And I don't want some random emotions to come bubbling over out of the blue and what not. Yes, I'm trained to deal with death. Yeah, I was prepared for here passing. But people that know me or are my Facebook friends know that I was very close to my granny. Still, I haven't shed one tear and I'm hoping that I have not compartmentalized my emotions with a lock that will break one day.

It's crazy to know how things work and still have to be on the lookout.

Truth be told, I have been more pissed about how the funeral arrangements were handled then anything. The service was on this Wed 4/1. The whole thing was not managed with the level of excellence and detail that I expected. Sounds selfish, but yeah, it is. Why? Because a year before she died, my Gandma asked me to put together her funeral service form A to Z (every jot and tittle), but my aunt didn't want to us talking about it at the time. My Grandma also, asked me to do the Eulogy, but my Aunt and Sister elected to have the pastor of the church do the service, the same pastor that never came to see my grandmother in over 10 yrs and she didn't like him anyway. Plus the program was jacked up. But that's only in my eyes, because I know how these things should play put in the front and behind the scenes.

I guess I'm just feeling some kind of way about the fact that Grands wished were not honored, that I didn't get to send her off with the proper and personal touch sermon that the she deserved. The pastor did ok, but it was a generic sermon with a sprinkling of current detail in it.


I guess I'm tripp'in. Yup. I'm gonna go read a book... SMH






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"And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful." ~ 2 Tim 2:4