If you improved in your 30s...

Input especially valued from people who had troublesome 20s.

What did you do to make things go better? What areas was it that you worked on? Finance / Career. Personal / Personality. Family?

(Asking bc I have a lot of work to do, and its Tuesday, and its two days before my period, and I'm losing my shit)

and i actually have to work harder there than i do at my full time job. white collar vs. service industry. it felt good to work hard tho. and it opened my social life up. very few people get a new crew at 30, but i kinda did.
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it's true what they say...people are strange, when you're strangers.

not compassionate....only polite.

I am not like you at all and i cannot pretend.

i really need all these things. More friends in my life (I'm doing sorta better with this lately, but so much more to do). More money. More physicality in my work.

I just made some adjustments. but as people we should constantly strive to make improvements in our lives.


but I'm tired and I can't focus on doing annnnnny work right now....

on my 20s. like, i could erase most of that decade & it would make utterly no difference.

anyway, i have a long way to go but so far:
1. education
2. purposeful career choices
3. being more responsible financially

ugh how dull it al sounds! lol

like, i could erase most of that decade & it would
>make utterly no difference.
>

>
>ugh how dull it al sounds! lol

it doesn't sound dull! congrats on your progress.

specifically i graduated from law school, passed the Bar exam and found work as a lawyer.

i also worked on my family situation by applying things i'd learned in talk therapy.

cut out people and things that don't matter

don't be lame about it either. just quietly move away from folks. don't make some major announcement. most of the time those people won't notice or care anyway so it's all good

think about what you care about most-what you like to do especially. figure out ways to maximize the amount of time doing those things.

i'm still working on things but simplifying is helping tremendously.

to a certain extent...still workin on that...but it paid off $ wise
-stopped worrying about findin 'her'
-learned more about my parents...helped me put more things into perspective
-prayed more...got into the bible more
-kept being me

i did start chiefin again tho...hasn't slowed me down at all

research,
make a plan
then, 'lay the bricks'

As with most everything else in life, the answer is usually more about consistency than facility.

i thought i'd found a career path that i wanted to follow, but this past year, after a couple of job changes, i've found that i've pretty much lost interest in what i'm doing.

i guess i need to go back to school, but that didn't go too well the first time around.

>research,
>make a plan
>then, 'lay the bricks'
>
>As with most everything else in life, the answer is usually
>more about consistency than facility.

for me, that meant quitting a stable and well-paying job to join a startup. my career needed a jolt, and it got it BIG time.

start up?

my writing got rusty and i wasn't thinking strategically anymore. became a glorified paper pusher.

i felt i was too young for such complacency and joined the start up because i knew working on consulting would make me razor sharp, quick. it was sink or swim.

the first few months were ROUGH. kind of like a detox lol. but after a while the writing came easier, i was more creative and could think on my feet again.

don't know how long this will last, but every day i learn something. and i'm grateful.

i mean, i have a very long list of to-dos i could cite

but

really, just becoming a morning person changed so much

when you go to bed early and you get up early you are recharging your batteries
then when you get up early you have a whole fucking day to do EVERYTHING

having a child makes me get up earlier than i ever have and man, i can get so much more done

I actually get MORE shit done, and am less prone to procrastination. Also, it's more effective. WAY more ppl try to handled biz at lunch or after work.

.

If I can achieve THIS...Lawd knows...!!

#fixitJesus

Saturday, I woke up relatively early around 10, which is EARLY for me on a Sat. Yet by 3PM, I was burnt out and wanted a nap!

ive learned how to manipulate myself into changing base behavior

1. Went to law school
2. Got divorced
3. Had a LOT of sex.


~ ~ ~
All meetings end in separation
All acquisition ends in dispersion
All life ends in death
- The Buddha

|\_/|
='_'=

Every hundred years, all new people

-Saving money in even more ways. I got to a point that I felt I worked and had enough money to always have the best hotel, or to upgrade to the biggest TV just because I wanted it. Now, it's much more about priorities, even though I don't have to worry about kids or anything else

-Working out way more, and much more healthy diet. And not solely working out for "mirror muscles" but for long term benefits

-Ignoring certain things. Especially on social media, even on OKP. Some things aren't worth a response at all, and can drain you mentally.

-No video games unless it's social. I realized I really don't have ANY free time to do anything random. Even if I'm watching TV, I can fold clothes or something productive.

I need to be way more disciplined and focused though

actively pursued my drea/career
pushed myself to do things that scared me

defined the boundaries of what kind of behavior I will accept from people in the various relationships of my life.

Some of those "needs" were wants, but whatever lol, I moved to be happy with my career options and social life. That wise decision, and the job that eventually came with it, changed the game for me and set me onto a positive trajectory in my 30s.

Other things that have improved my life:
-Learning how to apply every breath I take toward achieving a goal

-Accepting that being in a relationship isn't everything, and that it certainly isn't a viable strategy for happiness

-Divesting people who don't contribute anything positive to my life (or better yet, not giving them any play in the first place)

-Spending more time on things and with people that matter

-Saving and investing money

-Seeking out new and exciting experiences rather than things

Took advantage of a few changes in some industries I've been in for years to make some loot

Stopped undervaluing my skill sets

Cut off mufuckas who brought only negativity to my life

Trusted myself more.

My twenties were fuuuuucked up, more due to self doubt than anything else.

Trusting my own intuition was huge

I paid off all those bills and bad credit items that I just let sit there and let damage my financial future. Started saving and spending wisely.

Therapy: I wasn't in a happy place in my mid 20's and let that spiral in to a deep depression after a bad break up. I ignored it up until I hit 30 and then started going to therapy to help straighten out my life.

Became more selfish, I basically started following my goals and not being such a big push over for other people.

Cut loose people who weren't making a positive impact in my life.

Yup...this ^^

Unless you were raised to do it, a smart person reaches a person where they realize that they have to start being more conscious of what they eat and how they live. Many of us start to late which makes it harder.


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"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson


"One of the most important things in life is what Judge Learned Hand described as 'that ever-gnawing inner doubt as to whether you're

My 20's are a blur of clubs, parties, and broads
I was burnt out at 28 and with nothing to show for it
at 30 I was like fuck this shit, and enlisted
being surrounded by a bunch of just out of HS kids put everything in perspective
I grinded, saved money, and got out
got married while I was in, and while it ultimately didn't work out, it gave me something to strive for other than my selfish pleasures
and leaving my comfort zone was crucial. Living on the other side of the country plus 2 deployments showed me who my real friends were. When I was the man about town I had tons of "friends" but when I came back after the Navy I could count them on one hand.

Done wonders for my health, physically, mentally & emotionally


does it really matter?

wonder what bin's doing?
http://i.imgur.com/phECCMp.jpg

Karma & having a positive mental attitude is real.

Always project positivity and allow it to work in your favor.

i got a life coach, and we talked about organizing my life into quadrants of what i wanted to work on, then had weekly check-ins to make sure i was achieving goals. i needed someone to check in with like having a personal trainer. after i got tired of paying, i joined a self-help group that met in Starbucks, that was off the Oprah.com message boards, i think it was called "Take Time for Your Life" (this was like 2005).

So the areas i was working on were Social Life, Career, and to a lesser degree financial and fitness. The biggest thing I improved was my social life. I joined social groups off of Craigslist, kind of meetup.com type groups. I met a few crazies but also made several good friends. Also had lot of new experiences such as going hiking, learning ballroom dance, wine tastings and trying different cuisines.

Back at that time of life living in New York with no friends, all of these were valuable exeriences to me.

ETA: i was also in therapy to get in touch w my emotions and straighten out my mental state

Health-wise, I became way more conscious of what I was eating, making sure I was actually exercising and removing unnecessary stressors.

Financially, I focused on saving (retirement and liquid) and making smarter spending decisions.

Ultimately, I've gotten more comfortable with the idea that I'm going to be around for another few decades. So, I started making decisions accordingly.