Rape is an extreme that catches everyone's attention, that nearly everyone can agree is "bad."

On some level, I think sexual violence and violation are about asserting power and domination by means of humiliation and degradation.

I honestly think more men would think twice about sexual violence/ violation and not commit crimes if there were reason to "respect" a woman's phyical strength. If a man knew a woman could overpower him or seriously injure him, he'd likely keep his fucking hands to himself.

Troubling male attitudes (some held and internalized by women), exist and are permissible in non-sexual situations, long before women are raped.

I think more of a relevant read about rape may yield a constructive conversation, say, in a discussion about street harassment or sexual harassment. Permissible attitudes and beliefs some men hold and feel entitled to hold...which are RAPEY...bubble up.

Most troubling in such convos?

Some men tend to feel entitled and view all women as sexually available-- simply yes--turned on or no--turned on projections dictated by one's lust and libido. Such men don't think about what women want, prefer, or what may be pleasurable for women.

It's not so much about sex-- but sex is used as an excuse to play a power game, a game wherein men assert their "manhood" through domination of women. Some forms of domination are more palatable and acceptable than others.

Domination and aggression aren't wonderful things and neither is taking what one wants. Ask folks who are dominated.

The issue, to me, is that some men have a difficult time granting and respecting the personhood of women. Some men are raised to dominate and to believe they are dominant. For no damn good reason: character or heart doesn't seem to matter. And so some women, in such a universe, seem to only exist as an extension of themselves or in relationshipp to some shitty understanding some men have about who or what a woman is.

When it comes to any woman: do some men want to be lord and master? Or do they prefer friendship and fairness? Sometimes, I don't know. And at best, it seems either "position" is at odds with the other. Privilege is hard to relinquish.

Can men be taught not to rape? Yep. Men can not do a ,ot of things that constitute sexual assualt, violence, harassment and misconduct. They simply choose not to becuase they don't think they have to. Such thinking can be changed.

At this point, on a personal note, I'd rather a man genuinely respect me first before professing to care for or love me.

Vent over.