ok so I'm in LA....(actually an hour outside of LA in the fucking sticks)

my cousin is in her early 40s and has a 9 year old son. she lives with her mom, my aunt, but my aunt is currently out of town.

my cousin also has a boyfriend of 6 months. he has a 10 year old that was diagnosed with leukemia 3 weeks ago and has been in the hospital.

so i come in for a visit and i'm staying here. my cousin hinted at me helping her out and i was like ok, thinking she needed me to just help out around the house and help with the kid. but the day before yesterday, she asked if i could take her son to the pediatrician and i'm like...where you gon' be and in a roundabout way she said she was going to spend the night (so she could be there for her bf since his son is sick).

so last night she didn't come home either. two nights she's been away from the house, apparently trying to be there for her boyfriend while his son is sick. she's also studying for a sigma 6 exam that she's taking next week so that's another factor.

I'm trying to focus on building strong boundaries. i'm not really feeling this whole situation, but there's also a sick child involved. i don't know if I'm being insensitive in not wanting to help her anymore or if i'm justified.

i think this is the most relevant fact:

>my cousin also has a boyfriend of 6 months. he has a 10 year
>old that was diagnosed with leukemia 3 weeks ago and has been
>in the hospital.

so this part doesn't bother me:

>so last night she didn't come home either. two nights she's
>been away from the house, apparently trying to be there for
>her boyfriend while his son is sick.

if it's too much for you then bounce. none of that is your life. but give homegirl a heads-up and a day or 2 notice (the more the better) so she can make arrangements.

don't stay in the house. because all its' going to do is cause tension. if you dont' mind doing it but you need time for yourself then hit her up and say "hey i have plans to do xyz tonight, and i can't watch him. can you let me know when you will return or let me know when should i expect a babysitter to show up." (where is the kid's father anyway? can he come get him?).

yeah it sucks that she stayed away two nights in a row...did she tell you she wasn't coming back or did she just not come back?

so i'm not stuck here.

the kid's dad lives in new jersey.


>don't stay in the house. because all its' going to do is
>cause tension. if you dont' mind doing it but you need time
>for yourself then hit her up and say "hey i have plans to do
>xyz tonight, and i can't watch him. can you let me know when
>you will return or let me know when should i expect a
>babysitter to show up." (where is the kid's father anyway? can
>he come get him?).
>
>yeah it sucks that she stayed away two nights in a row...did
>she tell you she wasn't coming back or did she just not come
>back?

the night before last i knew she wasn't coming back. last night she didn't say anything, just didn't come back. i think that's what bothers me most--the sense of entitlement.

based on the story in the OP i don't see it.

but you know the situation. maybe you're basing that on facts you didn't include in the OP.

it sounds like you should go stay elsewhere.

regardless of all my insider info.

the appropriate thing would be to say, "do you mind watching him another night?"

that word seems kind of strong. But like SoWhat said, you have info we don't. I would find it odd if she didn't communicate with me all day after being gone overnight. and it could just be that she knows her son is in good hands and safe, and maybe something serious is happening with her boyfriend. but knowing me, I would have called or hit her up, especially if I took her son to the doctor's office, just to let her know how things went...

it just seems like a failure to communicate but to charge her with entitlement when she did ASK you if you were ok and you did agree is a bit much. it doesnt' seem like any stipulations about this situation were addressed by either party. This time right now is fragile, so I wouldn't take any of this to heart.

but it seems like you came for a vacation, and it got messed up by asking her to do something and you agreeing. just say that though...say you had plans to do xyz and you don't want to be a burden and since times are stressful, you will stay elsewhere.

but...she was helping her man deal w/a family emergency. she trusts you to watch her son while she deals w/it.

that's not entitlement.

the way i see this situation it's an emergency - all hands on deck. at least it is for her. if you can't/won't help out that's fine. so bounce.

.

Chickenpox.

Personally I'd try to do whatever I could to help out

HOUSE PARTY

http://www.vibe.com/2012/09/real-life-project-x-party-goes-viral-twitter/

This was like 10 minutes from my place and it was hilarious to me for like a month

you're staying for free, watching a kid two week nights so someone can help with a dying kid isn't that unreasonable to me
tell her you want your weekend and the rest of the time to yourself

relative or not, you just leaving your child in the care of someone else & not even checking up on them when you're away longer than anticipated?

Emergencies happen....but not calling or saying anything doesn't sit well with me.

But its not weird, every family has a cousn or 2 who doesnt call or stays out all night.

And asking you beforehand to do xyz, I don't see the issue. You can either do it or not. If she's telling you one thing and doing something else, or not giving you a heads up, then i'd feel a way about tha5.