It really sounds like some egos got g-checked
They were going to perform an "act of kindness"
something that would also feel good about helping someone less fortunate WHO NEVER ASKED FOR THEIR HELP
only to get hit in the face with reality when it comes out that they didn't need this "help" THAT THEY NEVER ASKED FOR. OP was clearly a non-mfkn-factor before this and after this.
The motivation to perform that act may have indeed been kindness but an ego stroke definitely fueled that action and now that same ego needs soothing, hence dragging in "the bigger picture": wealth disparity, WPS etc as a Band-Aid.

Kinda like in relationships how people will overextend themselves needlessly and without ever being asked only to throw it in people's face what they've done for them when shit hits the fan.

You know I got love for you John_Forte but I gotta call this how I see it. The reaction you and your wife had afterwards says way more about y'all than it does about the couple you were attempting to "help".