"I like what I like" seems to be a common phrase from a lot of folks when describing their preferences, or even standards.

Do you think it's actually a problem that some folks tend to prefer one thing over another? To be specific...it's usually about preferring to date a specific/different ethnicity. Or...to only want to date people who make a certain amount of money. Or, people who only date light skinned people.

I do feel like it's ignorant as hell when someone who is like Orlando Magic away jersey Black says "I only date red bones." Or...when somebody who's 385 pounds and 5'6 says "my girl/man has to be 6 feet tall and under 200...because both can't be fat!" Or...someone with no job at all only dates people who make 200K. Of course, none of it concerns me directly, but it's still comical.

I have even had people tell me that I am wrong because I only date Black women, and because I only go for short(er) girls who are never more than "thick" (that's relative, of course). The usual thought is, "you like what you like, but you may miss out on something great because of your preferences"...that's what's been said to me, and to others on what they go for.

I think as long as what you prefer isn't the cause of being unhappy, have as many as God will allow you.

I prefer tall men but if Mr. Right is 5'7? I'm wearing flats on our wedding day.

the other qualities

but i really don't have a type. all my exes look vastly different from each other

i definitely have preferences but ive experienced enough to know that they aren't worth enough to compromise on what i truly like/want

And I'm attracted to many types and races.

I dont date black women because they (insert dumb ass stereotype)

Vs

I don't date Black women because I find other wimmenz more attractive
*****************************************
http://www.iamsharandajones.org/help

I actually debated a Black girl I used to date on this last week...and she was actually defending the men who feel this way, smh.

But I can better understand the aesthetic thought, You like lightskinned wimmenz because reasons (I still think your conditioniing is conditioned) but I get it.

Basing your preferences on stereotype. You like light skinnded wimmenz because ALL DARKSKINT WIMMENZ IS OOGLY and LOUD...

Clownage will ensue because you havent met all Dark Complected sisters and i defy you to say that Kelly Rowland ain't fine.

sideways
how healthy it is
tell me how much potassium it has
how good it goes with ice cream n cereal n'shit
and how I am a mad man for not liking this fruit(from satan)



but I still don't like bananas


I like what I like

same wit women

It is wrong to be critical of someone else's dating preferences while having preferences of your own.

Our preferences will not mirror each other. You do like who you like whereas someone else will like who they like.

If a person chooses to limit his or herself to a small pool of dating candidates, then so be it. Just be willing to accept whatever comes out of it as well as be an adult and own up and accept whatever consequences come about from having such preferences and parameters.

Lastly, I honestly do not understand why someone would care who someone else prefers to date, especially if that person does not intend to date the person they are judging?

I find rules problematic

other groups.

I remember being 20 years old and my boy said the dumbest thing to me ever about Black women.

This was after his family had moved to Bellingham, WA due to a military commitment his father had. Mentioned becuase it appears that inter-racial dating was more acceptable there than it was in Lyuisiana at the time (late 80s).

Anyway, he told me that he only dated white women because "Black women weren't shit and only wanted money."

He'd come to stay with us after getting into some trouble out in WA. My Black wife had to buy-in on providing the safe haven. Needless to say, I kicked that bamma out of me and Black wife's house and we've not been cool since. That was 1991!

and ppl OFTEN use their preferences to do so, even subconciously.

.

nm

to reflect the consequences of white supremacy, the sticklers will say those are bad preferences.


"White supremacy makes black people thinks whites or lights are all that"


You know you've heard that.

if it's a fetish than that's not healthy, at least in the realm of a relationship, but maybe someone black has a preference for lighter hued women because that's just their preference.

you bring up a good point that 'light' is mistaken as less black.

it isn't wrong but it isn't a lifestyle I agree with

but nah it isn't wrong to have a preference based on race, especially if it's what you understand best. i dont even blame people who prefer to not date their own because of personal trauma, i say do whatever works for you

fit your preference is silly.

Preferences are of course different from standards.

For example, i'm highly attracted to light skinned spanish women(who ain't? lol) my wife is black and previous gf was black and dark skinned. My preferences wouldn't stop me from getting to know someone or trying to smash.

on multiple levels.

Him and legsdiamond keep me laughing in GD

When I actually laugh out loud in the real world, and people smile and ask "whatchu laughin at" so awkward trying to explain

Who loved mac make up, watched love and hip hop, worshipped Rhi and Bey and never read a book in her life for near 3 years

She really is an awesome person tho, no snark. She taught me that preferences only mean so much

>For example, i'm highly attracted to light skinned spanish
>women(who ain't? lol) my wife is black and previous gf was
>black and dark skinned. My preferences wouldn't stop me from
>getting to know someone or trying to smash.

as someone in that same group you prefer
SWEET JESUS THAT GRINDS MY GEARS

"Mandingo" box to check on the census?

as if other ppls preferences have anything to do with how i see myself or how attractive i believe myself to be
i no longer take it personally
but i think sometimes preferences are borne of things that that the
'preferer' took personally
called ugly, too dark, too light etc & slowly (or quickly) gravitate toward something else

hol.up

i agree
whatever a person's reasons, they are allowed their own preferences
i dont care

Some people been traumatized by certain experiences and it is not my job to find out why. I have preferences such as "no hood chicks, no picky food eaters." I am extremely against picky food eaters, if you don't like Japanese, Mexican, Chinese, mien, Hmong, Mediterranean, Armenian, Indian, Brazilian, Hungarian, German, Jamaican food then your ass ain't for me. Shiiiiiiiiiet. That's just what I like though

A lot of it is bullshit though. A lot of guys have all these preferences but then you see the chicks that they actually end up with and its never that.

In your particular example, yes it is problematic to be a proponent of colorism & sizeism & say it's "just preference."

I'm problematic w/ my preferences too tho, so I don't want to come off as being enlightened or w/e.

Fishbone

to themselves, or have even considered why they think the way they do.

it's like a 9 year old's list of wants, coming from someone that's 30

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

Also, they often seem COMPLETELY divorced from reality.

"settles" for the person who meets "standards"
then meets the person who is "preferences" plus...

and you'll understand that they're oddly assured about things they know absolutely nothing about.
Personally the concept of "types" is too self confining for me, so I don't operate based on it. I don't knock anyone for what they do, but for the most part I've found that the folks that have the most strident 'preferences' are a) usually single and miserable and b) unable to meet their own set of standards.
I do know and recognize that I'm not compatible with people like this, so I tend to stay away from them even in platonic instances.

then it's in your dating. Regarding the race aspect of it, I think that's fine too. Here's the thing, I've dated someone who had issues with race/complexion before and that shit was maddening. It would've saved a lot of time if they kept it real with themselves and dated what they like. While I think people should question where their preferences come from and what they're motivated by, I've never been interested in being a stop on anyone's journey to racial/ethnic enlightenment. I prefer a person already have that shit figured out.

can't be mad cause a person has a type, BUT ......if you have a type, or "rules", PLEASE stop complaining all the time about how you can't find anyone to be with....

Because this same topic played out a lot more defensively in past posts from years ago.