Facts:

Grief is the process of accepting the loss of a loved one. It's YOU taking YOUR time to get through what the loss of that person means for YOU.

Self = YOU (me). Oneself, in particular

Selfish = being concerned, sometimes excessively or exclusively, for oneself or one's own advantage, pleasure, or welfare, regardless of others.

When someone dies, it isn't a bad thing for them. If they are saved, especially, as people of faith we know this to be a good thing as they rest with our Father in heaven.

When we grieve, it often prevents us from celebrating the life and transition of our loved ones to be with our Father in heaven because we haven't yet fully accepted how their death impacts US.

Grief also causes those around us to focus on helping US feel better about something positive that has happened for someone else because it has made US feel bad.

This means that the grieving process is inherently selfish, although it is also NATURAL, UNDERSTANDABLE, often REQUIRED, and NOT negative.

YOUR view:

Selfish is bad, grieving isn't bad, so grieving can't be selfish.

We shall let you cook.