from infancy, right? By making it a permission thing it sends a message that you don't think they were good parents. (or at least that's what my mom said lol)


because the realness is that they aren't going to follow your rules. they aren't going to do what you write down on that 56-point checklist. they will do what works for them, what had worked for them. They are going to spoil your kid rotten and give ZERO fucks about it and DARE you to say something to them about it.


I never felt as small as I did when my mom LAID me OUT because I said something to her about her grandmothering!