>this post is part rant, and part me asking for advice,
>prayers and information...
>
>background story:
>
>my brother is muslim and lives in gambia. he has 2 wives and 3
>kids by the first wife and 2 kids by the second wife. when he
>married the first wife, he promised her he wouldn't take a
>second wife, but right after she gave birth to their second
>child, he went on and married the second wife, which
>devastated the first wife...
>
>about a year and a half ago, my brother came here with his
>oldest son, who is now 7, and stayed for a while. my nephew
>started school here and when it was time for my brother to
>leave, they decided to let him finish out the school year. so
>he's in his second year here and his parents want him back and
>he's all ready to go. tickets have been bought and
>everything.
>
>now my brother wants a divorce from the first wife. he's said
>all kinds of things about her which may or may not be true,
>but one would expect this type of behavior from a woman who is
>scorned. my brother's plan is for her to return to her mother
>with their youngest child, a girl, who is 3; put their middle
>child, a boy, who is 5, in boarding school, and take the
>oldest, who has been staying with my mom for a year and half,
>and have him live with him and the second wife and their
>kids.
>
>have you ever in your life ever heard of such fuckery???
>
>so me and my mom are trying to figure out what to do. she's
>supposed to bring him back to gambia next week but that just
>seems like a bad idea. my nephew misses his mom sorely. to
>bring him back and have him live with the other woman is just
>cruel. so my mom says she won't bring him back and my brother
>says he's going to come get him.
>
>what would you do? what would Jesus do? can anything be done
>legally to prevent my brother from taking him back?
>
>as for me and my brother, i really dont want to have anything
>to do with him.

My mother was in hospital for her third major operation in as many years to help keep her alive. Dad was spending most nights at the hospital, and I was at home with my teenage brother and his homestay from Japan. We get a phone call that my cousin has locked himself in the bathroom at my aunt's house with a knife. Police have been called in, and they deliver him over to our place. His parents had divorced (father left my aunt for another woman after a long term affair behind her back) and my aunt was always a bit unstable anyway. I'm wondering how I'm going to deal with three teenage kids and stop my girlfriend (now Mrs Seal) running a mile from all the crazy. Once my cousin came to us though, he was fine. He just needed some stability and a calm household. Handling the three kids was relatively breezy, and my cousin improved even more once my parents came home.

That didn't stop my aunt from taking issue with the fact that he was doing so well with us, cussing my parents out (in their own home) over who knows what, and taking her son back just to salvage some pride.

Wasn't a lot we could do unfortunately. We had no legal standing, despite knowing what was best for him in the situation. He muddled through it all and seems like a thoroughly decent human being now. Sometimes you've just got to do your best from the sidelines. I know that's easier said than done because it's a lot more difficult in your mother's situation, but you have to do your best while staying in bounds, I think.

I'm sorry you and your mother have had to go through this, and can't imagine how hard this will be on the kid. You've got my prayers.