>Whether you believe in an after-life or not, the person who's
>died is in a better place than you are.
>
>But you're left alive to miss them. Missing someone you'll
>never see again hurts.
>
>And it's okay to express that pain.
>
>
>I think you could try to be more compassionate about it.

A person can be caught up in the sadness of others, but I think there's a reason why we say "sorry for *your* loss."

If it wasn't self focused we would grieve far more heavily for the loss of others, but we don't, because those losses don't affect us as much.