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Forum nameGeneral Discussion
Topic subjectParents: Your kids first direct exposure to racism. WWYD.
Topic URLhttp://board.okayplayer.com/okp.php?az=show_topic&forum=4&topic_id=12716721
12716721, Parents: Your kids first direct exposure to racism. WWYD.
Posted by double negative, Tue Feb-03-15 09:15 AM
I have a friend from school who after graduating from college immediately bounced to Thailand. While there she a meet a Cambodian cat and they ended up making a baby. Fast forward a few years later and shes back in the states living her life.

So imagine a big brown eyed, brown skinned, brown haired girl. Lets call her Jasmine. Since day one Jasmine has always been a rough and tumble tomboy princess. She loves to play in the dirt while being dressed as a princess. She is a cute wild animal person.

So, about two weeks ago her mother posted on FB the following interaction with Jasmine:

This afternoon, as I was putting Jasmine's hair up for ballet class, she looked in the mirror and said "but I can never be beautiful".
I asked her why she would think that and she shook her head sadly and said "I just can't. My skin is too dark"
... I finally asked her, "Did someone say that to you?"
She nodded, yes and told me the name of a girl who went to preschool with her this fall.
A new girl, an older girl, who had caused a massive amount of friction between three 3-4 y.o. friends who were way too young to be expected to "work things out".

As a parent how to you begin to even address something like that? I wonder if its possible to pull a seed like that out of a persons head once its planted.
12716726, your friends are stupid, honey.
Posted by Binlahab, Tue Feb-03-15 09:20 AM
look at me, arent i handsome?
look at your mother, isnt she pretty?

so of course you can be beautiful, being dark doesnt mean you cant be or arent pretty. next time your friend says that, tell her shes stupid, then hit your nae nae on her ass

does it really matter?

wonder what bin's doing? - Corey
12716906, RE: your friends are stupid, honey.
Posted by Tiggerific, Tue Feb-03-15 11:24 AM

I make sure that my daughter knows that she's beautiful so if anyone should tell her that bs, she will course correct their butt real quick!!!!
12716728, fuck dem kids....
Posted by bonitaapplebaum71481, Tue Feb-03-15 09:24 AM
you're amazing, handsome, smart, and talented and anyone telling you less than is an idiot.

ignore them and keep shining

"i wanna hug all u idiotic bastards & then set you all on fire" -Bin

DROkayplayer: Giving you good puff since May '05
12717042, that's why you are cool!
Posted by ThaAnthology, Tue Feb-03-15 12:23 PM
12717180, lol my daughter would have told her to get the fuck outta there
Posted by Cold Truth, Tue Feb-03-15 01:19 PM
The answer: You prepare your kids ahead of time.

Ask my daughter what she thinks of her skin, and she'll say: I love my beautiful brown skin! She'll say the same thing about her hair. We affirm that in her because we know good and well there are still plenty of people who will do all they can to tear her down.

If you/me/him/her are not reaffirming our children's beauty, value, brilliance, etc from jump, we're fucking up. ***there's a caveat to also establishing humility alongside that confidence so as not to raise a self centered, arrogant monster, but I digress.

The point is you deal with this with an ounce of prevention every day beginning the day they they're born so you only need a few drops of cure when the time comes, because it WILL come.