy. He lacks ambition, she keeps a messy house. They are a pair of sixes to the world but 10's to each other fully committed to being regular and reasonably happy together. They are not special snowflakes but realistic, compatible and in love. Not that I'm saying just put a ring on anything walking but the wifeable trope has given a lot of dudes who never had married parents a way to deflect that they have no idea how to realistically choose a partner just like women looking for Prince Charmings. If your over 30 and talking about being women being wifeable, that's probably you unless you're an extremely late bloomer with poor social skills.
The scarcity of marriage among black folks makes us think husband and wife "material" must be otherworldly, when frankly it's never been that way since the beginning of time.
I know there are lots of horror stories in marriages but many of those people weren't compatible or crazy in very basic fundamental ways, it wasn't that they were regular quality people.
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